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As soon as someone orders appetizers or alcohol (even and ESPECIALLY, if it's me doing it), it's separate checks all-the-way for me. No one should have to subsidize my splurging.
Lunches are usually an entree and iced tea, even split is OK for that, unless someone wanders "out of bound" and gets apps and dessert.
Case by case, but I don't get too wrapped around the axle if I like who I'm with. Sometimes it IS about the price of being with friends and/or having a good conversation.
Unless my husband and I, or someone else in the group we will be dining with, agrees to treat everyone; everyone has a separate check. There is nothing complicated about separate checks these days. Even if I am dining out with family members, if I order an alcoholic beverage and they don't, I will pay for my drinks regardless if it is one check or separate checks.
I think a few of the replies to galaxyhi were rather mean spirited. People dine with friends and family to enjoy the camaraderie of course, that doesn't mean they should not be mindful of the financial aspect as well.
It’s considered almost an insult to ask for separate checks where I come from. It is done on rare occasions, but definitely not often. Even my sober friend usually just says to split it evenly.
When the waiter asks I always blurt out rapidly that each will pay their own. This causes astonished glances between some at the table. I developed this (bad?) habit when I worked and business lunches turned into "let's go to lunch and you can help pay for my drinking habit". I still do it no matter what the context and people, sometimes uncomfortably, let me have my way.
Tried to rep you, AnnaLee, but can't because I have to "spread" reps around.
You are forthright in acknowledging it's uncomfortable.
Oh, I have seen the honor system go horribly wrong when the total comes up short.
It only goes horribly wrong for the waitress, who will get 15% instead of 20% because someboddy shorted. But that's OK with her, she didn't have to waste her time and patience making separate checks for quibbling fogeys.'
Occasionally I buy friends lunch at Arby's or Burger King. I tell them I have coupons and they are happy to order that way. Kind of fun to have lunch for 2 for less than $10. And they return the favor..
I think it depends on how much a difference is involved. If I've gone out with a friend, and if I order something that is $14 and the friend orders something for $13, I would get really turned off if the friend objected to splitting the check. (This happened, with a $140K government worker, who remarked "we should get separate checks since yours was $1 more.)
I got that beat.
Once at a lunch with 3 friends Cheapo was 'calculating' our individual share based on what we ordered. With a straight face he said for all to hear "Lenny, you had a sip of Terry's wine. That's about a quarter, yeah?"
And he was NOT kidding.
That was over 30 years ago so today it would be over a buck, yeah?
Me and Lenny just shook our heads.. and let it go 'cause it made a good story!
Now it's usually separate checks. Especially since it's all women.
I realize I'm paying for the experience, in eating out. I prefer to pay for my own experience, thank you very much. Your mileage may differ. I often throw in extra for the tip or whatever. But say there's a large group, and say someone is gluten intolerant, and there's nothing on the menu they can eat, but they came for the company and comradery. It's not fair that they should have to pay the price of a meal when they didn't eat anything.
Bingo, even when I go out to eat with my sons, we all get separate checks. Makes it so much easier and less fighting with everyone wanting to grab the check.
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