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One of the guys at my VFW post [Larry] was telling me that after moving to Maine he joined the church in his town. A year later a buddy with a bar across the road from his house asked him to work p/t in a bar. So he began working in the bar a couple shifts each week, mostly just to fill-in for the regular bartenders. A few weeks later, his pastor visited him, explained that he had been seen going in and out of the bar. The deacons had met and his membership in the church had been revoked. He is no longer welcome in that church. Nobody cared if he was drinking, or serving, or sweeping the floors.
IMHO if he had been living in a city, it would have been less likely that a congregation member would have seen him going to work.
Why would a person .who belongs to a church that opposes drinking, take a job in a bar?
That is like a person who belongs to a strong,anti-meat group taking a job in a slaughterhouse.
That is like a Catholic( or a member of any strong pro-life church ) taking a job at an abortion clinic
Why did he belong to a that church in the first place if he didn't believe in their anti drinking rules ?
Why would a person .who belongs to a church that opposes drinking, take a job in a bar?
That is like a person who belongs to a strong,anti-meat group taking a job in a slaughterhouse.
That is like a Catholic ( or a member of any strong pro-life church ) taking a job at an abortion clinic
Why did he belong to a that church in the first place if he didn't believe in their anti drinking rules ?
I do not know.
I see him routinely enough at the post, he is not a very strict religious guy, I would suspect that when he moved here, he went to the only church in town, as a method of fitting-in, or establishing himself in the community.
I do not know if that church is strongly anti-alcohol or not. The church that I grew-up in was very strongly anti-alcohol; but I have since seen other churches that were not so completely on that band-wagon.
From the way in which he told me the story, it was not so much about the church having a stance against alcohol, but a small-town church having a strong rural-mill and being in full support of their own gossip.
The OP here being about small towns and how they differ from big-cities; I shared the story, as I saw it as a good example of something that could happen in any small town.
Whereas in a big city, nobody knows anyone else, you fit in the crowd.
I have attended churches where their services would seat thousands of people; they are done in 'seatings', they might have a 9am Sunday Service, and a 10am Sunday Service, and a 11am Sunday Service. After each service, you move out as quickly as possible so the next seating of people can move in.
Nobody knows anyone, each member is simply a sheeple in the herd.
To my experience such mega-churches only exist in urban settings, not in small town settings.
Hmmm...most country folks I know are just kind of puzzled by city people...as in why in the world they would choose to live in a city. Crowded, noisy, dirty. Did I say crowded?
Most I know just don't see the allure of the city, or what the city has to offer as being enough to outweigh what many see as the displeasures of living in a city.
...and, from what I've seen, the feeling among city dwellers is reciprocal. They're pretty puzzled about us, too.
I think that it is Medieval to draw a thick line between city and country dwellers. Looking for vivid differences presumes that people do not wander far away, for a lifetime.
There are limitations to what can occur in one place.....but not to imaginations. So, the personality of neighborhoods--big or small--depends on individuals. That can be determined by the dominating industry or mode of education. In other words, I perceive Detroit differently that I perceive you if you tell me you are from Austin, TX.
If I tell you that I am from Lodi, CA, you would expect a different persona than if I told you that I was from Hays, KS.
But, then, where I was formally educated--or, if I was-- and where the internet takes me is a mystery factor unless we really "talk."
You just can't judge......the sophisticates and the hicks live everywhere these days. :-)
As someone who was born and raised in NYC (and still lives here now), I was just curious as to the opinions of small-town America towards the big cities and people that live in them. Also, what are the stereotypes?
I live in a small Indiana town. I have been to NYC, Chi, Los Angeles, Detroit and many others. The only big city that I could see myself living in is Los Angeles. I loved it there because it was more spread out than the others and there's always tons to do on top of near perfect weather. I have come to hate small town living but due to our wonderful economy I am doomed to the solice and boredom of the small rural hole I call "home".
I'm a little different in the way that I like people who mind their own business, that's not happening in smalltown Indiana. In larger cities people tend to look straight ahead, as do I. I also like the liberal side of larger cities, you see people dressed strange and it's ok. Here you will be judged if you don't look like the rest. I feel more free in a big city.
I think many people romanticize country life...too much. Yeah, there's no smog or whatever, but the people are gossipy, and many think the earth ends if you go past the county line or something. I grew up in a small town and mixed with the good ol' boys, jocks, and grunge kids as well, but life was never such a hell as when I befriended a known gay male in town.
I kind of felt sorry for him, and he was friends with my girlfriends social circle. He sometimes rode to keg parties with us, etc. That was about it. I was accused of being gay for the rest of my high school days, gossiped about (even by my aunts and cousins), etc, mostly because I wasn't hateful toward this gay kid.
