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In extreme examples such as yours, I would never expect that person to just chip in.
I'm sure the typical scenario is one person ordered pasta and had one drink and the other person ordered the steak and had 2 drinks. In that case I would never ask to separate the check. Between friends that's just strange to me. Basically between ANYONE I would choose to go to dinner with. It's not like we randomly show up at a table with random people. Even during work functions with people who are sort-of friends I wouldn't do it unless we were talking some huge disparity in ordering.
I think that most people are talking about larger groups. For example, I have a group of friends/acquaintances that go out for meals several times a month. Occasionally, there are new people who basically are strangers to most of us, as this is a support group.
Often, there are 12 to 16 people. It would be a problem if one person just said "Let's split the tab equally 12 (or 16) ways", but they have absolutely no idea if one of the people on the other end of the table just joined us for coffee (which sometimes happens) or another person ordered a huge meal with several drinks (which also sometimes happens). Separate checks are just so much easier and more fair to everyone.
That's what would happen to my relative (the vegan who only drank water). Someone would just announce, "There are 18 of us so let's just split the bill 18 ways. Everyone owes $$" and everyone just started to put money down on the table.
Funny you should make that assumption. RAther short sighted on your part.
5% on a large group is a fair amount so making separate checks to get that is minimal effort. If the wait person already spent 1 to 2 hours waiting on them what’s a few minutes extra making separate checks to earn 33% more tip?
It’s not just fogeys as you say. Many of the groups that shorted on the bills were 20 to 30 year olds.
Well, then agree among yourselves to make the tip 25%. How hard can that be? Or 50% or 200%. You can still control your generosity, within my formula. This is a fogey subforum.
I'm actually shocked at the overwhelming majority saying separate checks. Must be a regional thing. In NYC, like I said earlier, it's considered a mild-insult to request separate checks.
And where I live, unless someone at the table offers to pay the whole bill, separate is the default.
I'm honestly quite puzzled that from this thread it seems that the US doesn't seem to have the technology to offer separate bills easily. Here the waiter/ess brings the debit machine to the table, and everyone pays in turn. Someone might say "Oh, and I have hers" and the waitress adds their two together or whatever. The OP makes it sound like it's the 90s and a big burden on the restaurant or group and they have to do math by hand.
I haven't done the "and everyone throws cash in the middle of the table" thing in 20 years. Seriously. Who carries cash like that? It would be quaint here.
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cebuan
Well, then agree among yourselves to make the tip 25%. How hard can that be? Or 50% or 200%. You can still control your generosity, within my formula. This is a fogey subforum.
That’s dumb. When you get 30 people are you going to stand up and have a discussion and vote? I’ve Ben in groups where service varies from one person to another. The guy who orders a pasta has no problem but the guy with a steak sends it back more than once because it’s not cooked right. Everyone else is finished and he’s still trying to get his meal. You expect him to tip a higher amount?
And where I live, unless someone at the table offers to pay the whole bill, separate is the default.
I'm honestly quite puzzled that from this thread it seems that the US doesn't seem to have the technology to offer separate bills easily. Here the waiter/ess brings the debit machine to the table, and everyone pays in turn. Someone might say "Oh, and I have hers" and the waitress adds their two together or whatever. The OP makes it sound like it's the 90s and a big burden on the restaurant or group and they have to do math by hand.
I haven't done the "and everyone throws cash in the middle of the table" thing in 20 years. Seriously. Who carries cash like that? It would be quaint here.
Yes, you're right, we have the technology (mostly). I haven't seen servers bring a machine to the table, typically they ring it up and bring out the checks. But all I can say is, I think there is a stigma about asking for separate checks, lingering from the days when the technology was NOT available and it was customary to just split the check evenly. The person who wanted a separate check was usually the one whose bill was going to be the smallest, so they looked like a cheap-a**. And then you had the person who, when the check was split evenly, complained "Well, I only had this" and disrupted the whole process. Even here in Southwest Florida, where it IS customary to offer separate checks, I've seen folks visiting from up North demur, going back to the stigma and not wanting to look cheap.
Tell them at the start, separate checks. If the restaurant can't make that happen, then, new restaurant!
I think it may be regional, but where I live, that seems like a good way to annoy the heck out of your server from the get-go at most decent restaurants. Mature adults going out to dinner should be able to work out a check for the table.
A person who is going to eat and drink a lot more than everyone else is simply a jerk if they don't at least offer to throw more in.
Tomorrow night I am meeting about a dozen people from high school for dinner. We reconnected at our 40-year reunion three years ago, and some of us who are local meet up about twice a year ever since. I was never friends with half these people in high school, lol, but here we are getting together after all this time.
I'm pretty sure no one in this group is going to start sniveling about separate checks, but if it happens, I promise to report back here. It's a nice, somewhat upscale Italian place, and I don't think they'd take kindly to such a request. It's also a BYOB, so drinks won't be an issue. I'll bring a bottle of red, and I will share it. So will others. Some don't drink at all.
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