Retired Early, Get Strange Looks When I Tell Others I'm Retired (communities, movies)
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there was a time that the only way a divorced woman could afford to own a home was from an inheritance or money from her ex. Not everyone gets divorced from a rich or well off spouse. And until recent decades women didn't earn much on average. You didn't say what decade this took place.
2001. My divorcee mom (w/5 kids and very little child support) bought her own home back in 1970. Of course homes were a lot cheaper then.
Last edited by TheShadow; 11-06-2021 at 07:42 AM..
Interesting. I retired at 60 and never got this reaction. It's always a "good for you" type of response.
A lot could be because of your location in Maryland and the DC area. It is not unusual for folks there to retire in their mid late 50's. Higher percentage of folks with pensions etc etc. Not unusual at all and the standard of living is higher so your retirement income is proportional to many others working income. Transplant elsewhere retired at the same age where your retirement income exceeds most folks working income and you might see a different reaction. We did as did most transplants to the area. That has changed as the number of working and retired transplants has soared as has the cost of living and working incomes in the area.
It's probably jealousy or in their minds, retirement is something that you do when you start drawing Social Security, so they don't understand it.
Either way, I wouldn't be bothered by weird looks or snide remarks. I'd laugh about it. Guess who gets to do what he wants all day while they have to spend all day following orders from some boss? LOL
It isn't just freedom of time that can be magnified by the relative income level difference between the worker with the snide remarks and antagonism and the retiree with the freedom and income to enjoy it.
The number of people who just seem incapable of understanding not having a job is just amazing. It's like there's some complete lack of mental flexibility there.
It's not even that they think I'm going to be homeless or something. When the inevitable "How do you get by" comes up, and I respond with "I'm fortunate enough to have the resources necessary to take care of myself," they're still stunned. But not by that; they're still stuck on why I'm not processing insurance forms or mortgage applications for 40 hours a week or something.
There are some jobs that may be worth doing even if you did not need the money. I think that's probably about 1% of jobs out there, maybe even less. Most people could not get those jobs, even if they wanted to, because of the fierce competition for them.
The number of people who lack imagination to find something more interesting to do with their time then a makework job just stuns me.
The number of people who just seem incapable of understanding not having a job is just amazing. It's like there's some complete lack of mental flexibility there.
It's not even that they think I'm going to be homeless or something. When the inevitable "How do you get by" comes up, and I respond with "I'm fortunate enough to have the resources necessary to take care of myself," they're still stunned. But not by that; they're still stuck on why I'm not processing insurance forms or mortgage applications for 40 hours a week or something.
There are some jobs that may be worth doing even if you did not need the money. I think that's probably about 1% of jobs out there, maybe even less. Most people could not get those jobs, even if they wanted to, because of the fierce competition for them.
The number of people who lack imagination to find something more interesting to do with their time then a makework job just stuns me.
If you were able to retire at 45, good for you. You don't have to explain to anyone else how you could afford to do that.
Retirement was definitely not an option for me or my husband at 45. With 2 elementary school age kids at home we would have blown through our savings in a hurry and we would have still been 20 years away from Medicare eligibility and 17 years away from social security eligibility, 22 years away from FRA.
I would imagine that when people act surprised when you tell them you are retired at 45 it's more a matter of them wondering HOW not WHY.
If you were able to retire at 45, good for you. You don't have to explain to anyone else how you could afford to do that.
Retirement was definitely not an option for me or my husband at 45. With 2 elementary school age kids at home we would have blown through our savings in a hurry and we would have still been 20 years away from Medicare eligibility and 17 years away from social security eligibility, 22 years away from FRA.
I would imagine that when people act surprised when you tell them you are retired at 45 it's more a matter of them wondering HOW not WHY.
Sure. I would definitely understand surprise at how. But people seem far more disturbed that I'm not "doing something." And it's really clear that by "doing something," they mean a job.
One of the most common responses is "I couldn't do that, I'd need something to keep me busy."
