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Old 01-05-2011, 01:32 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX, USA
5,142 posts, read 13,067,227 times
Reputation: 2515

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Quote:
Originally Posted by rarichie75 View Post
It seems the people that were born and raised here are kind, but when I try and reach out to them to get together, they seem to be busy. It's as if they already have their established friendships and there is no need to reach out to new comers to the city. One of my friends that I have met here that is from another city agrees with me, so I don't think it is just me or is it?
I'm born and raised here and I met one of my good friends here who is from Corpus. I don't have a big social circle to begin with but what I found hard to make friends here is someone I can connect with on common interests. I would love to have more friends who share my interests and those folks are most likely from outside the city. I have another friend who is from Arizona, lol.
I'm kind of a oddball: I don't watch sports or follow the Spurs, I don't like Fiesta and I don't do the bar or club scene and I'm 29.
So yes, it can difficult to find friends here in general whether you are new or not, depending on what your interests are. Also, I've made efforts on my part to extend myself out there too but I'm finding a great deal of flakiness (not calling if not showing up, never finalizing plans together, etc).
As for Alamo Heights area, there are lots of families that know each other from their work or family circles. Not to say that there isn't folks from outside those circles that live there but its probably more of an effort for someone who doesn't have work or family networks to find their place within the community through church, community, or volunteer functions.
Northeast ISD is closeby Alamo Heights so you can look into those schools instead of private school if you'd like or even Northside ISD depending on your rental decision for renewal time.
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Old 01-05-2011, 01:39 PM
 
258 posts, read 635,217 times
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I guess I'm surprised that we haven't established friendships already regarding my son. Seems to be taking awhile and I fear it won't ever happen. The people we have made friends with have been through my daughters pre-school. This is why we are thinking it's an AH thing. Since, my daughters school has families that live all over the San Antonio area that attend, and not just live in AH. But again these friends are originally from other cities.
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Old 01-05-2011, 01:44 PM
 
6,691 posts, read 8,706,264 times
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As a single person in his early 30's, I find it difficult to make friends here because I don't care about the bar scene, spurs, fiesta (never been), or any other major San Antonio attraction.

I also live in an neighborhood with a lot of retired folks which doesn't help at all. I feel that sometimes I should have bought a house in an area with folks closer to my age group.

That is not to say I don't have any friends, it is just that I haven't made many here in San Antonio and I was born here!

I don't think it really has to do with being an outsider or native. It has to do with what you enjoy doing here and it if falls within what most of this city enjoys such as fiesta, niosa, spurs games, etc. Stuff that I find boring. (no offense)
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Old 01-05-2011, 01:48 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX, USA
5,142 posts, read 13,067,227 times
Reputation: 2515
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattTx View Post
As a single person in his early 30's, I find it difficult to make friends here because I don't care about the bar scene, spurs, fiesta (never been), or any other major San Antonio attraction.
You should come hang out in our social circle, the small one that it is! I'm 29, my hubby is 32 and the very few friends that we have. We're nerds, hope you don't mind.
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Old 01-05-2011, 01:52 PM
 
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Just my two cents - My daughter goes to a private school and we are experiencing the same thing you are with your son. Don't know if its because the school is 90% hispanic and my daughter does not look the half hispanic that she is (blond, blue eyes) or if it is because most of the parents are alumni of the school and are pretty snotty to those who are not.
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Old 01-05-2011, 01:56 PM
 
1,933 posts, read 3,739,074 times
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OP I completely understand but do not give up. I too have become dishearten in having my child socialize. I have been with a playgroup and my little one has yet to make any friends (including myself) but part of it has to do with lack of transporation for myself. But when I do go on a playdate it seems like I am an outsider looking in and my little one looks around as if he too is an outsider. It seems like these friendships are determined by their parent's relationships. I won't let it get to me, and I will stick it out. I am sure soon enough you and I will be courting many of our little ones friends that we won't be replying to CD threads
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Old 01-05-2011, 01:58 PM
 
258 posts, read 635,217 times
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That has crossed my mind as well. Being a private school, will that make things worse? It's a gamble I guess. I hate to switch my son's school AGAIN. I'm just trying to figure out the best solution for my kids sake.
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Old 01-05-2011, 01:58 PM
 
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Been here 18 years, but was in a military family before that, so moved a few times. It took us a few years to where we felt comfortable, but now, it's home and we won't leave. Because we're a military town, we've got a TON of people who weren't born and raised here. The pace of life is a little different from other towns, which takes some getting used to. There's a lot more driving involved than a lot of places, so the "community" feel really depends on your specific neighborhood. Alamo Heights is more of a town than neighborhood, as it's so big, so the key is just finding folks that have the same thing in common as you in kids' activities, adult activities, Churches and Bible studies, etc. Lots of folks talk about the "AH Attitude" but I simply don't believe that to be true. I deal with a lot of folks down there and most are incredibly outgoing. I just think it's too big to have that "neighborhood" feel that a lot of people look for.

The more you get out and get involved in things, the quicker you will find others that have the same thing in common. I've got two groups of friends. One is a few guys that I went to high school with and their wives. The other group are couples from our Bible Study. We went through a few groups until we found one we were not only comfortable with, but that did lots of outside activities with the families. It took some looking, but we are very pleased with our group of friends. Just keep plugging away and you'll definitely find your place.
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Old 01-05-2011, 02:08 PM
 
Location: San Antonio. Tx 78209
2,649 posts, read 7,409,504 times
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Rarichie, I would suggest becoming very active in school activities. Volunteer at the school if you can, join the PTA and attend the meetings. If a field trip needs a chaperone offer to be one. That way you will be able to talk to other parents and make them feel more at ease with you. You say that your son is getting any invitations to birthday parties and such, but have you extended any invitations to your son's class?
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Old 01-05-2011, 02:11 PM
 
258 posts, read 635,217 times
Reputation: 106
Outgoing yes, wanting to really connect, no.

If we found a church, that would help too. Unfortunately, we are running into the same problems.

I honestly think it is rare to find true friends and people you really connect with. They are very few and far between, that is why we cherish the friends we have in our lives. People are so different and it is hard to find like minded people.
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