I just don't fit in San Antonio. (Houston, Austin: lawyers, law school)

[beaste]

Originally Posted by L210

This is a personal question that I didn't have the nerve to ask, but it is relevant. There was a black man on the Texas forum who started up a thread complaining about how Asian and Hispanic women didn't seem interested in black men in his part of Texas. At the same time, he had no interest in dating white or black women. If he has his preferences, then he should accept that other people have their preferences. I'm not saying this is true of the OP, but there are people who complain about the treatment they receive from other ethnic groups while not wanting to associate with or date the people of their own ethnic group. It's hypocritical.

His post got deleted for a reason and I think he's trying to get my thread closed with this.

I've lived in different parts of the US, moved many places and grew up being around few blacks despite being black myself. I lived in Atlanta which is 51% black and dated black women there and other women outside my race. I have a choice just like anyone else to date who I want. I accept that.

That doesn't diminish what I said in my OP about feeling out of place personality wise and lifestyle wise here.

I do encounter few blacks due to my job and lifestyle. Also it's silly to believe just because someone else is black I should instantly associate with them based on skin color or something.

Quaker was trying to point at something that did not have any relevancy in my OP. I only slightly mentioned dating in my initial post but the majority of my post was not about that.

Originally Posted by Lovely95

No, if you feel isolated in SA, you will definitely feel isolated in Austin. I have a close relative that lives there and he complains all the time about dating there and he has heard so often the phrase "I don't date black guys". Of course, you should move to where you like.

I know how you feel though. I grew up in a country area outside of SA and the only black family in a neighborhood. I like SA for many things, but I grew up very racially aware. If you want to stay in Texas, I'd look at Houston. It's big and very diverse. I'm not a fan of the big TX cities so I looked out of the state. There are so many more places in the rest of the country you'd be okay in. Don't give up!

Yeah not interested in Austin anymore. Not the right fit for me.

Houston sounds promising should I stay in Texas. Thank you.

[JuneOf48]

I feel for the OP, and it's refreshing to hear a genuine story of not liking SA that doesn't turn into a hyperbolic "THIS CITY SUCKS" thread. Some people just have bad luck in certain cities, for totally contingent reasons. I was lucky to meet a core group of good friends the very first night I went out in SA, the day I arrived. Just last night, I was hanging out with some long-term friends, and we were agreeing on how we've found people in this city to be sincerely interested in each other, in a way that we've never experienced in Austin. (When I had a place in Austin, I spent most of my time hanging out with other SA friends who had moved up there. Over three years, I didn't really make any good friends there, although I did do some dating.)

I've lived in cities that a lot of people love, like Chicago, Boston, and Minneapolis. I'd rather live in SA than any of them. But I'm in a good economic position, speak Spanish, and love Latin America, so SA feels very familiar and friendly to me. I've never experienced a speck of racism here from the majority-Hispanic community, but I'm also extremely friendly to everyone I meet. I suppose it could be really different for African-American people.

I do think that the urban core is an easier place to meet people, from folks on the block to the professional types at the Pearl and downtown.

Best of luck--sounds like it's time for a change of scenery for you!

[JuneOf48]

Oh yeah, I don't like Houston at all. I'm sure I could be happy there, but I vastly prefer SA, especially around the downtown area.

[beaste]

Originally Posted by JuneOf48

I feel for the OP, and it's refreshing to hear a genuine story of not liking SA that doesn't turn into a hyperbolic "THIS CITY SUCKS" thread. Some people just have bad luck in certain cities, for totally contingent reasons. I was lucky to meet a core group of good friends the very first night I went out in SA, the day I arrived. Just last night, I was hanging out with some long-term friends, and we were agreeing on how we've found people in this city to be sincerely interested in each other, in a way that we've never experienced in Austin. (When I had a place in Austin, I spent most of my time hanging out with other SA friends who had moved up there. Over three years, I didn't really make any good friends there, although I did do some dating.)

I've lived in cities that a lot of people love, like Chicago, Boston, and Minneapolis. I'd rather live in SA than any of them. But I'm in a good economic position, speak Spanish, and love Latin America, so SA feels very familiar and friendly to me. I've never experienced a speck of racism here from the majority-Hispanic community, but I'm also extremely friendly to everyone I meet. I suppose it could be really different for African-American people.

I do think that the urban core is an easier place to meet people, from folks on the block to the professional types at the Pearl and downtown.

Best of luck--sounds like it's time for a change of scenery for you!

Not to say that I haven't had positive experiences and met great people here. I have. Just illustrating my own personal experiences.

Most my gripes are not about dating here but rather about friends, social circles, and the overall way of life here.

[CoachBForThree]

Echoing some others, this is a great thread. Even the disagreements have been for the most part respectful and productive.

Beaste, as you and everyone has gathered, everything you've said is mostly true. That being said, you're probably also aware that even though SA in general has these issues moreso than most other cities, there are pockets of people like yourself that, if you met them, might make SA a viable and long-term place to live. And I'm not just referring to your race and how it relates to your hobbies and standing, although that does of course factor in.

My take is you only have a couple options .... one is to stay here and make a very strong effort to seek out and find these people who you'd fit with. Another is to move to another city and start fresh. What I specifically don't see as a good option is to stay and continue living as you have; the longer you do that, the more dissatisfied you'll become.

Best of luck dude!

[beaste]

Pearl area is awesome BTW.

[unintentionallyfunny]

Originally Posted by beaste

Pearl area is awesome BTW.

As are Southtown and Lower Broadway and River North.

[TXEX06]

I remember your Austin thread and southern California is calling your name.

[djhirokun]

I've been here for 4 years because of family. Getting ready to move out to Vegas. When asked why I don't like it here, I mention that I don't like Mexican food or the abundance supply of Spurs bootleg merchandise. I get so many odd looks. If you don't like either one of those two, people seem to shun you. I know I've had it happen to me at my current job. There's got to be more to San Antonio that just that.

[rynetwo]

Originally Posted by sapphire

beaste......meet L210.

Yes! That was my first thought!