It does not seem to matter when I explain that golf, gardening, walking, reading, movies, volunteering, beer making, woodworking, and many other things are more than enough to keep me busy.
At the end of the day, it is what it is, but I have definitely noticed a tendency for people to say it as a pejorative. There's a not so subtle "You must be lazy" behind it. (Never mind that I did not get to a position where I could be done at that age by being lazy.)
The number of people who lack imagination to find something more interesting to do with their time then a makework job just stuns me.
Why? Let's not overestimate human ingenuity. Outside of our professions, of us are not particularly imaginative.
The real quandary is for persons in ostenisbly "knowledge worker" jobs... the lab scientists, the developers, the writers of jingles and scripts. The titular job may be fantastic, but the environment and pressure are not. And yet, even if we've solved the thorny problem of how to "get by", how to solve the parallel problem of what to be doing, once we've gotten-by?
Consider two founders in a tech start-up. The start-up undergoes a "liquidity event", making both of them wealthy. One starts another start-up, and another. Why? Because he's brilliant? No, both of them are "brilliant" in their vocations. But the serial entrepreneur can't think of anything else to do. The other guy meanwhile becomes a playwright. Or a furniture maker. The first guy is dubbed as being more imaginative in the conventional mercantile sense, while it's the other guy who's really more imaginative in the holistic sense. Which is the more common?
Thus the proliferation of "BS Jobs" (a book by that name, by the late-lamented David Graeber, and an active topic elsewhere on CD). Such jobs are necessary to keep reasonably intelligent and well-educated people from going insane. The jobs produce nothing of value, and may even have a negative contribution to the economy! But they forestall the awful - wait for it! - existential crisis of what to do with oneself, of how to justify one's education, of how to feel signficant and useful and a wholesome participant and all that.
Why? Let's not overestimate human ingenuity. Outside of our professions, of us are not particularly imaginative.
The real quandary is for persons in ostenisbly "knowledge worker" jobs... the lab scientists, the developers, the writers of jingles and scripts. The titular job may be fantastic, but the environment and pressure are not. And yet, even if we've solved the thorny problem of how to "get by", how to solve the parallel problem of what to be doing, once we've gotten-by?
Consider two founders in a tech start-up. The start-up undergoes a "liquidity event", making both of them wealthy. One starts another start-up, and another. Why? Because he's brilliant? No, both of them are "brilliant" in their vocations. But the serial entrepreneur can't think of anything else to do. The other guy meanwhile becomes a playwright. Or a furniture maker. The first guy is dubbed as being more imaginative in the conventional mercantile sense, while it's the other guy who's really more imaginative in the holistic sense. Which is the more common?
Thus the proliferation of "BS Jobs" (a book by that name, by the late-lamented David Graeber, and an active topic elsewhere on CD). Such jobs are necessary to keep reasonably intelligent and well-educated people from going insane. The jobs produce nothing of value, and may even have a negative contribution to the economy! But they forestall the awful - wait for it! - existential crisis of what to do with oneself, of how to justify one's education, of how to feel signficant and useful and a wholesome participant and all that.
Yes, I think this is a big part of it. Which is fascinating, and really hits to our societal ills in general, as this is only a phenomenon of the last 100 years or so.
Does anyone really think hunter gatherer tribes, Great Plains Indians, or even some 17th century farmer had existential crises about what to do with themselves? Sure, they by necessity had to spend more time on basic activities necessary to survive. But at the same time, there was still a lot of downtime (particularly in seasonal off cycles). I cannot imagine, however, large numbers of people, no matter how intelligent, sitting there thinking, "Well, the harvesting cycle is done - I'm just sitting here - I really should be 'doing something' - I don't feel significant."
I think people used to be more capable of just being. I even remember this from growing up, and how much more at ease great grandparents, great aunts and uncles, etc. seemed to be about their lives, and what they were. Sure, part of this was because adults aren't necessarily going to talk about their existential ennui with a teenager. But I firmly believe part of it as well was because we did not have the same level of pressure to always be performing and to be "doing".
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