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Old 05-11-2021, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,584 posts, read 84,795,337 times
Reputation: 115110

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I just finished cleaning out my late mother's house, and it was a nightmare. SHE had started getting rid of stuff ten years ago when she could still get into the attic, but there was still so much stuff in the house. We had a couple of garage sales. Sold some stuff (costume jewelry goes fast) but in the end, a lot of it ended up on the curb--and then most of it, including furniture, was taken away by garbage pickers, which was fine. Would rather they take it than it ends up in the ocean.

Nobody wants wood furniture anymore. I still have this beautiful long shelf with hooks that my mother had in the kitchen because I just can't bear to toss it out on the garbage. I have no place to put it in my house, but I hope someone will be able to use it someday. Also nice wood-frame mirrors, heavy. Nobody wants them.

The collectible crap doesn't go. My late bro gave my mother Snowbabies every year until she begged him to stop. Donated a box of them to a veteran's organization for their thrift shop, along with the bells and music boxes.

The treasures we DID keep were old photos, the original contract and drawings to build the house that we found on a high shelf in a closet, and other items that mean something to our family history.

After cleaning out a six-bedroom house with two attics and a huge basement with 63 years of accumulated junk, I'm sitting here in my 940 s.f. condo looking around and thinking "I have way too much crap here, and I'd better get rid of most of it before I croak."
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Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 05-11-2021 at 08:59 AM.. Reason: Typo
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Old 05-11-2021, 08:56 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
13,713 posts, read 12,435,560 times
Reputation: 20227
Quote:
Originally Posted by sll3454 View Post
My parents (in their 80s) are needing to downsize, but they have no idea what to do with all their stuff. I'm sure this is a common problem for people of their generation. Their parents' generation, and maybe their grandparents, a little bit, were the first generations to collect a lot of stuff. (Prior to that, the families were on the move too much to collect stuff, and when they handed things down it was so they could be used, not just kept.)



My mother keeps showing me special things that were her grandmothers, and lots of things that were her mothers. (My grandmother was a big collector of things.) Then there are her own things, starting with the fine china and silver that a young woman used to get when she married (and only used on Thanksgiving and Christmas).


What is one to do with three generations of stuff, when the next generation (mine) doesn't want it?


Any suggestions on helping my parents start their downsizing?
Having been through this a couple times with elderly grandparents, in-laws, and great-aunts/uncles, the best thing is to work backwards, rather than forwards.

So, figure out where they're going, and what the space looks like. If they're moving into a 1200 sf condo from a 2400 sf house with a garage and shed and basement (which means they have 3800 sf of stuff,) you start with furnishing the bedroom at their new place. So, the bed goes to the new place, the dressers, the nightstands, the bedroom chair. Closets; what clothes do they wish to take with them?

Kitchen; they're unlikely to need the pressure canner and teh turkey roaster; they will need maybe 1/2 dozen place settings, some pots and pans. Bring the kitchen table if it's sized appropriately, but if it isn't get something smaller.

Living room; take the couch and the chair, and the coffee table. If they have a big old CRT type TV and entertainment center, leave it and buy them a decent flat panel since they're inexpensive now anyway.

Figure out what are truly keepsakes to her that she wishes to keep, and what's simply old stuff that a dead relative owned.

And so on and so on.

The only things you really want to go THROUGH and sort through are important documents; you don't want to throw out the savings bonds they bought for a Grandchild 24 years ago.

Ok...so now we're left with mostly a houseful of stuff. China, luggage, maybe tools, patio furniture, paintings, antiques, furniture from rooms that won't fit in the new place, etc...Ask the family what they want. One grandparent's transition came at a time when grandchildren were going through transitions themselves; one marrying, one leaving the nest, another restarting after a divorce. That actually got rid of a lot stuff. But often, it won't.

In that case, call an estate sale company. They will guarantee your house is empty in a weekend. They'll photograph and itemize and sell it all. While it isn't the top dollar one would get marketing each piece individually, the process is done quickly, and you get a decent handful of cash at the end, more than you would pawning it, and have an infinitely smaller burden of stuff to deal with. Remaining items are boxed and typically folks load those boxes up and take them to the Salvation Army/Goodwill.
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Old 05-11-2021, 09:02 AM
 
Location: USA
9,137 posts, read 6,185,387 times
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call local charities and organizations. Here's a start. DonationTown
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Old 05-11-2021, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Redwood City, CA
15,251 posts, read 12,964,014 times
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I'm sitting in the living room of our Scottsdale home, looking around as I write this. Nearly everything I see was already here when we bought the house: Ornate ceramic-and-glass items, lots of frosted glass in jewel tones, three glass oil lamps, a couple of large hideous tribal masks framed behind glass, the TV and some unusual metal items. One of those looks like an enormous beaten copper gourd. The only things I see that I bought are a cat tree, a Roomba and eight books on a shelf.

I have to give the previous owners props for finding a way to get rid of their stuff. It is literally all over the house. Some of it I've stashed away where I don't have to look at it, because DH would have kittens if he ever caught me putting it in the trash. And since we are together ALL THE TIME now (she said, gritting her teeth), he'd notice.

Even after escrow closed, the previous owners wanted to come over. Turned out they had more stuff they wanted to drop off here! Too, I think they were having trouble letting go of their long-time home.
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Old 05-11-2021, 09:16 AM
 
17,387 posts, read 16,524,581 times
Reputation: 29045
Quote:
Originally Posted by JONOV View Post
Having been through this a couple times with elderly grandparents, in-laws, and great-aunts/uncles, the best thing is to work backwards, rather than forwards.

