Moving to Rochester (Buffalo, Syracuse, Greece: real estate, credit, how much)

[mattsmall1972]

No real questions here, just an account of who I am and what I'm doing. I'd like to hear your opinions on it.

I've lived in the south (SC, NC, FL) most of my life, but always reminisce about the wonderful summers I spent with my grandmother in Central Square, NY. I even lived there with her a bit for school during my early childhood. After spending six years in the USMC at Camp Lejeune, NC, then eight years in Myrtle Beach (where my father is originally is from) working and going to college, I landed a terrific job in Charlotte, where I've lived for the past four years. My problem is, I hate Charlotte.

Charlotte in one word (to me) - BORING. I'm used to being around family, used to seeing people that I know when I go places. I love being a part of a community, but Charlotte just doesn't seem to have any for me. My life consists of going to work, driving home, and that's about it. My drive takes about 35-40 minutes each way during off-peak hours. Charlotte's mall culture just isn't something that is attractive to the wife and I, and eating out for excitement has gotten old and expensive. This is a land of new generic stores, beautiful expensive homes, foreign vehicles, and little substance.

I've been involved in church, but it hasn't really taken. My one great hobby, boating, is unexciting on the two lakes in the area, which are mudpuddles now anyway...

I love the work I do (tech support), but everybody just goes their separate directions at the end of the day.

Our parents both live 2.5 hours away, and neither set ever comes to visit. It might as well be 5000 miles. But we're expected to make the trek down every time they summon us.

So now that you've heard the sob story, let's get to the heart of the matter. Wife and I have decided to move to Rochester.

Wife and I are considering having kids within the next couple of years, but I just can't fathom trying to raise children without the help of family. I have an aunt and uncle that we are very close to and live in Webster - my aunt is only 10 years older than me, and is more like a sister. Her family is mostly grown. She would be thrilled to have us move to the area and start having kids.

I've been interviewing with a company in Henrietta, but the pay is slghtly less than what I make now. I figure that the low housing costs can level it out, but the property taxes are insane and almost completely negate the benefit.

I've lived in the south a long time, and love heat. I'm concerned that the winter might get to me. But I think that having the family around will more than offset the fact that winters are harsh.

I remember NY having such a wonderful sense of community. I always felt that NY was "real life" - the parades down main street, kids played baseball with other kids down in the local park, you actually know your neighbors. The south never had that, not anywhere I lived (well, except Fl... that was a nice town we lived in).

I'm looking forward to living near the Finger Lakes Wine Country. I look forward to actual seasons. I look forward to my kids going to a school that actually teaches them things worth knowing... opportunities to go to Ivy League schools.. enjoying a safe community.

Am I crazy for thinking this? I see on these forums that many NYers come south only to miss home so bad they cant stand it. They miss the sense of community and earthiness of the people in NY. I want to live around those people myself. Even my native NC friends think that Charlotte is kind of snobby.

My aunt says that "it takes a village" to raise a child... I think she's right. My siblings with kids all have some sort of family nearby to help. Only we wouldn't if we lived here.

Anyway, I just needed to get some stuff off my chest. I read these forums frequently looking for inspiration. I hope to be up there by May or June, although there's no telling how long it's going to take to sell the house.

Let me know what you think.

[rochacha]

Welcome to Rochester. I do not know where you are interviewing, but you should be able to live comfortably in Rochester on a tech support salary, though maybe not necessarily in a new house or in Pittsford. If Webster is too pricey, look in West Irondequoit for good schools and reasonable housing prices. In Irondequoit, look north of Titus to make sure you are getting a good neighborhood.

[movingdown]

Hi!

My husband and I just moved to the Charlotte, NC area from Henrietta in August. We loved living in Rochester (except for the extreme winters) but we are retired, had no family left up there and wanted to see our new grandchild in Charlotte grow up.

I would encourage you to look at living in Henrietta as well as working there. The taxes are the lowest in the suburbs and there is a wide assortment of housing available. I am a retiree of the school system there and am very familiar with the good education your children could get from the schools as long as they put good effort into it. In fact in high school, a student can take courses at the University of Rochester or Rochester institute of Technology (RIT) tuition free! Both universities sit all or partially on the Rush-Henrietta district property, pay no school taxes and have an agreement to accept qualified juniors and seniors in their courses. Neighbors of mine have started college with over a year in college credits.

The Finger Lakes (wine country) are very close since Henrietta is in the southern part of Rochester. Beautiful country to boat in! Lots of water in those lakes!

I would encourage you not to move to the northern sections of Rochester unless you are working there because of the commute in the winter. While the expressways there are not as crazy as the Interstates in Charlotte, winter weather makes it more difficult.

Brighton and Pittsford have highly rated school districts but the taxes are more expensive. Henrietta has many students accepted at Ivy league schools and excellent Advanced Placement class opportunities.

You will also find food (in the food stores) less expensive in Rochester. I was surprised at the cost here.

Good luck with your decision.

[IfULivedHere]

Go for it, you were in the USMC so relocating probably is something ingrained. If you don't like move in a few years, you'll always find something in terms of work. I'll say one thing contradictory to you then I'll agree with you.

1) Strip malls and national chains are in just about every center of population in the US, that's what we've become. I grew up in Webster, what for years was just grass, wooded nothing is now a Lowes (5-mile Line and Rt 104) and a huge plaza with all sorts of "Everywhere US" stores (across from the Wegman's on Holt Rd and Rt 104). I'm not sure how you escape that.

