Rural residents: What ticks you off about newcomers and/or tourists? (quiet, cow)

[TRlaura]

Born and raised in rural Maine and moved into rural Wisconsin after an educational stint in the big city.


I bought a piece of prime hunting property and was approached within the first month I lived here with a request for permission to hunt for deer on my land that I did grant. I did mention that I like to hunt a couple weekends a year and am typically done by mid October as soon as I can get just one. My only complaint is the season here runs from mid September through mid January and the guy is out there nearly every weekend and then some. Here it is late November and he has already shot 6 deer with 7 weeks left in the season. Next year I might ask him to pick any 1 month period and that will be all. My fault for not laying that all out in the beginning.


As far as tourists, quit feeding the dang seagulls on the beach. That's all.

[2mares]

Originally Posted by duster1979

So you think hosing the place down with Roundup would be better?

apparently some do. Did I mention my transplanted neighbor used roundup to kill the "ugly" grass along the gravel/chip and tar road and the "weeds" growing on the bank (jewel weed we us to make salve). Which of course washed into the stream when it rained. The intermittent stream that ultimately makes its way into wells.

[PriscillaVanilla]

Originally Posted by LauraC

But my favorite is newcomers who whine that the people living in the new place are stupid so they are moving again. Well, who's the stupid one who spent all of that money and uprooted their spouse and/or children to move to a place for which they were so ill-suited?

Right. We get tons of people like this in my city. Some of them have moved and lived in every state in the USA, uprooting their young children and continually putting them into new schools every year. They complain about everything wherever they move to; they're never happy anywhere.

[Minervah]

Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe

I lived in a really small town of 200 people in WA in the mountains. There were a few large dairies in the community. Some people moved into the area and then complained about the smell of the dairies. We used to joke about the smell when the wind would waft it into town and say "Ah, can you smell Joseph's money today?" (Joseph being a big dairy farmer in town).

But, some new people moved to town who had never lived in a rural community before and they tried to get laws passed regarding the smells, blah blah. It was just irritating and they didn't get their way. But, the main point is to try to fit in. If you move into a farming community that stinks part of the year because of fertilizing or turning under stinky crops that rot, etc., just see how the rest of the locals handle it.

This wouldn't actually apply to you, but I had a property that was right on the main two-lane highway to the national forest, and city people from Portland, OR would drive up to the forest for the day or weekend, and they'd bring their humanely-trapped mice with them to set free in the country.

What they didn't realize, was that when they pulled into the far road of my property, thinking they're in the country now, they'd get out of their cars on my property to let their mice loose on my property!! I can't tell you how many times I ran screaming at them like a banshee asking them if they want me to round up all of my critters and drop them on their front lawn! Or at least take them all the way into the dang national forest!

Basically, just think about what you do and how it might affect other people. And accept that people kill critters, and for good reason - they multiply. You'll soon learn to let go of loving mice and rats and squirrels and raccoons, etc., when they move into your house and your walls and your roof, etc., etc. And people also hunt for their food. And during deer or elk season, they may drive around with the dead head of their trophy on the front of their truck.

Just don't be quick to judge and observe how others behave. If they see you're not going to start complaining about stuff, and you're a good neighbor, they'll probably accept you just fine.

The other thing that people can get testy about in rural communities, is the property values going up because of people moving in who are retired or just have more money. What happens is, the locals get priced out of being able to buy local properties, and they can get upset about that and take it out on the new people who bought at inflated prices.

I promise you those morons were not either naive Portlanders or long time residents of Portland. I moved to Portland back in the 70's from Chicago because I liked it the way it was. Unfortunately, I lived through Portland's gentrification which began in the 90's where people did stupid things as you describe. That was when my cat took care of the mice and believe it or not some of those newly transplanted neighbors told me to keep her indoors because she was being "cruel" to them.

It isn't only rural areas that get overrun by these invaders, hyped up cities and city neighborhoods do too. Rural areas, I agree though, get the worst of it.

[Ghengis]

the way they took advantage of us. First, just one or two wanted permission to just pass through. Then they started shooting all the buffalo just to kill them and let them rot. Then they started putting up fences everywhere and wouldn't let us pass though. Then they started shooting us. Then they sent us to camps where they said we'd be happy...bastards.

[OpinionExperience]

Originally Posted by katharsis

Besides the obvious things like outright rudeness, driving aggressively, and having a superior attitude (either about themselves or the place they came from), what do city dwellers or suburbanites do that irritate you when they visit or move to your town?

