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The financial problems for women at retirement aren't due to their generation or era either. I know of women in their 20's, 30's and 40's all the way up to their 80's who have the same mindset that they'll be taken care of by their man. I can provide numerous examples of women who should be thinking about their security and preparing for their futures but aren't. One woman in her 70's is married (second marriage) but her husband never put her name on the deed to the house (which he had before the marriage) or on assets that he inherited during the marriage, and supposedly willed these things to his sibling not to her, because he doesn't want her to give the money to her children from her previous marriage. They haven't been married too long and she only contributes in a minor way to the overall household expenses. Her "plan" if he dies is to get an apartment or perhaps move in with children temporarily. Another woman I know in her 40's has been living with a man for 15 years and her name isn't on the deed either. She wiped out the bulk of her savings during the move across the country with him. Perhaps both women would have been better off cutting the umbilical cord to their men long ago and working up a financial plan of action for themselves.
The gist is that women still have the mindset of dependency. No matter what the feminists say about equality and independence, I don't see that this is something women REALLY want.
Personally I think it's a holdover of being Mommy and Daddy's little girl more than a generation/era issue. To me it's not an adult frame of mind, not an adult mindset. My mother was a traditional stay-at-home housewife and never worked outside the home yet I grew up with the mindset to create an independent, financially secure life for myself. My mother (and my father, actually) never put the idea in my head that I had to find a husband and get married to have a good life for myself. They encouraged me to get an education and work hard. I am financially secure in retirement because I did those things. I didn't expect an attractive face and body to buy me a house and car.
The financial problems for women at retirement aren't due to their generation or era either. I know of women in their 20's, 30's and 40's all the way up to their 80's who have the same mindset that they'll be taken care of by their man. I can provide numerous examples of women who should be thinking about their security and preparing for their futures but aren't. One woman in her 70's is married (second marriage) but her husband never put her name on the deed to the house (which he had before the marriage) or on assets that he inherited during the marriage, and supposedly willed these things to his sibling not to her, because he doesn't want her to give the money to her children from her previous marriage. They haven't been married too long and she only contributes in a minor way to the overall household expenses. Her "plan" if he dies is to get an apartment or perhaps move in with children temporarily. Another woman I know in her 40's has been living with a man for 15 years and her name isn't on the deed either. She wiped out the bulk of her savings during the move across the country with him. Perhaps both women would have been better off cutting the umbilical cord to their men long ago and working up a financial plan of action for themselves.
The gist is that women still have the mindset of dependency. No matter what the feminists say about equality and independence, I don't see that this is something women REALLY want.
Personally I think it's a holdover of being Mommy and Daddy's little girl more than a generation/era issue. To me it's not an adult frame of mind, not an adult mindset. My mother was a traditional stay-at-home housewife and never worked outside the home yet I grew up with the mindset to create an independent, financially secure life for myself. My mother (and my father, actually) never put the idea in my head that I had to find a husband and get married to have a good life for myself. They encouraged me to get an education and work hard. I am financially secure in retirement because I did those things. I didn't expect an attractive face and body to buy me a house and car.
I also think a lot of women really don't want to make it on their own. Why? Because full time employment is HARD. It's hard to get up every day and grind out a work day. Day in and day out, for 40+ years, no real breaks. Think about it--this is what men do. They don't get to take maternity leave or work part time. My married girlfriend worked part time for 30 years while I was doing 12-14 hour work days. If she weren't married, she wouldn't be able to get away with part time employment to support herself. I was warming up my car and on the road by 6:30 AM every morning in the snow and sleet and putting in 12-14 hour work days while a lot of married women were snug in their beds waiting for the alarm to go off at 8 AM. There's just no comparison. If a woman is struggling financially in retirement, well, you either pay when you're young and work your butt off or you pay when you're old and struggle financially...
Men today can get paternity leave from their employers. So, that assertion is out the window.
Now, to your other point, our society allows and encourages women to "not make it on their own." Yes, there are some women that don't want to work. They have a ready made excuse of being a SAHM. Also, there is still a high percentage of men who are intimidated by working women and/or believe working women are destroying families. So, the "blame" can go hand in hand in some cases.
I also think a lot of women really don't want to make it on their own. Why? Because full time employment is HARD. It's hard to get up every day and grind out a work day. Day in and day out, for 40+ years, no real breaks. Think about it--this is what men do. They don't get to take maternity leave or work part time. My married girlfriend worked part time for 30 years while I was doing 12-14 hour work days. If she weren't married, she wouldn't be able to get away with part time employment to support herself. I was warming up my car and on the road by 6:30 AM every morning in the snow and sleet and putting in 12-14 hour work days while a lot of married women were snug in their beds waiting for the alarm to go off at 8 AM. There's just no comparison. If a woman is struggling financially in retirement, well, you either pay when you're young and work your butt off or you pay when you're old and struggle financially...
Seriously...how old are you and do you live under a rock? I've been working full time for 30+ years, so far! Yeah, every day - what's the big deal? I always knew that after college I'd be working full time - that's uhmmm, the reason I went to college!
And no, I don't work overtime - that's a whole other issue. You do get comped for that and could change jobs if you don't like it.
I think you've picked women who fall into the category you want them to - there are PLENTY of women working full time - not just in THIS decades but many decades before, as well.
