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My husband and I don't have children and don't really have any other family members that we're real close with. When we retire we plan to move from where we're currently living because we don't want to deal with the extreme winters, especially when we're elderly.
My question for anyone else in a similar situation is, how did the fact that you don't have children or close family play into your decision on where and how to live in retirement?
We are very self sufficient right now. We very rarely hire anyone to do anything for us. We've built one of our homes from the ground up and have considered building another home when we retire, once we decide on where we want to be. We maintain and fix everything ourselves on our properties. However, I've also wondered if maybe we should look at a condo or a retirement community, so that we're not off out on our own when we get older. Since we won't have anyone to check in on us or care for us, if we live long enough to where we aren't as capable of caring for ourselves. I've seen way too many situations of older folks wanting to stay in their home and their adult children are constantly checking in on them and doing things for them. We won't have that. So what is the best option for us?
Maybe it's not a one and done. Maybe we move somewhere and build a home, stay in it for 10 to 20 years and then look at moving to a condo or retirement community? We plan to retire in our late 50s.
If anyone is in a similar situation, I'd love to hear your thoughts. I know there's other people out there like us, even though it often feels like we're the only ones without children or close family.
I certainly have no family, never married or children (out of choice) and no bio family to concern myself. But then, I never thought of family as people who could help me in any way (experience speaking).
I moved from Boston to SW Colorado at retirement (age 65). I built a small house (800 sq.ft.) in a small progressive town. I hire people for whatever I don't want to do- landscape, handyman, deep cleaning. I have checked into what transport options there would be to the big town (20,000 people 26 miles away) for hospital/doctor/organic food if need be. I have ended up with great food delivery aside from the pandemic and am very happy with those products.
I have picked out a couple of 55+ apartment complexes near Denver (several hours drive away) if I so needed. I am committed to adopting senior and compromised dogs and would likely not be able to continue in an apartment, so I am not looking to move again. There is a great hospice service on the Western Slope.
I can't think of anything else but I'd be happy in a 55+ community if not able to live here in my house. But I have set things up for aging as best as possible (no stairs in the house, will consider hiring someone to put in a walkway that won't ice up, not out in the boonies although they are very nearby). If I lived more in the boonies, which might have happened, I'd still find people to hire for whatever. I do think that people in couples need to consider that one person will outlive the other, and what that will mean. I certainly know women who were suddenly widowed at around age 60s-70s without advance notice.
When my builder gently pointed out that my house is probably too small for two people, I asked, "You mean I get a boyfriend with the house?" Anyway, the only man I've had my eye on for a long time lives in a small house truly in the boonies. I guess we'll have to work it out should we be so lucky.
Thanks Brightdoglover! I've previously read some your other posts, since western Colorado is one of the areas that we're considering. It seems to check a lot of boxes on our list. It's just a matter of the balance of finding a place that's not too conservative and not too extreme with heat in the summer and snow in the winter, yet falls within our desired budget in that area of CO.
Not having children frees you from the desire to move close (aka chase) your kid(s) around the country. In many cases parents who decide to retire near their child find themselves hating the area chosen by the child or they find said child too busy with their life to give full attention or worse yet, the child moves after a few years to pursue a career. You can find a place you like and not be concerned about your children’s choice of locale
I would consider this my last move. Thus maybe rent in the area to make sure before buying or building.
Based on this being my final move I would look for an over 55 community as you should find support from your neighbors as you age.
Thanks Brightdoglover! I've previously read some your other posts, since western Colorado is one of the areas that we're considering. It seems to check a lot of boxes on our list. It's just a matter of the balance of finding a place that's not too conservative and not too extreme with heat in the summer and snow in the winter, yet falls within our desired budget in that area of CO.
Feel free to DM me about my corner of SW Colorado. As for "too conservative," well, that's subjective but most of western Colorado is quite red in voting and such. I'm up at 7,000 feet, and find the summers rather hot if a hot season- further down is certainly much hotter. Whatever your desired budget, things are going up up and yes, up. Just so you know.
For us, it was important that we live near a library, favorite stores, and close to a hospital. We walk to most of our medical appointments and look forward to post covid trips to the library again. I have witnessed too many friends' children ignore them until it is time to consider their portion of the estate. One neighbor had fights with her daughter over new Costco towels because the daughter thought she didn't need them. It was also a problem if my neighbor wanted to take a short trip - her daughter didn't want to miss out on a penny!
I had another friend who moved into a neighborhood which was comprised of mostly seniors and hated it because everyone had nothing to do but stick their nose into someone else's business. Rent in an area you are interested in before putting down a lot of money. Check with others about the availability of caregivers and whether you want one in your home.
Take one move at a time, we don't know our expiration date so plans can change drastically, but always keep an open mind to new possibilities. Being flexible at this time is very important.
For us, it was important that we live near a library, favorite stores, and close to a hospital. We walk to most of our medical appointments and look forward to post covid trips to the library again. I have witnessed too many friends' children ignore them until it is time to consider their portion of the estate. One neighbor had fights with her daughter over new Costco towels because the daughter thought she didn't need them. It was also a problem if my neighbor wanted to take a short trip - her daughter didn't want to miss out on a penny!
I had another friend who moved into a neighborhood which was comprised of mostly seniors and hated it because everyone had nothing to do but stick their nose into someone else's business. Rent in an area you are interested in before putting down a lot of money. Check with others about the availability of caregivers and whether you want one in your home.
Take one move at a time, we don't know our expiration date so plans can change drastically, but always keep an open mind to new possibilities. Being flexible at this time is very important.
You bring up some good points that I've definitely considered. We plan to do quite a bit of exploring and seasonal stays in different areas before we commit to a place permanently. I can absolutely see what your friend is saying about living in a community with all seniors. My mother in law lives in a senior apartment and they're always all up in each others business.
My mother in law lives in a senior apartment and they're always all up in each others business.
My grandmother used to say this! She had no privacy!
I have two kids and a sister. My kids plan on moving to different parts of the country. A month ago, we moved to Virginia and now my daughter is thinking of moving to Pittsburg for a graduate program.
My sister and I have a difficult relationship. I love her, but she is scratchy. I don't want to bump into her at a supermarket when she is in one of her moods. Distance is golden.
Basically, we are on our own.
Our present VA location has a university and a garden club. I've seen many seniors walking outside (no way to meet anyone with Covid). We want to move to Maine for part of the year and find some place for winter. Honestly, I have no idea of what we are going to do. For now, I am so happy to be out of snowy New York.
So the short of it is: Don't live your life for someone else!
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