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Never thought I would say this but at 43 I experience chronic pain and joint aches that (already) affect my mobility. It started in my early 30's. A PT told me my ligaments are loose and I will have to keep my muscles, especially core, strong if I want to avoid falls and hip fractures as I age. I need to get on that now and not put it off another decade (or two).
I think there is more to it. I think in the least I've got fibromyalgia. Mom had it along with connective tissue disorder (rheumatic ailment).
Otherwise, I'm feeling good about our finances... dementia doesn't worry me because I would no longer be me by the time it's advanced.
I have FM, along side of my RA. I took Lyrica for a couple years but hated the weight gain, the other meds gave me side effects that were too severe.
But same as the RA, lots of exercise and stretching keep it at bay.
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But if you went dementia, you'd not realize it as the "You" now, won't exist anymore. But I totally agree on the stroke.
The "you" that you were exists for a long time with dementia, and is completely frustrated and angry about what is happening to "you". At long last, if they have loving people to care for them, some find peace trusting others to shoulder the burden of their lost memories.
My MIL fought it for a long time, but eventually she understood that we there to take care of everything and she could just trust and relax for her last couple years. She actually became much sweeter than she'd ever been because she realized that we were always on her side, and always there to catch her when she mentally stumbled.
I don't get that. GO somewhere and DO something. Do you have a vehicle? No hobbies?? Join a group. Take a class. Are you depressed?
Your response is similar to telling a depressed person to cheer up and just smile. Loss involves grief and grieving.
People are different and I understand the dramatic feeling of loss when one has planned and dreamed about their retirement. All that was dreamt is gone.
People grieve for lost dreams just as they grieve for lost partners.
Don't tell them to just "join a group". That's not helpful. Grieving is a process that must be endured, not ignored.
I do not understand "nothing to do". There aren't enough years left to read all the books I want to read, write the stories I want to write, or time to just be outside and watch nature, take walks, or ten million other things. How can there be nothing to do?
Also there can't be "nowhere to go", although admittedly there are restrictions right now depending on your comfort level. There are parks and places to go where you won't be exposed to germy people.
No one to do it with is different. I've been in that position and learned to do things alone.
See my prior comment. Grieving for lost dreams is real grief.
My worst fear would be some sort of progressive illness that took away my ability to move and communicate, and to end up physically dependent on others for everything, including my personal care (bathroom stuff).
A neighbor/friend recently ended up in the hospital with serious gastro infection, and he was so weak he couldn't stand or lift himself. He said it was the most humiliating experience ever to have total strangers clean up his mess and wipe his bum like an infant.
BOL to all retirees!
Interesting replies in this thread. Fear of health decline is exactly why I work out 3X a week. I saw a group of oldsters in Florida who dropped an empty cup on the floor. There was not a single one of them who could pick it up! Finally, one old guy grabs his buddy's belt and they use the table for support as the guy went for it.
My workout routine takes an hour and is expressly designed to prevent that sort of immobility.
I've already had the heart bypass. It was not near as bad as you might imagine.
Your response is similar to telling a depressed person to cheer up and just smile. Loss involves grief and grieving.
People are different and I understand the dramatic feeling of loss when one has planned and dreamed about their retirement. All that was dreamt is gone.
People grieve for lost dreams just as they grieve for lost partners.
Don't tell them to just "join a group". That's not helpful. Grieving is a process that must be endured, not ignored.
No, it's not. He did not say he was "grieving" over anything, Did he lose someone? Maybe I missed that.
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