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I was partially raised in a small town, ranch community. town people knew more about us when we bought the property than I ever thought possible. this was 50 years ago before the internet. small towns are great in some ways, but if you want privacy this ain't gonna happen in a small town. everybody knows everything about everybody in a small town.
I believe you mentioned in another forum that you were moving to the west side of Door County. If you are on the west side, north of the canal, that area is largely populated with transplants from the Chicago suburbs. Huge difference there vs. the east side. I can guarantee you that for 9 months a year, it is anything but rural.
Lemme guess; the three months that feel rural are December, January, and February?
Lemme guess; the three months that feel rural are December, January, and February?
Bingo! But then again, that area is so much of a winter travel destination that those 3 months are just a calm before the storm...… It will never ever be considered rural....
I believe you mentioned in another forum that you were moving to the west side of Door County. If you are on the west side, north of the canal, that area is largely populated with transplants from the Chicago suburbs. Huge difference there vs. the east side. I can guarantee you that for 9 months a year, it is anything but rural.
Yes, but we are in a rural part of the west side. (Just FYI.) Btw, we have already figured on "hibernating" for much of the tourist season and doing our grocery shopping EARLY to avoid the crowds, LOL!
AND THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL THE NEW REPLIES. THEY ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!
I think sharing too much really painful information too soon is uncomfortable for everyone.... both for you, and the person you share it with.
I think the right amount of info if asked by a stranger is "We had a son who died, and we now have one daughter in ______."
Most people won't ask more questions... They may just say "Aw -I'm sorry..." I would try to thank them and immediately ask them a friendly question to divert their attention.
Just a somewhat general question for small town/rural community residents:
When someone new moves into your immediate neighborhood where neighbors are few and far between, how much personal info would you advise that they share?
We will be moving to a community of less than 100 permanent residents within a one-mile radius of our home, so we don't want to come across as being cold, snobbish, or stand-offish -- but we also don't want to come across as being overly eager to make friends. So what is a "general rule of thumb" besides just giving our names, where we're from, and what we did before we retired? Or is that enough?
Also, people will often ask about kids first thing, but this is a touchy subject for us because our son was either murdered or committed suicide six years ago (an OTC overdose, long story), and we are estranged from our daughter due to her personal choices of which we do not approve, and so we prefer not to go into details about -- or even mention -- either situation with people we just met. We could simply not even mention our son at all and just say that our daughter lives in Such-and-Such City and don't see her very often, but if anyone "presses" for more info, what would you advise for this particular situation?
Thanks in advance!
P.S. We are moving to rural Wisconsin, if that makes any difference -- Midwest vs. South, for example.
"Hi Mary and Bob, We're XYZ. We moved here from ABC. Nice to meet you. Can you tell us about churches/activities/weather typical in _____ town in Wisconsin?"
If Mary and Bob ask any questions about your kids, you can just evade them, especially if you don't bring up their kids. Keep it vague and boring.
I think sharing too much really painful information too soon is uncomfortable for everyone.... both for you, and the person you share it with.
I think the right amount of info if asked by a stranger is "We had a son who died, and we now have one daughter in ______."
Most people won't ask more questions... They may just say "Aw -I'm sorry..." I would try to thank them and immediately ask them a friendly question to divert their attention.
I would not mention the son at all: if you become closer/ good friends with some people- they come to dinner and you go to their place, etc- then you can tell them about your son at some point if the conversation warrants. Still, I would not go into speculations/ or too too much details.
If you say outright that your son died- then the next question is” How did he die” - you don’t need to go there.
Sorry for your loss.
Mentioning the daughter is fine - just where she is located and age, perhaps. that is enough... , possibly occupation - only if asked.
I prefer to let people make up stuff about me. Makes for a fun conversation when someone tells you about all the cool stuff that you never did.
I would keep things on common ground.
As we enter the holidays, maybe ask what kind of traditions the area has. I remember living in Iowa for a couple years back in the 80's. First Halloween and I was wondering how the kids trick or treat in some of the farm communities. I was invited to a barn party and it was a blast. Turns out that trick or treating was not a big deal but the barn party was, at least in that community.
I would want to learn about all the fun things that they do differently there. Without even learning about you, people will open up when they talk about things that they do. Before you know it your old friends.
You have to give them enough data so they don't go off the rails speculating.
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