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It's not my normal expected Thanksgiving, though I am very pleased with my holidays, including Thanksgiving.
Starting with - we don't serve mashed potatoes and we don't call dressing "stuffing." But so much more too. There are so many different ways that different families and individuals observe Thanksgiving and one is not automatically superior to another.
I'm not saying that YOU'RE saying that - It's just an observation I have.
It's our experience and expectation. What others do if they want stays inside their dining room and hopefully they have a good burp when done.
Wife and I both have similar experiences growing up and our sons obviously did also. Seems as though are DIL's did also. In fact the biggest challenge is balancing out who visits with which family. That's how we ended up with 13 this year as a result of overlapping expectations. To make it easy just decided to have it all prepared.
I chose to use stuffing for my post as opposed to dressing as growing up my mom always had a stuffed Turkey. Personally don't give a rats behind what its called. Whether stuffed in a Turkey or prepared in a casserole dish once you put the gravy on it and put it beside the Cranberry what ever it is Bada Bing time!
Thanks. Oh my. So it's actually a disagreement between the OP and wife regarding how to deal with her family. That's not a Thanksgiving problem and I wish them luck.
After being haranged by her Sister for not roasting a full Turkey (our household only likes white meat), for making the Stuffing in a casserole dish or on top of the stove, for only having one vegetable, and only two pies, my wife finally had enough!
For weeks now her Siblings have said they were not coming to our house for Thanksgiving, so my wife planned the menu for her and I and ample left-overs. Now realizing my wife will not be pressured into cooking a multi course meal and transporting it 2+ hours so they can gorge themselves with zero effort or cost, the four of them might be traveling to our house.
Assuming any of them will allow their car to be used for the 300 mile round trip, or someone will pay for the gas, or someone will drive, etc.
Don't you just love this time of year.
Hotel! Don’t let any of the freeloading vagabonds stay over.
I make both stuffing (stuff the bird) and dressing (separate dish cooked in a casserole).
I make stuffin' muffins because, well, they are cute... and the bird cooks more quickly when it is unstuffed. That is the 'starch.' Sometimes I will make a sweet potato or yam side - small!!! - but generally not anymore, OR i put them in with the veggies I roast.
I buy aromatics to put in the cavity (I hate that word) and season the outside of the turkey like Dad used to do.
I make homemade cranberry sauce - so easy it's a real no brainer.
I've gotten back to making gravy from the drippings - again, like Dad's. It is really really good!!
Veggies are generally roasted.....brussel sprouts, carrots, turnip, rutabaga, shallots.....a kitchen sink approach and delicious (just have to remember to cut them to size so they are all done at the same time) and I use a dutch oven for this.
It's simple but even this can be work - but one day a year I can make the effort (I am not a great cook at all)..... and it's all really good
When my mother was still alive, one year she, my husband and I decided we would go out to eat Thanksgiving dinner. Marie Callendar's (in CA). As we were finishing up, Mom, never a great cook, and me, just passable were like, man, this is so excellent and we don't have to clean up either!!! Why haven't we done this all along? LOL.
So.....occasionally Hubs and I will go out for T-day dinner. One year we went to Trapp Family Lodge. OMG. it was really expensive but there was so much delicious food and the dining room was set up very elegantly. And I think it was Maria (one of the Trapps) who came around to each table and wished us all a happy Thanksgiving. It was nice.
DH and I were traveling in Phoenix one Thanksgiving, and went to a resort up in the hills for a Thanksgiving buffet. It was $75 each and totally worth it.
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I make stuffin' muffins because, well, they are cute... and the bird cooks more quickly when it is unstuffed. That is the 'starch.' Sometimes I will make a sweet potato or yam side - small!!! - but generally not anymore, OR i put them in with the veggies I roast.
I buy aromatics to put in the cavity (I hate that word) and season the outside of the turkey like Dad used to do.
I make homemade cranberry sauce - so easy it's a real no brainer.
I've gotten back to making gravy from the drippings - again, like Dad's. It is really really good!!
Veggies are generally roasted.....brussel sprouts, carrots, turnip, rutabaga, shallots.....a kitchen sink approach and delicious (just have to remember to cut them to size so they are all done at the same time) and I use a dutch oven for this.
It's simple but even this can be work - but one day a year I can make the effort (I am not a great cook at all)..... and it's all really good
I can not make gravy to save my life. My last attempt at gravy was horrible. Thank goodness I had a back up jar of gravy to use because we would have been gravyless that year otherwise. Everything else I make turns out really well.
I make homemade mashed potatoes, mac & cheese and stuffing/dressing. I also bake crescent rolls (not homemade).
