Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Optimism and pessimism play a huge role in life. A very influential psychologist Amos Tversky, who should have received the Nobel prize with Daniel Kahneman, once said -
“when you are a pessimist and the bad thing happens, you live it twice. Once when you worry about it, and the second time when it happens.”
Everyone is obviously wired differently and falls somewhere in the optimism-pessimism spectrum. I wonder if you see it particularly important as you age, and what effort, if anything, you make to maintain or improve on the attitude.
Speaking of myself, I am on the realistic/pessimistic side but not excessively so. There is plenty of room to improve
My pastor once said that worry is good, because 95% of those things fail to happen-kinds like magic. The other 5% is not nearly as bad as feared
What if everything turns out fine? Then what are you going to do?!?!!!
I have always been a realist. I've been called cynical for this and I think that's incorrect. Realist- looking at something and admitting it's bad/a problem. Cynic- looking at something that's bad and saying, "Well, whaddya expect?!"
I don't see how anything can be addressed unless it's first looked at with a rational eye. I guess I don't believe in positive thinking.
I tend to be a "glass half full" kind of person, I think I am wired that way. When bad things happen, I guess I go into shock for a short time, think it's possible I may never get through it, then start thinking of ways I can mitigate, adjust to, or maybe even fix the problems.
Not that I never worry or stew about a possible worst case scenario. But I find it helps to make myself think of the worst thing that could possibly happen, then think of what I could do to make the best of it. I'm comforted in knowing the worst case scenario likely will not happen, and that if I can handle the worse case scenario, I surely can handle the lesser case scenarios.
It's not an old age perspective, at least in my case, I have been more on the optomistic side all my life. What I do think (at least for me), is that in my old age, a lifetime of experiences, including any number in which I had to overcome adversities (tragic in some case), and had to rely on my own abilities to do so, have given me a sense that I really can overcome anything.
The bolded above is exactly how I operate. I call myself a realistic optimist, with good planning skills.
I am the child of parents who went to both extremes. My mom was an extreme pessimist. My dad was (as the old song says) a cockeyed optimist. I have always been very much like my dad.
However, since age 60 I have become less optimistic about my future health and finances. In both cases that is a result of negative experiences that happened starting at that point. But I would not go so far as to say that I am pessimistic, other than to accept (while not being AT ALL happy about it!) that I am worse off in both respects than I'd ever previously imagined ... yet not nearly as bad in either respect as some other people.
One thing that has definitely changed during my senior years is that I no longer automatically assume that people are "good", meaning that they are actually sincere/truthful. Again this is a result of various experiences going back to my teen years but it wasn't until my late 50s that my automatic reaction to most people has switched from 'assuming the best' to 'maybe this person is not truly as they seem.' That is not the same as assuming that most people are "bad unless they prove themselves otherwise."
I don't assume that the future is going to be negative, but I do admit the possibility whereas when I was younger (pre-sixties) I never used to. I don't court disaster but I don't go to great lengths to avoid it either. For example, I do wear a seat belt but I do often exceed the 55 mph speed limit on the parkways also. I don't smoke or drink, but I also don't exercise either.
Maybe the right description for me would be "pragmatically optimistic"?
I, too, am a realistic optimist. I plan for the future but I do not worry about things I cannot control. I love life, and feel very blessed that I DO enjoy people, giggles, birds, sunshine, grumps, etc. I believe I have always been this way......never expected more or less than what life gives me for any particular day. However, people who always say
"everything will turn out fine" drive me nuts. Things turn out fine when you are proactive and when YOU give people a little help.
However, people who always say "everything will turn out fine" drive me nuts.
Oh gosh, me too. Because most of the time it's a knee-jerk Band-Aid response with no facts to back it up. I am the kind of person who analyzes everything to death before making a decision. When I approach a problem or situation, it's with an eye to figuring out the most probable outcome. And yes, sometimes it results in Analysis Paralysis, lol. Or as I call it, spinning my wheels furiously but getting nowhere.
Combine my Mega-analytical Tendency with a lifelong Propensity For Procrastination, add a huge dollop of Aversion To Confrontation, toss in a few handfuls of Discomfort With Uncertainty, then top it all off with more than a sprinkling of Inherent Laziness, and it's actually a wonder that I've lived as long as I have, lol
ETA: I do envy people who do not concern themselves about things ahead of time, or events that they perceive as being beyond their control. Or so they claim, anyway. I do wonder if it's really true. I have never been able to compartmentalize stress; if it's there, it takes over everything until the source of the stress is gone. But when it is gone, it's well and truly gone.
I tend to be a "glass half full" kind of person, I think I am wired that way. When bad things happen, I guess I go into shock for a short time, think it's possible I may never get through it, then start thinking of ways I can mitigate, adjust to, or maybe even fix the problems.
Not that I never worry or stew about a possible worst case scenario. But I find it helps to make myself think of the worst thing that could possibly happen, then think of what I could do to make the best of it. I'm comforted in knowing the worst case scenario likely will not happen, and that if I can handle the worse case scenario, I surely can handle the lesser case scenarios.
It's not an old age perspective, at least in my case, I have been more on the optomistic side all my life. What I do think (at least for me), is that in my old age, a lifetime of experiences, including any number in which I had to overcome adversities (tragic in some case), and had to rely on my own abilities to do so, have given me a sense that I really can overcome anything.
Yep same here, realist but “glass half full” and it’s gotten me through some terrible times.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.