So, figure out where they're going, and what the space looks like. If they're moving into a 1200 sf condo from a 2400 sf house with a garage and shed and basement (which means they have 3800 sf of stuff,) you start with furnishing the bedroom at their new place. So, the bed goes to the new place, the dressers, the nightstands, the bedroom chair. Closets; what clothes do they wish to take with them?

Kitchen; they're unlikely to need the pressure canner and teh turkey roaster; they will need maybe 1/2 dozen place settings, some pots and pans. Bring the kitchen table if it's sized appropriately, but if it isn't get something smaller.

Living room; take the couch and the chair, and the coffee table. If they have a big old CRT type TV and entertainment center, leave it and buy them a decent flat panel since they're inexpensive now anyway.

Figure out what are truly keepsakes to her that she wishes to keep, and what's simply old stuff that a dead relative owned.

And so on and so on.

The only things you really want to go THROUGH and sort through are important documents; you don't want to throw out the savings bonds they bought for a Grandchild 24 years ago.

Ok...so now we're left with mostly a houseful of stuff. China, luggage, maybe tools, patio furniture, paintings, antiques, furniture from rooms that won't fit in the new place, etc...Ask the family what they want. One grandparent's transition came at a time when grandchildren were going through transitions themselves; one marrying, one leaving the nest, another restarting after a divorce. That actually got rid of a lot stuff. But often, it won't.

In that case, call an estate sale company. They will guarantee your house is empty in a weekend. They'll photograph and itemize and sell it all. While it isn't the top dollar one would get marketing each piece individually, the process is done quickly, and you get a decent handful of cash at the end, more than you would pawning it, and have an infinitely smaller burden of stuff to deal with. Remaining items are boxed and typically folks load those boxes up and take them to the Salvation Army/Goodwill.
This sounds like a good approach to me: 1) Figure out where they will be going 2) Figure out what they will need to bring with them, set that stuff to the side or move it to the new location 3) Figure out which family heirlooms to keep and give to family members 4) The rest sell at an estate sale.
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Old 05-11-2021, 09:26 AM
 
17,387 posts, read 16,524,581 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBtwinz View Post

My friends in-laws just passed away not to long ago and he and his wife had to empty a fully furnished home in the Villages. Like them all of the other brothers and sisters were in their late fifties and their homes had no room for the items.
At least the homes in The Villages have no basements, limited storage space, smallish garages, no out buildings. It's one of the places we are considering downsizing to. I've seen many of the homes go up for sale fully furnished. As long as the furniture is attractive and in decent shape, you would simply clear out all of the personal items, have the house professionally cleaned and then put it on the market with furniture included.
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Old 05-11-2021, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Redwood City, CA
15,251 posts, read 12,964,014 times
Reputation: 54051
Quote:
Originally Posted by BOBNCHI View Post
Downsizing is liberating!

First, take any emotion out of it, theirs and yours, in the end it's just stuff.

China (especially fine quality or unique) and silver will be easier to sell. Everything else, who knows. I had some luck selling deceased mom's/mil's "collectibles" and stuff on Facebook marketplace and having garage sales. To be honest it was tough because things that were thought to be collectable or interesting, were not. In the end it came down to things going to Goodwill, give away and trash. Good luck!
I buy china and sterling silver. I'm still moving my set of Minton Rose from the other house to the Arizona house. I ran out of boxes to pack it in. At some point I will consign it to auction. It will sell. I never buy smalls that don't retain their value.

I have a collection of sterling silver items -- tea tongs, tea strainers and the like -- and those will sell, too.
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Old 05-11-2021, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
6,341 posts, read 4,905,591 times
Reputation: 17999
Quote:
Originally Posted by sll3454 View Post
What is one to do with three generations of stuff, when the next generation (mine) doesn't want it?
Yard sale and/or Craigslist.
What doesn't sell goes to Goodwill or Salvation Army.
What they don't want goes in the dumpster.
Easy Peasey.

That's what I did when I downsized into a smaller house two years ago.

One just has to accept that one person's treasure is another person's junk.
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Old 05-11-2021, 09:46 AM
 
1,334 posts, read 1,674,715 times
Reputation: 4232
The previous owners of my house left a ton of stuff behind in the garage: spare doors for the kitchen cabinets, extra tile, cans of paint, misc lumber. All things that MIGHT be useful, but dang they took up all the space. I put an ad on Facebook, everything free, just come and pick it up. I was amazed, got rid of all of it (including the old paint and scrap lumber -- someone came from 50 miles away and took it for a chicken coop!) within a week. It's gone, and not to the landfill!

OTOH, I have a beautiful sterling silver service for 8 plus serving pieces in a mahogany box that I bought as a naive new bride 40 years ago and which has only been out of the box maybe 5 times. I advertised it on Facebook and the only interest I got was someone very insistent that I sell it to him for less than scrap value. I'm pretty sure he didn't think I'd been keeping up on the spot price of silver and intended to melt it down. It goes back in the closet. Maybe it will come back into style.

So my suggestion is if you really want it gone, try free first.
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Old 05-11-2021, 10:16 AM
 
Location: Redwood City, CA
15,251 posts, read 12,964,014 times
Reputation: 54051
Quote:
Originally Posted by semispherical View Post
The previous owners of my house left a ton of stuff behind in the garage: spare doors for the kitchen cabinets, extra tile, cans of paint, misc lumber. All things that MIGHT be useful, but dang they took up all the space. I put an ad on Facebook, everything free, just come and pick it up. I was amazed, got rid of all of it (including the old paint and scrap lumber -- someone came from 50 miles away and took it for a chicken coop!) within a week. It's gone, and not to the landfill!

Great job!


Quote:
OTOH, I have a beautiful sterling silver service for 8 plus serving pieces in a mahogany box that I bought as a naive new bride 40 years ago and which has only been out of the box maybe 5 times.

If you don't mind me asking, what's the pattern?
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