I have reed several comments on this forum about how annoying some "outsiders" can be, and so I am wondering what newcomers and visitors should or shouldn't do when they are in rural areas. My husband and I have not encountered anyone who wasn't friendly and pleasant on our many driving trips and vacations to rural areas, but when we lived in rural Maine for three years, we didn't develop any friendships, either. So now that we have bought a lot in rural Wisconsin on which to build our retirement home in a couple of years, we just don't want to start off on the wrong foot by doing something that would offend or annoy our neighbors -- so thanks in advance for any advice!

Btw, we are friendly introverts, so the lack of friends didn't bother us a dozen years ago, but I do think that it would be nice to have at least some "friendly acquaintances" in our senior years.

P.S. The place we are moving to is a small town rather than a spread-out farming community or "a lot of nothing" kind of place; and it is middle-class, fairly affluent, and evenly split between Democrats and Republicans.

I saw that you gave Maine a try and had a similar experience as mine.

Maine is a beautiful state with a lot to offer and I always looked at the winters as a natural barrier to keep the state from getting over populated.

The down side was the similarity's of urban areas, drug use, rudeness and abusing that land. I thought I was moving to a state that didn't do drugs especially hard ones. I was in shock of how many people smoked pot. I steered away from all that stuff. How many abandoned vehicles and junk is on their property. I had people wanting to hunt on my property and got mad when I said no. He spewed some law that said he could. It was a small 4.5 acre lot with a stream and pond that my neighbors kids would play in. It was just convenient for him to hunt.

I moved to Maine from NJ and did not want to bring NJ with me. I loved all the local privately owned convince stores. The closer to earth life style and went out of my way to brush off all the transplant comments. It got to the point where you need to defend yourself. I volunteered, helped neighbors, drove slow, never compared where I was from and still was ostracized.

I have read a lot about people having similar experiences particularly in Maine. even the life long Mainers that I am friends with told me how Mainers could be. My grand mother is from Connecticut and we always had a tie to New England and was astatic to finally move to Maine.

So I suggest to be yourself and learn from your past experiences. After reading this thread you have a lot of good advise and you seem like a genuine person.

[BelleWashington]

Found this forum via searching up the words "people moving to small towns problems". Did this due to some issues our area and long time residents are experiencing with countless amounts of remote workers moving in. One article we found (that was picked up by an exorbitant amount of net outlets was full of blame for the long time residents, with little guidance for those who move to a "small town"
Link https://theconversation.com/why-do-s...ed-them-199984

Much of what profnot and others wrote resonated with us.(Sorry don't know how to use this forum hence just did a copy and paste of part of profnot's take.)
*"Don't become a committee member until you know people better. Small towns have a lot of gossips and petty people. Get the lay of the land and know where the unpleasant people are so you can spend time with the more interesting people instead."

Indeed we have our local color. The grump. The teetotaling values advisor. The founding family dominator. ... But in general those long time residents have and do (still) help the community in some good ways, and since they've been known for so long they're taken with a grain of salt.

In our case new residents were (no doubt) very warmly welcomed!! We were excited to see them purchase some of our favorite properties, renovate elderly homes, or tho not farmers take on a small farm (to which they were embraced and helped by long time local farmers). Happy to see them at the local watering hole, ... But it seems that some (several lofty types) decided that many aspects, people, groups and organizations (community help and sustainability based) are and have been doing many things wrong. And when approached with caution advice by locals, dug their heels in and explained (at length) how their ideas would improve the community (due their great resumes and experience in corp America). When in truth were causing locals to spend undue time soothing each other and trying to figure out ways to ease the tensions and keep some important focuses going.

Mind you while it is ONLY a small number of new residents rocking the boat, it's personalities that are highly dominating, seeking position, bought some of the most costly large properties and or have a high brow resume'.

What they don't understand is many of us also have histories and resume's that could put us on high. Some have ivy league diplomas, long time community and regional leadership history, military service, high paying jobs in the past or currently in a near by city, always leading up and helping to those in need...

In our area (consisting of 3 communities) we're experiencing hurt feelings, anger and frustration via several of these new ("well heeled") residents. Not surprising (based on personality) they don't know us, don't seem open to learning about us and apparently think we're a bunch of back wood hicks that need their professional help.

Examples:
> New resident announced at a community org meeting that (among various other things) it was a problem to not have a bigger online identity, more aggressive outreach, . ... Times have changed. ..." - THAT experience went so far south the individual will never recover from the insults offered.