2) I agree about that sense of community; no one seems to really catch onto this every time I point it out but the upstate cities all are surrounded by towns that each have town centers - villages. Each town is it's own functioning entity with schools, courts, police and fire departments, fireworks on the 4th of July, and those parades you remember. Your town is you community. I grew up in Webster - went to Webster Parks and Recs summer camps with kids from Webster, played Webster little league, ski trips, lacrosse camp, went to elementary school with some of those kids, and rejoined them in middle and high school. Point is always stayed within the town, I was raised with that sense of identity with my community. Fairport, Irondequoit, Greece, Pittsford, Rush/Henriettta kids all did that same thing in their own towns - to some degree it's even generational. But that's how things are structured in upstate - even the entire northeast. I live in northern Maryland know and I would say that for Maryland and Virginia (I would make the assumption about NC too) we don't have towns. We have zip codes. Our towns are really the equivalent of villages in upstate. Lowest level of true organization is the county. Bottom line, in Maryland your child could go to school anywhere the county decides to draw, or redraw, the boundaries. Kids do rec. activities in any "Rec Council" in their entire county - always pick the best when it comes to sports. When you ask someone from Maryland where they are from they say the closest city, then the county, then maybe if the other party is familiar with the region they then identify with the closest "town" - which is just a center of commerce. In NY people tell other people where they are from by city, then town - if the other person is familiar with the area. Very subtle but I see that as a huge difference.

I think one reason for this, and it's probably makes the Charlotte area very similar to the Baltimore region is that outside of those cities even 20-30 years ago there were still pretty rural. With the population explosions that have happened in the last 10-15 years up and down the I-95 corridor all of the sudden my little Forest Hill, it's just an area with a post office and it's own zip code - that's it; has the same population as a Webster which is a real functioning autonomous town. Everyone in my Forest Hill, and the next zip code over Fallston, and the next zip code over Churchville, and so on... comes to the closest "town" (plus the Pennsylvania people who tried to escape the high real estate) - Bel Air to go out to dinner, shop at the mall, go to the bank, go to the DMV, etc... The result - total chaos from the hours of 10:00am to 8pm Monday - Saturday. In contrast I find Rochester (to include suburbs) to be a ghost town - which I don't mean in a negative way. There are so many towns, and each has it's services that you almost never have to leave your own town to do any of those things, and oh by the way downtown Rochester is no more than about 15 mins from anywhere in Monroe county.

I think you'll find what you're looking for in Rochester but I'd caution you not to make your childhood memories your expectations; I always find my childhood memories to be more Norman Rockwell than what I come to realize as an adult.

I'll let you take this as it's worth, and in order not to make gross generalizations I won't expound. Rochester is no Boston, San Francisco, NYC, Phili, Chicago, or DC. But it's no Ft Rucker, Ft Bragg, or Yuma, AZ either. Those are certainly the extreme ends of the spectrum but I think Rochester probably fits nicely somewhere in between.

[mattsmall1972]

Lots of great information here. I especially appreciate the bullets.

About the strip malls - they don't bother me at all, my point was that Charlotte is just a series of strip malls built one after the other in proximity to a new subdivision. I love the convenience and the nice ones are great, but isn't there more to a hometown? Not very many mom and pop places around here. One that I do like is run by some people from Buffalo.

About the people - just today I was wearing a Syracuse U. pullover given to me by a relative. A guy serving the food at lunch was really friendly about it, wanting to know more about me because he's from Binghamton.. I was grumpy today (i go to work really early) and wasn't rude back to him, but wasn't nearly as friendly back as I could have been. It exactly this sort of friendliness that I crave from a place like Rochester. I need to learn how to respond to it. Staring at a computer monitor all day and lunch by yourself tends to make you solitary (nobody goes to lunch together where I work as we have to keep the phones manned at all times - its a tech support place).

I have thought about it, a city to which that people aren't moving isn't entirely bad... the traffic and urban sprawl are kept in check.

I have been worried about romanticizing my memories. But I keep those in check with my aunt telling me how much she loves where she lives.

I appreciate the info about Henrietta also. I think it's better to have a short drive to work every day as it will keep me sane.

Thanks for your insights. I hope to be up there in a couple of months.

[just_sayin']

You will DEFINITLEY notice that friendliness/neighborliness in Rochester and that is the number one thing I noticed in the difference in cultures between here and Raleigh NC while I lived down there. People here either know eachother thru family or friends (very tight knit community, especially in the older towns like Greece and Irondequoit) and if they don't know you they will talk to you anyways and try to get to know you. You know ALL of your neighbors, we have block parties. Everyone in the same neighborhood goes to the same school, which is close to that neighborhood (this sounds pretty simple and basic, but it is NOT the case in NC) so there is just a great overall sense of community that I found severely lacking in "the triangle".

[oceanluvva]

Hey there mattsmall1972, I moved back home from the south myself...i can relate with you on the 'big city' attitude and getting back into the 'earthiness' of it all up here. I sold real estate in the south and kinda scared to start back up here in roc just because of the market..at least you have a technical degree ; )

...i just went sledding with a friend of mine a couple weekends ago, and realized you just can't get that in the south. It reminded me of my childhood up here! So fun!! You're kids will love you for it!!

I was a little bored up here even with family b/c i was so used to all the restaurant choices, parks, etc...in the south...but, i think it's just a change---which humans don't really like. Eastview mall is really nice, so is the pittsford area-its upper class and filled with family stuff. Have fun moving...

Take care