Asparagus and green beans are the veggies. I'll serve canned cranberry sauce.
Nothing I make is that hard to make, it's more a matter of there being so many different dishes and timing it all so that everything is hot when served.
If someone is nice enough to cook me dinner, I am going to keep my mouth shut about my "wants." I can take care of those when I get home.
I am of the belief that when you're invited to someone else's home for a holiday meal (or any meal), it is up to the host to decide what they want to serve - unless, of course, your opinion is solicited. The way I look at it - are you going for the food or the company of your family? It's one meal. If what's being served is that big a deal, either bring it with you or stay home. I also think all the guests should offer to bring something and to let the host know what that is (to avoid the multiple green bean casserole issue) unless they decline. I don't know anyone would wouldn't appreciate some help.
I have a sister with a husband who had very definite feelings about what should and shouldn't be served at holiday meals, to the extent if the person hosting had or didn't have XYZ, he wouldn't come. My sister complained to me that our hosting family member wasn't having his desired entree. I told her that if it was that big a deal, she should bring whatever it was that he HAD to have and if she wanted to be gracious, bring enough so it could be shared. I'm a very picky eater and told her that I'd never been to a meal where I couldn't fill up on the things on the table that I liked, so I was sure he wouldn't starve.
Does everyone remember the episode of Friends when Monica was cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the group and everyone had different variations of the various dishes that it wouldn't be Thanksgiving unless they had.
One more thing - one holiday, we had both ham and turkey for my Mom, sisters & spouses and children - I think 11 of us. After dinner, my sister pulled out our loaf of bread and made herself and her husband multiple sandwiches for their lunch the next day. Mom and both sisters started packing up leftover. The next day, I went to get out the ham and turkey for our lunch and discovered they'd taken it ALL, leaving us not one slice. I couldn't believe it - the leftovers from a whole spiral sliced ham and a whole turkey. You can bet the next year I made sure to pack up OUR leftovers and put them out of sight in the vegetable drawer.
If I was the OP, I think I'd be tempted to tell the family members that since you didn't think they were coming, you made other plans.
I can not make gravy to save my life. My last attempt at gravy was horrible. Thank goodness I had a back up jar of gravy to use because we would have been gravyless that year otherwise. Everything else I make turns out really well.
I make homemade mashed potatoes, mac & cheese and stuffing/dressing. I also bake crescent rolls (not homemade).
Asparagus and green beans are the veggies. I'll serve canned cranberry sauce.
Nothing I make is that hard to make, it's more a matter of there being so many different dishes and timing it all so that everything is hot when served.
Your dinner sounds delish.....
gravy is easy. make sure you have enough liquid in the bottom of the roasting pan. sometimes the turkey packaging will tell you how much water to put in the bottom. Water mixes with the fat from the turkey. That's your base. And people have to leave you alone while you do this!!
Remove turkey to the side and any chunky stuff in your base. Keep the liquid in the roasting pan. Make a rue....1 to 1 1/2 cups...just so you have enough. Bring the liquid to a boil on the stovetop and slowly add the rue.....stir continually with a whisk....keeps it from sticking to the pan as well as keeps it smooth and brings it to the proper consistency. Once my consistency is good, I add Kitchen Boquet, little by little. Adds color and a bit of salt and flavor. Keep tasting as you go. Once you reach 'flavor' it's done. Strain to a small warming pot. voila. 15-20 mins top and worth it
Try it sometime.
gravy is easy. make sure you have enough liquid in the bottom of the roasting pan. sometimes the turkey packaging will tell you how much water to put in the bottom. Water mixes with the fat from the turkey. That's your base. And people have to leave you alone while you do this!!
Remove turkey to the side and any chunky stuff in your base. Keep the liquid in the roasting pan. Make a rue....1 to 1 1/2 cups...just so you have enough. Bring the liquid to a boil on the stovetop and slowly add the rue.....stir continually with a whisk....keeps it from sticking to the pan as well as keeps it smooth and brings it to the proper consistency. Once my consistency is good, I add Kitchen Boquet, little by little. Adds color and a bit of salt and flavor. Keep tasting as you go. Once you reach 'flavor' it's done. Strain to a small warming pot. voila. 15-20 mins top and worth it
Try it sometime.
Sounds great and I know what you mean, but please describe the rue (or roux) and how you make it. Some might have difficulty finding it online.
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and the bird cooks more quickly when it is unstuffed. That is the 'starch.' Sometimes I will make a sweet potato or yam side - small!!! - but generally not anymore, OR i put them in with the veggies I roast. 