> New resident who took a board membership with charity announced that a program where residents donated (new or gently used clean) items to local and regional people in need, was un-productive and financial donations would be more effective. - It was already true that many citizens in the communities did (simply) donate money or gift cards. - In the end (once the truth came out) it boiled down to the time it took to sort through the donations to insure quality and organizing time to distribute to local people and appropriate regional orgs...

> New resident bought a large building, renovated it (beautifully) and turned it into a VERY expensive Air B&B. THIS is the 3rd time a building, duplex or house in our area with small and medium affordable apartments/homes has been lost. (We are near a major ski, hiking and mountain biking area hence Air B&B's can do VERY well.)

> New resident took an administrator position at local/regional org. Since that time has sent countless emails requesting donations, volunteer hours, etc. and even going so far as to announce if they don't get more donations particular programs will be suspended. - Well of course, if a program requires funds and the dollars don't come a program can't continue. Problem is the person has NOT made any effort to build relationships (admittedly takes some phone call and driving around effort) before always ASKING for something. Hence a majority of long time residents (who are usually generous) have stopped giving (and are angry). - Let it be known these residents are continuing their philanthropy and gathering habits minus the former.

> New resident who fashions themselves as an internet "influencer" has (we'll say) obsessive online presence announcing that they "...love my community", "...you should see my beautiful area...", "I do so much to enhance and uplift my..." - When in reality they do very little, save load up their website with accolades. Oop almost forgot, announced at a community meeting that the area needs to "focus and build its pacific northwest brand". WTH? We have a 10,000+ foot famous mountain lording over our area. WE ARE the Pacific Northwest! WE DON'T need a brand.

The list goes on. AND ON.

That said most of the new residents are nice and joining in as their time and offerings allow, but these few are out of control and there's seemingly no way to corral them.

The reason for typing all of this up is in part because events in the last few months have been difficult, insulting, sad and frustrating. We found some like minds here. That's appreciated!

TO those who move to a small town: Take note of some of the guidance here (most comprehensive being profnot, tho others are helpful too! - Yeah don't speed. Keep your trash in your car. ...etc.)

When you move to a small community keep in mind that you know nothing of the histories, people or loyalties, just out of the gate. Be a neighbor, a supporter of local and regional businesses, groups and orgs, LONG BEFORE you start bringing in your advice or push for CHANGE. There may be reasons some of your ideas don't work, or opinions will be seen as an insult. Maybe you come from big city, larger town, big biz or org. and have been "successful". That's great for you and your family's foundations. But too maybe the ideas and programs you bring up to change things in your new community don't, can't, fit that smaller community. Liking/loving a place so much you move there gives you little to no right or reason to assume you know the people or dynamics of that place. Lay back a bit.

New people who puff too much, push too hard, and or advise long term residents (maybe anywhere) end up being the subject of lively and information sharing and seeking discussion among locals. Some may call that gossip. In reality, it's needed support for what feels like unduly harmful and impossible (in and for our communities) situations at home.

After a few fraught months of new folks behaviors peeking, railroading those who have our love and loyalty, typing this out is some kind of release. We appreciate many of the comments made before us and are glad they are there for others to read.

[Wartrace]

Driving up real estate prices. Land prices around me have increased 3-400% in the past 4 years. People fleeing HCOL areas that are flush with cash from selling their homes are pricing locals out of the market.

I think people are being pretty stupid about offers; they are not doing their research. They think they are getting a "deal" because they are comparing prices here to where they came from.

[Riley.]

This is more of an annoyance than a 'tick me off' but I've occasionally heard people complain about there being 'nothing to do' in rural areas like ours. Well, this is mostly an outdoor enthusiast environment. We do have some cultural offerings - not many - but we try to live quiet lives closer to the 'land.' If you want things to do, you have to find and pursue those opportunities.

If they wanted lots of 'things to do' they should have moved to a more urban area.

[North Beach Person]

Originally Posted by Riley.

This is more of an annoyance than a 'tick me off' but I've occasionally heard people complain about there being 'nothing to do' in rural areas like ours. Well, this is mostly an outdoor enthusiast environment. We do have some cultural offerings - not many - but we try to live quiet lives closer to the 'land.' If you want things to do, you have to find and pursue those opportunities.

If they wanted lots of 'things to do' they should have moved to a more urban area.

The ones I enjoy are those looking for "rural, affordable town with progressive politics within ten minutes of a world class health center and cultural events and a downtown foodie scene with numerous ethnic restaurants and shopping".