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You are too young by decades to be feeling blue about the old days. Time to see more places of all kinds!
The small town I spent almost my whole childhood in didn’t change much for a really long time after I moved away, in 1975. I think I had last seen it resembling my old town in 2002 or 2007. Then there was a big gap till I next returned, in 2017.
It looked like yet another victim (or beneficiary, depending on your viewpoint) of the mega-urban sprawl. The growth of the sine qua non big city that was the starting point of the spread had finally enfolded it. No longer did it feel like its former freestanding pleasant small town self. It had turned into an outlying suburb, one that used to be 40 minutes’ drive from the hub back in the long ago time.
With your childhood spent moving around so much, you probably long for a place to become attached to, which is understandable. But you have time to explore enough to find that place—or places, plural. More than one place can feel like home!
This is not to dispute the idea of moving around, experiencing new places, etc., but sometimes I think that young people DO know what they want and what they don't want. I have known that I was a "small community, four seasons" kind of person since I was nine years old.
When I was nine, we moved from a small suburban older neighborhood in Ohio to a densely populated community in SoCal. I hated it from the first day until the day I left, and moving to the Denver area (my husband's idea) and living thee for 25 years was no improvement.
And so when my husband and I retired to a small rural community in four-seasons Wisconsin, it was like I was coming home from after an absence of almost 60 years. We have been here for 18 months now, and even thought the temperature got down to two degrees yesterday, I haven't been this happy since I was a nine-year-old child living in Ohio.
But, yes, communities DO change -- and both communities where I grew up (in Ohio and in SoCal) have definitely changed for the worse since I lived there -- so maybe it is true that "you can't go home again" in that respect, but I think you can find something similar to what you remember.
I don't think that's why they are nostalgic. I find myself being most nostalgic for the time I had my first job in high school to going to college. I started driving (freedom), earning money so I could pretty much do a few things and by then, my mom was done raising kids. I could have either gone one way or another. It grew me up a lot and I liked running my own life as opposed to other people doing it.
I also think people are nostalgic over their lost potential. When you are young, you have your whole life ahead of you and the possibilities are limitless. When you get older, not so much.
You zeroed in on why the longing for an earlier time persists. Most people have multiple interests and abilities. Sometimes you can’t follow your own nose and experiment when you ARE young, or you don’t even know how much is out there. That’s why allowing yourself the freedom to go different places while young can be so much more than just traveling.
This is not to dispute the idea of moving around, experiencing new places, etc., but sometimes I think that young people DO know what they want and what they don't want. I have known that I was a "small community, four seasons" kind of person since I was nine years old.
When I was nine, we moved from a small suburban older neighborhood in Ohio to a densely populated community in SoCal. I hated it from the first day until the day I left, and moving to the Denver area (my husband's idea) and living thee for 25 years was no improvement.
And so when my husband and I retired to a small rural community in four-seasons Wisconsin, it was like I was coming home from after an absence of almost 60 years. We have been here for 18 months now, and even thought the temperature got down to two degrees yesterday, I haven't been this happy since I was a nine-year-old child living in Ohio.
But, yes, communities DO change -- and both communities where I grew up (in Ohio and in SoCal) have definitely changed for the worse since I lived there -- so maybe it is true that "you can't go home again" in that respect, but I think you can find something similar to what you remember.
From a very young age, I yearned for lots of wild space and few people around. I used to draw pictures of huge meadows with Teton-like backdrops and no houses, despite never having been to such places! The books I read included some set in the boonies, so that probably had some influence. But I was raised to believe that the only way to live was like most people, in towns, cities, suburbs. So I limited myself even long after leaving the nest.
BUT...living in different situations just within those bounds was good experience. I never considered any of them as anything but temporary. They still were good places to be, for a while.
I lived decades in Florida as a child and later 20 years as retired adult and glad not to live there now, moved 2 years ago to North Carolina. We took time to decide where in US to move to, finally between CO and NC.
Most people in their 20's combine where they want to live with their career choices. We have 2 young relatives with families doing that now, one bought an RV. Covid gave people time to think about choices IMO.
There are still hippie small towns left, more likely in states with legal pot. Just don't expect the same childhood feelings to appear. Other than that, go see the US it's fantastic, enjoy your life, stay safe while doing that.
I grew up in the 'burbs, then moved to the big city. I loved the city; I was young and went to concerts and dance bars and parties.
Then I moved to the country. Wide open spaces, few neighbors. I'm addicted, don't think I'd be happy in a city again.
The biggest change is now I'm older and like staying home. I'm married and don't feel the urge to go find a partner. And concerts are much too loud. Dang kids!
The author Tom Wolfe said it best in his novel of the same name: "You can't go home again." The reason is you are not the person you were, and home is not the home it was. Carlos Casteneda elaborated on this theme in his novel "Journey to Ixtlan".
