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Thread summary:

Los Angeles resident scared to move to Rochester, seeking advice on getting out of LA rut, cost of living too high in California, no friends

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Old 01-20-2009, 01:14 PM
 
201 posts, read 600,360 times
Reputation: 189

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Hello everyone. After much consideration I decided to join this site and get some advice from anyone who is willing to help and thank you in advance to those who listen and lend their advice. I apologize if this is long-winded, but I am considering many different things.

The back story is that I am a 25 year old male and was born in Rochester, NY as was my mother, father and all of my family. When my mother and father got divorced when I was not even a year old my mom and I moved to Los Angeles, CA, where I have lived after their divorce until now. Every winter for Christmas my mom and I travel back to Rochester for usually 3 weeks to spend time with our family and we have been doing this since I was a baby. We have about 60 family members all together who we are VERY close with and we love it when we come on vacation.

Let me make a long story short and tell you that life in Los Angeles does not work. I don't mean to sound negative, but it's awful living for me. The stress is insane and I simply cannot deal with it. My mom and I live in a 950 square foot apartment in a bad area because it's all we can afford and it still costs $1800 each month out the door... you heard me. As far as other things go there are constant murders in the area and I blame most of it on the immigration situation going on. Also, I don't have many friends. After 20 years of knowing a friend, the other day he stole $25 from me. This type of stuff is too much to handle.

It is a also a large priority of mine to become a family man. I want nothing more than to meet a nice girl and create a family. While living in Los Angeles I have had nothing but terrible luck with women. I know we have all had it bad at one point or another with the opposite sex, but when I do come home to NY I find women to be more wholesome, they seem to have their heads on straight and they're just better people. I have been on several dates while on vacation and starting a relationship seems to be an easy thing to do. I want my partner to be loyal and it seems that LA people are only loyal to themselves.

I have applied to Brockport University and was accepted into their Master's program, which is a plus for me. Finally, I would have a huge support team from my family. I don't know if this is important, but I am the grandson of Joe Goldman, owner of Lilac Laundry.

To conclude, LA life is bad. However, I have gotten into the complaint that some people find themselves in. I am comfrotable. As terrrible as it is, I know where things are located and I know how to get there. My question is, should I break out of my negative state of living and attempt happiness? What are your thoughts? Thank you so much for your help.

I know many people will talk about the weather. My belief is that if your life is fulfilling and has a lot of love in it, weather is not really a considerable issue. I would much rather have 4 months of clouds depress me over people who I've known all my life and can't trust.

Please help and thank you again. I am very nervous about all of this. For reference, we are looking at the Brighton and Henrietta areas.

Last edited by STP554987; 01-20-2009 at 01:33 PM..
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Old 01-20-2009, 01:41 PM
 
5,265 posts, read 15,409,510 times
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Well...it sounds like you have already made up your mind! If you are miserable in LA which has "perfect" weather than clearly the weather isn't what's most important to you. It sounds like you have a lot of people close to you who live in Rochester, and you like the community feel/vibe here (I'm with you 100% and those are the two main reasons we were very happy to move our family back to Rochester from NC last summer). Cost of living is definitely much much lower here than in LA (or anywhere in CA probably) and I'm sure for the same you are paying to rent a 950 sq ft apartment you could own a 2000+ sq ft house here in Rochester. If you are going to school in Brockport then Henrietta and Brighton might be a little far away. You may want to consider Greece, Hilton, or Spencerport. Either way it sounds like you have a pretty sound plan and would be happier in Rochester than in LA...so good luck and welcome home!!!

EDIT; Also, if you have only been to Rochester during winter you will be pleasantly surprised with our late spring, summer, and fall. It's b-e-a-utiful here then!
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Old 01-20-2009, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Rochester, NY
1,293 posts, read 4,525,679 times
Reputation: 362
We will all welcome you!

The mortgage and taxes of a house in the city will probably be less than half of what you are paying for an apartment now. I'm not saying what I pay, but it costs as much as our apartment did in NC.

I moved from NC also and so far we are much happier. My wife and I both have decent jobs and a house on the east side of the city, we are both thankful for that.

As far as a city in Upstate NY, Rochester has the second largest economy outside of NYC and there are still a decent amount of job oportunities.
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Old 01-21-2009, 05:26 PM
 
1,020 posts, read 1,257,535 times
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Hi, Samuel- I can so relate to your post because I moved to Rochester from New Orleans when I was 26. Unlike you, though, I did not have a lot of family but just a couple of friends. Like you, I felt I was at a crossroads in my life & if I didn't move across the country then, I likely never would. I was unhappy with the poor public education system, racial tension and general backwardness of Louisiana & moved to Rochester pretty much on a whim. I knew I could always go back if things didn't work out.

Well, I am so glad I took the plunge, because I have been here for 23 plus years. I found a great job & a great spouse. I have a nice house in an eastern suburb and a summer cottage on Lake Ontario. (We are definitely middle class.) I believe that this area of the country is a wonderful place to raise children because of some of the qualities in folks here that you mentioned. I decided a long time ago that I would NOT be raising children in the deep South. So, my prediction is that your life will take a turn for the better if you come here. Best of luck to you with whatever you decide.
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Old 01-22-2009, 03:50 PM
 
14 posts, read 65,177 times
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Hi Samuel,

Know what you are going through - I'm originally from Los Angeles (lived there most of my life) and moved to Rochester about 18 months ago for many of the reasons you've mentioned. I didn't know anyone here, but had visited a few times and decided to take the chance for what seemed to be a far better quality of life.

