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I've lived in RI 6 years now and haven't made any friends. I am a foreigner, but I speak English fluently. I was told that I will make friends when the kids go to school... They are at school now-older one is in the 4th grade... and still no friends. Is there something wrong with me? Are there any rules or tricks to make friends here in RI? Let me know if someone has any helpful advice.
R.I. is not the easiest place to make friends, partly because most of us have lived here all our lives and have built up friendships over 20 years, and have extended families here as well.
You might try joining clubs or organizations. For example, if you go to the gym every day, or play tennis at one of the indoor clubs, you'll start meeting people.
Church groups might also work.
I can't speak for RI specifically but unfortunately it's hard to make friends in a lot of places, people are busy, time is limited, some people keep to themselves and can be somewhat cliquey etc. It wasnt til I worked that I made friends and even then, it was a while before we really got together out of the office and it was (and still is) very sporadic at times. Volunteering is another way to get to know people and make friends (some ways of volunteering are more outgoing than others). Another way would be going to meetup.com and putting in your zip code and interests and see if there's any groups in your local area that you might be interested in.
Bring the kids to the playground or get a dog and take it for walks through parks and stuff. Attend a lot of your kid's school functions and you'll probly meet lots of other parents. And as someone mentioned, I always meet people at the gym!
It's definitely hard to make friends around here if you haven't lived here your whole life. My advice is to look for other people who are from somewhere else who might be in the same boat. I've also made a number of friends by being involved in my kid's scouting activities.
I understand. It is a bit difficult to make new friends in RI. The friends I have now I met in high school. I went of to college in RI and really didnt make any additional new friends. I imagine if I came to RI as an adult or an older teenager it would be tougher to make friends here.
I've made most of my friends through Scouting (my sons are active) and the other Dad's have similar interests to mine.
RI is small- I started talking to a gent I met in the middle of the woods while hunting. He lives next door to my supervisor from work, his wife knows my wife and her family from childhood, etc etc etc....a lot easier to break the ice that way.
I read your post and I felt compelled to respond. I grew up in Providence and I still have much family there. I have lived in Florida, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Jersey, NYC (Manhattan) and now Michigan. Michigan is the ONLY place where I have ever had trouble making friends...been here 3 years and I do NOT have one friend.
To me, Michigan is VERY, VERY similar to Rhode Island in many ways.
Pertaining to friendships and meeting people, another poster stated it so well. There is nothing wrong with you, I'm sure. But Rhode Island, like Michigan, is very insular in many ways. People have not moved around to different places and relocated, to and fro, the way you might see people doing so in other states and other parts of the country.
Therefore, many people still have several family members present with whom they spend lots of time. Even elementary, middle school or high school friends may be around, along with long-time acquaintances who still live nearby, etc etc...which is great. Except that I believe this aspect makes people much less interested in welcoming "outsiders," as the need & desire to do so is greatly lessened 'cause folks are already connected (and busy with their lives).
As another poster also mentioned, I, too tried a few "Meet Up Groups" here in Michigan, which were good. While the particular ones I attended didn't work out for me, I think I will continue to try a few others.
Also, while this might sound a bit strange, volunteering a few hours a month (if you have the time to do so, I know you have young children) may work 'cause you might meet people through volunteer work who are a bit more disenfranchised and also looking for new friends. That's what I'm going to do in the very near future...volunteer some time.
Best wishes to you...I know how you feel, it stinks. Plus, I do not have children, so meeting folks that way, through schools et al, isn't an alternative for me.
Good luck.
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Are there any rules or tricks to make friends here in RI? Let me know if someone has any helpful advice.
I can relate to you...