Quote:
Originally Posted by cowpat5
I'm in my late 20's. Moved around a lot growing up. Only lived in a handful of different towns/cities but it was more like my family would move from town A, back to town B, back to town A, and then back to town B. We probably did this 5 times or so in my teenage years. I was born in FL. Lived in a few different counties in FL in elementary school. Then we moved to upstate NY on a whim (parents both from Long Island but my parents couldn't afford moving to Long Island. That's mainly the reason). And that's when the moving back and forth began. Currently living in central FL again and there is this weird part of me that misses upstate NY. It was a small town... like 8k people. Where I live now... it's 30 mins from Disney World. In a growing suburb. It's weird... I talk to a lot of people/meet a lot of people due to my line of work and I meet very, very few people that are actually from (born and raised) in this area. A lot of transients. This town used to be "nothing but orange groves" I hear a lot of older folks say.
I would always say that I hated the snow/the long winters. But after being back to central FL and having been back here for close to 7 years (moved from upstate NY right after high school to back down here) I miss it... I wouldn't move back to that same town because to be honest... yeah I really don't think I could do the long winters again and I don't like NY politics (I don't like politics in general but the least amount of government interference the better IMO). I've been in a slump for the past probably 1-2 years. I'm sick of FL. But don't want to move back to upstate NY. I'll probably wind up being nomadic and/or unsatisfied to some extent my whole life... lol. Either that or stay here and continue to be miserable. I've just about had enough of that though.
The small town in NY I lived in... it was like a hippie town. Whenever I think of this town I think of the Grateful Dead, the times I had friends, hanging out with friends "in town", the trees/natural beauty, and school. I get a very weird nostalgic, very melancholy feeling whenever I think of that old town... right now I'm on google maps "walking around town" and I can't help but feel very empty and sad. I'm too old to cry about this sort of stuff but it just makes me feel sad. Anyone else feel this way?
Our place in CA had a population explosion this last 40 years.
The new place is 5 miles from a town of 101 residents and 15 miles from a town of 5K.
There is no traffic or even a need for a traffic report.
Most things are a drive but I am in no hurry and I like this just fine.
This is not to dispute the idea of moving around, experiencing new places, etc., but sometimes I think that young people DO know what they want and what they don't want. I have known that I was a "small community, four seasons" kind of person since I was nine years old.
When I was nine, we moved from a small suburban older neighborhood in Ohio to a densely populated community in SoCal. I hated it from the first day until the day I left, and moving to the Denver area (my husband's idea) and living thee for 25 years was no improvement.
And so when my husband and I retired to a small rural community in four-seasons Wisconsin, it was like I was coming home from after an absence of almost 60 years. We have been here for 18 months now, and even thought the temperature got down to two degrees yesterday, I haven't been this happy since I was a nine-year-old child living in Ohio.
But, yes, communities DO change -- and both communities where I grew up (in Ohio and in SoCal) have definitely changed for the worse since I lived there -- so maybe it is true that "you can't go home again" in that respect, but I think you can find something similar to what you remember.
I'd love to know where you ended up. I'm casually planning to move (back) to WI in three years.
My parents' families were both from Racine and I still have relatives between Madison and Chicago (though I don't talk to them much). We were in Madison, briefly, for my husband to complete his PhD. Loved it... I cried when we had to move on... We lived in East Lansing for a couple years and that was a wonderful experience for me socially... the best, actually, but my husband didn't like it. He felt trapped. I think maybe it had more to do with our stagnating income and professional prospects than the town itself. But the size was probably a factor too. Central Michigan isn't as nice as central Wisconsin.
We have been in the PNW for last 11 years. I thought this would be it... but I've come to dislike this area a lot and now I think about moving back to Madison every day. I don't know if it's the same Madison we left in 2009 though. We passed through a few years ago... just long enough stretch our feet, get a coffee and drive through campus. I did notice a lot of new buildings. That's okay... can't be any worse than the growth we've seen in the Seattle area.
I'm open to living in another community in WI. It just needs to have the following:
-Good library system
-Independent bookstore
-At least one independent coffee shop OR potential for one (I work in the Seattle coffee industry and could see myself beginning my own concept... and I'd have the capital to try).
-At least one park where I could take a mile long walk.
My husband would ideally like to be near a large body of water. I would like to be in the woods (but not woods that burn down like out here!). I'd like to keep bees and join the state's beekeeping association.
Oh.. and we'd be bringing along our early 20-something year old autistic son. He wants to do a biomedical technical program. So I imagine he'd go around and fix and maintain medical equipment. Which is good... he can go anywhere with those skills.
I left Seattle 3 years ago to come back to SoCal and i am glad I did . I needed to warm up an dry out badly .The weather took a toll on my physical health .
I am from Texas long ago originally and there is no way I would go there again . WACO Texas too . I was born on a large ranch that had belonged to my family for a very long time right outside waco . I was already far too colorful and wild with unusual ideas that made my childhood a living hell there .
I do get homesick though but after a lot of thought , I understand I miss my life with my family . They are all gone now as is the ranch .I still have some close friends that I talk with online but I am way better off here where I can be me.
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