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Just a somewhat general question for small town/rural community residents:
When someone new moves into your immediate neighborhood where neighbors are few and far between, how much personal info would you advise that they share?
We will be moving to a community of less than 100 permanent residents within a one-mile radius of our home, so we don't want to come across as being cold, snobbish, or stand-offish -- but we also don't want to come across as being overly eager to make friends. So what is a "general rule of thumb" besides just giving our names, where we're from, and what we did before we retired? Or is that enough?
Also, people will often ask about kids first thing, but this is a touchy subject for us because our son was either murdered or committed suicide six years ago (an OTC overdose, long story), and we are estranged from our daughter due to her personal choices of which we do not approve, and so we prefer not to go into details about -- or even mention -- either situation with people we just met. We could simply not even mention our son at all and just say that our daughter lives in Such-and-Such City and don't see her very often, but if anyone "presses" for more info, what would you advise for this particular situation?
Thanks in advance!
P.S. We are moving to rural Wisconsin, if that makes any difference -- Midwest vs. South, for example.
I think sharing too much really painful information too soon is uncomfortable for everyone.... both for you, and the person you share it with.
I think the right amount of info if asked by a stranger is "We had a son who died, and we now have one daughter in ______."
Most people won't ask more questions... They may just say "Aw -I'm sorry..." I would try to thank them and immediately ask them a friendly question to divert their attention.
IMO, just giving your names, where you were from, and what you used to do, plus why you chose to move there, is plenty. After that, move on to the Packers, pets if any (yours and/or theirs) and the weather.
After a while, when you become closer friends with a few individuals, the more intimate sharing can come about in a gradual, natural way as you have conversations that are a bit deeper.
Just be friendly and genuine, perhaps asking more questions than talking about yourself. Culture varies regionally, but here in rural Northern New England, people are usually respectful enough to not be asking a lot of personal questions of people they just met.
I think sharing too much really painful information too soon is uncomfortable for everyone.... both for you, and the person you share it with.
I think the right amount of info if asked by a stranger is "We had a son who died, and we now have one daughter in ______."
Most people won't ask more questions... They may just say "Aw -I'm sorry..." I would try to thank them and immediately ask them a friendly question to divert their attention.
Just a somewhat general question for small town/rural community residents:
When someone new moves into your immediate neighborhood where neighbors are few and far between, how much personal info would you advise that they share?
We will be moving to a community of less than 100 permanent residents within a one-mile radius of our home, so we don't want to come across as being cold, snobbish, or stand-offish -- but we also don't want to come across as being overly eager to make friends. So what is a "general rule of thumb" besides just giving our names, where we're from, and what we did before we retired? Or is that enough?
Also, people will often ask about kids first thing, but this is a touchy subject for us because our son was either murdered or committed suicide six years ago (an OTC overdose, long story), and we are estranged from our daughter due to her personal choices of which we do not approve, and so we prefer not to go into details about -- or even mention -- either situation with people we just met. We could simply not even mention our son at all and just say that our daughter lives in Such-and-Such City and don't see her very often, but if anyone "presses" for more info, what would you advise for this particular situation?
Thanks in advance!
P.S. We are moving to rural Wisconsin, if that makes any difference -- Midwest vs. South, for example.
I'm sorry to hear of your son and daughter.
As to your question, Midwest folk are polite and friendly, but more reserved than Southerners.
Be polite and feel free to give them whatever information you feel comfortable with. They can be direct and may ask questions you just don't want to answer. Fine, just tell them that. Midwest people appreciate honestly.
I've only been to Milwaukee, but the people I met we're just good, regular people.
Relax and make a bunch of new friends.
Don’t over share. You don’t know these people. Maybe if you’ve known them a while but not right away. You may not even like these people as time passes.
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