Such is life in small towns.
Being a native of a small town where the football team still occassionally flies the Confederate flag in the Homecoming Parade, I can tell you that many small town people are afraid of the city and many of the residents. Many avoid cities like the plague, and seem to think that bullets are flying everywhere. Obviously not true, but that's what many of my small town co-inhabitants thought of the city.
Another little thing about small towns...don't try going to a local bar (in the Midwest anyway) without Wrangler nut-hugger jeans (talk about gay) and a John Deere hat or cowboy boots on or you'll get dirty looks all night and possibly a beer bottle broken over your head before you leave.
Interestingly, my NY-raised boyfriend goes into my hometown (midwestern, John Deere Hat and Wrangler-filled) bars with me every time we visit home. No fights or dirty looks thus far. Belligerent drunks aren't the exclusive property of small communities, at any rate.
When I moved to a large city for the first time, my hometown and smaller town friends and peers were reluctant to visit me. The main reason? Not because they hated the city or its inhabitants. Not because they were racist or otherwise backwoods. Not because they were uncultured slobs who were not interested. Because they were intimidated to by the volume of traffic and unconfident about navigating without getting lost.
Interestingly, my NY-raised boyfriend goes into my hometown (midwestern, John Deere Hat and Wrangler-filled) bars with me every time we visit home. No fights or dirty looks thus far. Belligerent drunks aren't the exclusive property of small communities, at any rate.
When I moved to a large city for the first time, my hometown and smaller town friends and peers were reluctant to visit me. The main reason? Not because they hated the city or its inhabitants. Not because they were racist or otherwise backwoods. Not because they were uncultured slobs who were not interested. Because they were intimidated to by the volume of traffic and unconfident about navigating without getting lost.
Your experience has definitely been different than mine! I think you're living in a fantasy world if you think rural people aren't afraid of/intimidated by/or just plain don't like the 'foreigners, gays, blacks, etc' that inhabit big cities. Some of my old hometown-ites/high school friends have told me these about these feelings, although it's usually after a few drinks. I think xenophobia in rural communities is alive and well, although most of the time it's well-concealed.
As for that bar thing, the reason my friends and myself have been targeted in those local bars is because of the way we look (maybe too preppy, or not redneck enough), not anything we're doing, which is pretty much sitting at our own table or possible playing pool. No, of course belligerent drunks aren't exclusive to small towns. That isn't what I was saying...it's more about if you don't fit in in one way or another, there's a good chance you'll have problems.
Where I live city means different things to us than it would to the OP. New York City is this big city we see on the TV, but don't necessarily connect to on a day-to-day basis. "The city" can be a metropolitan area less than a tenth the population of NYC.
I guess a big thing as mentioned is many small town people, particularly older ones, see cities as scary. That it's a loud place and there are gangs terrorizing people. For me I'd say I feel a bit "scared" of a large city, but at this point not so much due to crime. There are several cities that are pretty low in crime. It's more the traffic than anything. Car accidents concern me.
That said among young small town people cities are sometimes attractive. They may not want to live there permanently, but they like the idea of being able to experience it for a time. Two of my siblings live in larger metropolitan areas.
As someone who was born and raised in NYC (and still lives here now), I was just curious as to the opinions of small-town America towards the big cities and people that live in them. Also, what are the stereotypes?
No stereotypes. I'm glad you are there. There's not enough room here for everyone up there in all those high rises.
As I pass through on the turnpikes and go across the Washington Bridge and up the 95....I don't understand how folks live like that.
But then again, you guys would freak out if you had to come here and have silence, grass to mow, drive 30 miles to go to a grocery store, etc.
I love big cities for their cultural offerings and vitality. Museums, art exhibits, musicial and dance performances and ethnic restaurants and such. What I don't miss is the daily stress of too much traffic, too much noise and the proximity of too many people and cars...too much stimulation without end.
When I was younger none of these things bothered me one iota--I loved all the glitter and jitter of city life. But as I grew older, I yearned for more tranquility, simplicity, quietude, and a small circle of caring friends and community.
I wanted to walk or ride my bike most everywhere I could without fear of cars, trucks and buses mashing me to a pulp.
I wanted to hear crickets at night and not sirens, the occasional gunshot, circling helicopters, car alarms, and roaring planes overhead.
I wanted to smell pine and jasmine scent instead of automobile exhaust.
In short, what attracted me to big cities--the glitter and the jitter as a young person--is exactly what drove me away as an older person.
But for cultural offerings and the frisson of many creative minds meshing, a big city cannot be beat.
For caring community, give me a small town where everyone knows your name--and lends a helping hand when needed.
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