Thanksgiving: I do what I do, if you don't like it don't come (community, celebrate)
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After being haranged by her Sister for not roasting a full Turkey (our household only likes white meat), for making the Stuffing in a casserole dish or on top of the stove, for only having one vegetable, and only two pies, my wife finally had enough!
For weeks now her Siblings have said they were not coming to our house for Thanksgiving, so my wife planned the menu for her and I and ample left-overs. Now realizing my wife will not be pressured into cooking a multi course meal and transporting it 2+ hours so they can gorge themselves with zero effort or cost, the four of them might be traveling to our house.
Assuming any of them will allow their car to be used for the 300 mile round trip, or someone will pay for the gas, or someone will drive, etc.
Our family has never had the drama others have had regarding holidays or anything else -- we are all very polite to one another 99% of the time -- but that being said, although I do miss not having any family at holidays, I am very happy to enjoy the holidays EXACTLY as my husband and I like to celebrate them without any worry about pleasing anyone but ourselves.
Last edited by katharsis; 11-10-2021 at 03:02 PM..
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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I'm sorry to hear of your holiday drama, it's sad when a great holiday is ruined that way. We normally have 12 at our house for Thanksgiving and I do all of the cooking. It's a lot of work, with a certain amount of stress getting everything done well and on time, but very satisfying to sit down and eat. The family are all very helpful with dishes and putting away leftovers after. We missed the 2020 dinner due to Covid before anyone had been vaccinated, so we're looking forward to this year with everyone back.
Where I live we started to partake of the free "home made" Thanksgiving dinner that the town puts on. It was always held at the community center but they didn't have it last year. They get about four huge turkeys, they have all the traditional foods, and the last time they did it dh won a free pumpkin pie to take home! A lot of the people from our age restricted apartment complex go so we see our neighbors, and it's all stress free. Just go back home and relax.
When our family was young we use to go visit my wife's cousins in another state so our kids could get to know their extended family. As our children grew older and started family's of their own we started to do our own thanksgiving at our house. My mom and dad lived close by so they would join in as well. My parents are in a memory care facility now and my daughter has offered to host thanksgiving at her place these past two years. My son and his new bride join us as well. We all pass around a menu a couple weeks prior and choose which dish we all want to bring. So much easier when everyone chooses to spread the labor and joy. Cheers!
I do feel your pain MI-Roger. You made the first step. Now you need decide which way to go from here - have them make a decision to come or not to come or wing it.
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