The financial problems for women at retirement aren't due to their generation or era either. I know of women in their 20's, 30's and 40's all the way up to their 80's who have the same mindset that they'll be taken care of by their man. I can provide numerous examples of women who should be thinking about their security and preparing for their futures but aren't. One woman in her 70's is married (second marriage) but her husband never put her name on the deed to the house (which he had before the marriage) or on assets that he inherited during the marriage, and supposedly willed these things to his sibling not to her, because he doesn't want her to give the money to her children from her previous marriage. They haven't been married too long and she only contributes in a minor way to the overall household expenses. Her "plan" if he dies is to get an apartment or perhaps move in with children temporarily. Another woman I know in her 40's has been living with a man for 15 years and her name isn't on the deed either. She wiped out the bulk of her savings during the move across the country with him. Perhaps both women would have been better off cutting the umbilical cord to their men long ago and working up a financial plan of action for themselves.
The gist is that women still have the mindset of dependency. No matter what the feminists say about equality and independence, I don't see that this is something women REALLY want.
Personally I think it's a holdover of being Mommy and Daddy's little girl more than a generation/era issue. To me it's not an adult frame of mind, not an adult mindset. My mother was a traditional stay-at-home housewife and never worked outside the home yet I grew up with the mindset to create an independent, financially secure life for myself. My mother (and my father, actually) never put the idea in my head that I had to find a husband and get married to have a good life for myself. They encouraged me to get an education and work hard. I am financially secure in retirement because I did those things. I didn't expect an attractive face and body to buy me a house and car.
poster smt1111 may not be far off if referring to women born in the Silent Generation if they are of that age group.
I'm a boomer and I started working at 16 and only took off 3 months when I had my son and then p/t for 6 months.
Most women I know my age also worked their entire lives but I find that older women (Silent Generation) I've met were more stay-at-home types and let their husbands do all the financial stuff.
It's probably due to generational expectations. FWIW I'm 64.
A man who is looking to be a husband? He would actually avoid the “independent woman”. Such a woman would typically find it very difficult to be a wife who accepts her husband as the leader of the family. Smart men avoid this headache by not pursuing such women.
Well, then that all works out, because smart women avoid like the plague men who demand that "their" women "accept them as leaders."
... A man who is looking to be a husband? He would actually avoid the “independent woman”. Such a woman would typically find it very difficult to be a wife who accepts her husband as the leader of the family. Smart men avoid this headache by not pursuing such women.
At one time in my life, I was this guy.
When I was 21, for some weird reason I decided that I wanted to find a wife.
I was working in a careerfield where everyone was divorced. Marriages are extremely short lived. The best that I was able to analyze why we had such a high divorce rate, was because most of the guys fell for girls they met at bars.
You could get married, setup an apartment together, put her on the Joint checking account, but then very little time remains before the next deployment.
We would deploy for four months and the next time that we surface, in the mail bags there would always be huge piles of incoming mail. Past due notices for bills that were never paid, Credit Card bills for maxxed out credit cards, and divorce in 'absentia' notices.
Men who marry dependent women, become divorced men in short order.
You can take a party girl out away from the party, but you can never take the party out of a party girl.
I made a list of what qualities I wanted in a bride. I prayed about that list. and the next girl that I dated was a very independent lady. When I was courting her, she told me one time that she had no need for a man in her life [outside of socially].
She was working and supporting herself. At that point she had relocated herself, by herself, to a different state, twice.
When I found out the boat I was on was going to change homeport to another state, I asked her if she would be willing to move to that state, and when I surfaced there then we could live together. She agree, and three weeks ago was our fortieth anniversary.
I served on subs for 20 years, I have served with hundreds of other men, during that time I knew of two long-term marriages. Long-term marriages among sub crewmen can only work if the female is very independent.
After I retired, I finally had the opportunity to live with my wife full time. Up to that time, I was generally just a visitor in her house.
We were married 20 years before we got the chance to live together full time.
poster smt1111 may not be far off if referring to women born in the Silent Generation if they are of that age group.
I'm a boomer and I started working at 16 and only took off 3 months when I had my son and then p/t for 6 months.
Most women I know my age also worked their entire lives but I find that older women (Silent Generation) I've met were more stay-at-home types and let their husbands do all the financial stuff.
It's probably due to generational expectations. FWIW I'm 64.
No. That poster is also talking about the younger generations.
Quote:
. I know of women in their 20's, 30's and 40's all the way up to their 80's who have the same mindset that they'll be taken care of by their man. I can provide numerous examples of women who should be thinking about their security and preparing for their futures but aren't.
That poster must be travelling in some pretty strange circles. Their ideas are archaic.
The gist is that women still have the mindset of dependency. No matter what the feminists say about equality and independence, I don't see that this is something women REALLY want.
Personally I think it's a holdover of being Mommy and Daddy's little girl more than a generation/era issue. To me it's not an adult frame of mind, not an adult mindset. My mother was a traditional stay-at-home housewife and never worked outside the home yet I grew up with the mindset to create an independent, financially secure life for myself. My mother (and my father, actually) never put the idea in my head that I had to find a husband and get married to have a good life for myself. They encouraged me to get an education and work hard. I am financially secure in retirement because I did those things. I didn't expect an attractive face and body to buy me a house and car.
I'm nearly speechless. You could not be further from the truth. What a completely clueless and inane post.
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