Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I would like to have every minute back that I spent wishing I lived elsewhere. I would take them and paint and draw and read and cook and garden and commiserate with friends and make friends and write and cruise and ride my bike and swim and boat and make music and listen to music and play with children and dance and sing loudly and............
I am extremely lonely and bored of small town life. However I am not getting any younger and need to make the best of the time I have. I struggle with this because everything I am tells me I belong in an urban area but that's not possible for me right now. If I spend my entire life wishing I was somewhere else I will be even more miserable. I need to try to make the best of where I am even if I am at total odds with it.
As it's been said: Bored with your environment, bored with yourself.
To live happily in any big city it takes money.
I live in Las Vegas. Being a member of the working class here, I don't gamble, can't afford the big ticket shows on the Strip, or the high prices of drinks in the clubs. And if you're a lowly member of the working class here, it's no more exciting than being in Dubuque, Iowa.
Anytime I travel now, when people ask me where I live, I say Tucson, Arizona. I'm just so tired of hearing it: Oh you live in Las Vegas! How exciting! How could you ever get bored living in a city like that?
Ever since TV we have been able to transport ourselves into the lives of those folks who seem to be having a better time of it than we are. The truth is that Americans are becoming a nation of people who need to be entertained a lot, kids are not imaginative any more, they have their cells and Ipods, pc's and TV to keep them amused. Boredom is a relatively new experience for humans, it wasn't that long ago that living ones life required all their time just to maintain their food and shelter situation, we now have 'down time" to seek out some fun and socialize with others. This evolution of free time has posed a hard question for us all, that is, should we be looking at our social life as just having the time to be entertained? Could it be that we don't understand the greater needs of our communities? Most of the young folks think they are wasting time in these small towns, they don't see the oppertunities to be of service to the towns elderly or disabled, entertainment has become the paramount force in their lives, TV of course has given rise to this notion more so than any invention since the wheel. The natural course of events will pull you in the direction of the popular culture, this will not be a temporary thing either, it will be the lasting drive in our society, the young will go to the cities and they will look for the excitement. When they are past the age of relevance in their culture, they too will be moving on, or at the very least, staying home more and tending to the realities of family life or the quieter life of an older person. Neither scenario, city or small town, has something for everyone, we do however, fit in to our comfort zone according to our needs.
Ever since TV we have been able to transport ourselves into the lives of those folks who seem to be having a better time of it than we are. The truth is that Americans are becoming a nation of people who need to be entertained a lot, kids are not imaginative any more, they have their cells and Ipods, pc's and TV to keep them amused. Boredom is a relatively new experience for humans, it wasn't that long ago that living ones life required all their time just to maintain their food and shelter situation, we now have 'down time" to seek out some fun and socialize with others. This evolution of free time has posed a hard question for us all, that is, should we be looking at our social life as just having the time to be entertained? Could it be that we don't understand the greater needs of our communities? Most of the young folks think they are wasting time in these small towns, they don't see the oppertunities to be of service to the towns elderly or disabled, entertainment has become the paramount force in their lives, TV of course has given rise to this notion more so than any invention since the wheel. The natural course of events will pull you in the direction of the popular culture, this will not be a temporary thing either, it will be the lasting drive in our society, the young will go to the cities and they will look for the excitement. When they are past the age of relevance in their culture, they too will be moving on, or at the very least, staying home more and tending to the realities of family life or the quieter life of an older person. Neither scenario, city or small town, has something for everyone, we do however, fit in to our comfort zone according to our needs.
Good points. Popular culture today heavily promotes urban areas and nightlife (especially for the young) while at the same time belittles the small town life as something for ignorant, backwards hicks. However, times and culture do change. Much of what once was so great about small town life has been destroyed by Wal-Mart and chain restaurants. While small towns once were defined by their charm and character, today you can really only find such character in the cities. Small towns today can be a rather depressing place to be when you are young (especially if you are in your twenties and not yet married), when there are few people your age around and pretty much no social activities geared towards people your age. I believe one of the biggest reasons young people who remain in small towns get married so early is because there is really no reason to wait.