I wasn't mistaken and living in Rochester is the best!! Within about three days of being here, the stress of living in LA will start to fade. Within a week, you will stop driving as if your whole life depended on keeping one more person from merging in front of you. Driving 10 miles will only take 10-15 minutes and you will have to completely readjust your mental time clock about getting somewhere -- It's fantastic!!

Rochester is a beautiful, historic city, located in one of the most beautiful states around. Coming from LA, I'm guessing that you won't get sick of the open space and lush countryside all around you here. I am constantly amazed by the natural beauty everywhere.

People here are nice -- sure people are people and there are some bad ones here too, but overall there is much more of a sense of community and taking care of each other that really disappeared from LA in the 1980s.

Real estate and apartment rentals are still affordable and there is always something interesting going on. Grocery prices will be a nice surprise and even the electricity/water prices are substantially lower.

As far as the weather is concerned, quite honestly unless you can afford to live near the beach, LA weather is too hot for my taste. Some years it would start climbing near 90 in April/May and stay there for 6 months. This is my second winter here, and it's really not all that bad. A beautiful day in Rochester (and there are a lot of them) is so much nicer than a good day in LA because the air is clean and everything is green (or white) and not brown. I don't miss the extreme heat and smog at all. There really are four distinct seasons here and they each have their beauty. Thunderstorms are awesome.

In a nutshell, moving to Rochester was one of the best things I've ever done and I only wish I'd been brave enough to leave the familiar sooner. The quality of life here is fantastic.

Good luck with your decision!
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Old 01-22-2009, 06:47 PM
 
5,265 posts, read 15,409,510 times
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Anniebird...we wish we had more people like you who had moved here sooner as well!
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Old 01-23-2009, 05:24 PM
 
4,897 posts, read 7,700,411 times
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my friend, just about anywhere is better than LA...get out of that place!
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Old 02-03-2009, 11:02 PM
 
Location: Rochester, NY
9 posts, read 29,671 times
Reputation: 19
My sister moved from Rochester to an area near LA. She moved back here and is happy with her decision.
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Old 02-06-2009, 12:42 PM
 
201 posts, read 600,360 times
Reputation: 189
Thank you friends. You have made the decision a "no-brainer" See you in March!
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Old 02-07-2009, 12:58 PM
 
3 posts, read 7,364 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by SamuelBrock77 View Post
Hello everyone. After much consideration I decided to join this site and get some advice from anyone who is willing to help and thank you in advance to those who listen and lend their advice. I apologize if this is long-winded, but I am considering many different things.

The back story is that I am a 25 year old male and was born in Rochester, NY as was my mother, father and all of my family. When my mother and father got divorced when I was not even a year old my mom and I moved to Los Angeles, CA, where I have lived after their divorce until now. Every winter for Christmas my mom and I travel back to Rochester for usually 3 weeks to spend time with our family and we have been doing this since I was a baby. We have about 60 family members all together who we are VERY close with and we love it when we come on vacation.

Let me make a long story short and tell you that life in Los Angeles does not work. I don't mean to sound negative, but it's awful living for me. The stress is insane and I simply cannot deal with it. My mom and I live in a 950 square foot apartment in a bad area because it's all we can afford and it still costs $1800 each month out the door... you heard me. As far as other things go there are constant murders in the area and I blame most of it on the immigration situation going on. Also, I don't have many friends. After 20 years of knowing a friend, the other day he stole $25 from me. This type of stuff is too much to handle.

It is a also a large priority of mine to become a family man. I want nothing more than to meet a nice girl and create a family. While living in Los Angeles I have had nothing but terrible luck with women. I know we have all had it bad at one point or another with the opposite sex, but when I do come home to NY I find women to be more wholesome, they seem to have their heads on straight and they're just better people. I have been on several dates while on vacation and starting a relationship seems to be an easy thing to do. I want my partner to be loyal and it seems that LA people are only loyal to themselves.

I have applied to Brockport University and was accepted into their Master's program, which is a plus for me. Finally, I would have a huge support team from my family. I don't know if this is important, but I am the grandson of Joe Goldman, owner of Lilac Laundry.

To conclude, LA life is bad. However, I have gotten into the complaint that some people find themselves in. I am comfrotable. As terrrible as it is, I know where things are located and I know how to get there. My question is, should I break out of my negative state of living and attempt happiness? What are your thoughts? Thank you so much for your help.

I know many people will talk about the weather. My belief is that if your life is fulfilling and has a lot of love in it, weather is not really a considerable issue. I would much rather have 4 months of clouds depress me over people who I've known all my life and can't trust.

Please help and thank you again. I am very nervous about all of this. For reference, we are looking at the Brighton and Henrietta areas.
Hi:
I've lived in Rochester my entire life and I have to say that I cannot wait to get out. Yes the winters are long and cold. The property taxes are ridiculous. I've visited areas in the southeast, and you can get a very nice home for a decent price and not the taxes you have here. Rochester has no downtown scene. Even with their plans for "renaissance Square", I highly doubt it will change anything. There are no good concerts that come here either. I've had enough of my birthplace.
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