Really, really true that pop culture, today, promotes urban nightlife. I sympathize with the unhappiness that I hear from people--usually female--on the subject of boredom and depression in a small town. (..and that's in spite of my earlier remark about all the things "I" would do.
It's a challenge to be viable, here, and participate in the vanity fair presented to us by TV and yuppies.
Some of the real things that have made my life seem 'good,' include:
A group of friends who get together for a 'one tank trip' about once a month,
Frequent trips to the nearest college town where I dine, shop and peer,
Hard, physical farm work--and/or gardening,
A Book discussion group that I have to maintain,
Service on a community board,
I attend church and accept it as an hour of meditation, not as a 'magic show,'
I have 'telephone' and email friends, in other states with whom I probably take up too much
time,
And, I realize that I am lucky to have had a really great career,
but now, I invent a business for which dividends are paid-in, not taken out :-).
I'm sure these are things you already do or consider, so I have to add that as difficult as it is, one more thing I do is grit my teeth through the insulting monologues offered by people about their better station in a bigger population.
If there is a golf course in your town, I recommend taking it up because it puts you with people and seems to spawn some night life activity that young people invariably, love. When I was younger, we had an FAC...I don't want to tell you about all that LOL, but I always felt that I had been somewhere by evening's end.
If none of these things are your thing, you might like to form a card playing group(or board games)
or a dinner club(You don't have to like to cook, just be creative.)
You might have to chuck the idea of Studio 54, but it seems to me that these are all activities that are enjoyed in the cities as well.
Just suggestions. I speak from experience: Because you are alone, out there, you may have to be the instigator and maintenance. Don't wait for approval or someone else to carry in, a life for you. You have to do it and it is really hard!! That's the way it is----guess what--everywhere!! You will miss sleep and you will be humiliated before it is 'off the ground,' but you work or wither. Whichever.
Last edited by roots'nbulbs; 05-14-2009 at 10:59 AM..
I am extremely lonely and bored of small town life. However I am not getting any younger and need to make the best of the time I have. I struggle with this because everything I am tells me I belong in an urban area but that's not possible for me right now. If I spend my entire life wishing I was somewhere else I will be even more miserable. I need to try to make the best of where I am even if I am at total odds with it.
For all my previous posturing, I really am sympathetic as I really enjoy the energy of people who are scurrying from offices to cafes to malls to campuses. I don't pretend to know the solution for those of us whose circumstances plant us in the small towns and country, but I have never been convinced that I am missing more than the conventional opinion of the majority.
My place is just such a pretty place to live. Maybe it's a trade off for cement.............I get a lot of challenging comments like, "I don't see you hanging around this small town...you're just so...urban." WTH. what DOES that mean??????????
I just refuse to be beaten by it. I'm going to have a life, so I'm going to figure out what's missing and I'm going to supplant it.
Location: Oklahoma(formerly SoCalif) Originally Mich,
13,387 posts, read 19,426,436 times
Reputation: 4611
Quote:
Originally Posted by roots'nbulbs
For all my previous posturing, I really am sympathetic as I really enjoy the energy of people who are scurrying from offices to cafes to malls to campuses. I don't pretend to know the solution for those of us whose circumstances plant us in the small towns and country, but I have never been convinced that I am missing more than the conventional opinion of the majority.
My place is just such a pretty place to live. Maybe it's a trade off for cement.............I get a lot of challenging comments like, "I don't see you hanging around this small town...you're just so...urban." WTH. what DOES that mean??????????
I just refuse to be beaten by it. I'm going to have a life, so I'm going to figure out what's missing and I'm going to supplant it.
If you don't know what your missing, then your most likely not missing anything in the first place.
Enjoy what you have and make the best of it.
Just something to think about
If that makes no sence, then your still at a young age.
"No offense intended to anyone."
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
)
