San Antonio Off Topic Thread (Canyon Lake, Canyon: infant, planting, divorced)

[mojokitty]

Originally Posted by the_dimwit

Nothing obsessive or over-protective about it, mojokitty. I would have waited around, myself. Or, better yet, talked with the parent of the girl she was meeting to make sure everything was legit. A 12-year old girl has no business being dropped off at a public place without adult supervision of some kind. That goes for malls, movie theaters, etc.

Of course, I'm a young dad with two little girls at home, so my opinion is a bit biased. (My girls aren't dating until they're 30.)

--Dim

How old are you Dim? Just curious because you said young dad. My son is 3, so I know what you mean. It's easy to say what we WILL do when our kids are that age. I think if we stick to our guns and just parent like we want to, things will be fine. Like I said before. I'm hoping to try to keep open lines of communication with my son and let him know that he can always talk to his mama and trust her.

[Midorigreen]

Originally Posted by mojokitty

Yep, my hubby is into Xbox live, mostly because his friends are all over the country, being military. He said he gets these little kids trying to play with his friends and him. They talk nasty on there and he says things like "shouldn't you be in bed? or shouldn't you be in school?". haha He says, they are on there all times of day!

This is why I don't really agree with kids having TV's/Games/Computers in their bedrooms. Growing bodies need sleep - whether they think so or not!

My girls are going to think I'm such a drag....but whatevs!

[SanAntoQT]

Originally Posted by the_dimwit

Agreed, Sapphire. We should all pay attention to what our kids do online. Privacy or not, we have to protect the little ones. (For the record, I watch way too much Law & Order: SVU, so I'm even more paranoid these days.) Install keystroke loggers, web filters, restrict computer use to certain times of the day, move the computer into a public family space (living room, for example), keep computers out of the kids' rooms...could go on for days.

--Dim

I totally agree. My kids learned from a very young age that, while they were under my care and under the age of 18, they could forget about privacy. If I sensed something wasn't right, their rooms were open to my search and seizure.

The computer was kept in the living room, out in the open. I had passwords to all the sites they went into which required one and I would check history from time to time. Of course, I'm sure there were things I did miss, since I worked full-time and they would stay home alone, but that doesn't mean I didn't try to stay on top of things. I think too many parents are afraid to have their kids angry with them. Personally, I'd rather have had my kids "hate" me than have had to identify their bodies at the morgue.

[sapphire]

We have a game room that he plays his xbox live in--and we can hear everything. He has a laptop, but it's in the den where we all are. No tv in his room. We think we are on top of him.

[the_dimwit]

Originally Posted by mojokitty

How old are you Dim? Just curious because you said young dad. My son is 3, so I know what you mean. It's easy to say what we WILL do when our kids are that age. I think if we stick to our guns and just parent like we want to, things will be fine. Like I said before. I'm hoping to try to keep open lines of communication with my son and let him know that he can always talk to his mama and trust her.

Well, maybe I'm not that young...I'm 31. Sometimes I feel MUCH older, and sometimes I feel like I just turned 25.

My daughters are 4 and 1, so I've got a LONG way to go. I hear padded cells have nice air conditioning, though.

--Dim

[the_dimwit]

Kids will be kids. I still remember what it was like to have a parent "search" my room. It wasn't pleasant, but there was often a reason for it (not drugs). Kid do in fact tell lies to get what they want--the trick is getting them to understand that truth also works, but not every time.

--Dim

[gwrober]

Originally Posted by the_dimwit

To piggyback off of sapphire's post--many high school and college kids don't understand the rammifications of such pictures (bong smoking, heavy drinking, crazy parties, etc.) as far as future employment goes. Many HR departments search the Internet for a potential hire, focusing on MySpace and Facebook for the "good stuff." You'd be amazed what comes up when you just Google an email address or known username.

--Dim

We had an issue similar to this while I was working for the AF...Google was caching websites and for some reason EMAIL TRAFFIC. Huge security issue. They don't do it anymore.


On MySpace, etc: A friend of mine was talking with his then 13-14 yr old daughter about myspace. HER page was great, but it was her friend's page that was dangerous:

- plenty of pics of them in their cheerleading gear (now you know what school they went to)

- her profile listed all of her friend's names and some details, and some class info (now you know her schedule and are familiar with her friends)
- listed her parent's info, jobs, etc (now you can pretend you know her parents)
- and LOTS and LOTS of pics of her and her friends. (now you can pick her, or any of her friends, out of a crowd)

DANGEROUS. Her friend wouldn't change her page, but she did agree to remove the girl's pics because she told her she was uncomfortable with it. Kids just don't realize what danger they're putting themselves into these days, and the sickos are just getting worse and worse.....

[jules07]

Good morning.

Dang, I'm the OLD mom here. Reading thru all this morning's convo is pretty interesting. Coupla points/things that I've learned in my 23+ years of parenting:

- Yes, kids swear like crazy on xBox live. Believe me, they swear that much at school, too. Not that I don't jump ALL over my son when I hear it come out of HIS mouth, but I know it's not the only place he's hearing it, and it's not much/any worse than at school.

- Be careful about "judging" other parent's motives about how old is "old enough" to let them go to a store, or the mall, or even the library without adult supervision. I always try to think back to when I was that age ~ what was I allowed to do ~ and then balance it out based on the way society is today. (Note ~ I haven't read the story about the 12yog yet.......)

- And I know you're (mostly) joking about not letting your girls date till they're 30, dim. But if you knew my experience in that area, you'd understand why it ........ Iunno......... makes me cringe.

I've found out (the absolutely miserably sad, HARD way) that being too overprotective can back fire, too. Big time.

It's all about balance. I'm WAY far from a perfect parent! But balance is what I strive for these days.

Just my very, uber humble opinion.

[the_dimwit]

Excellent example, gwrober. It's important to show people how information can be inferred from a page, even if it's not their own.

+1 for that.

--Dim

[the_dimwit]

Originally Posted by jules07

Good morning.
- And I know you're (mostly) joking about not letting your girls date till their 30, dim. But if you knew my experience in that area, you'd understand why it ........ Iunno......... makes me cringe.

I'm totally kidding about that. My hope is that, over the next 10-15 years, I can instill enough in my children that I will be able to trust their decisionmaking ability. But, on the other hand, I will still be as concerned about their safety. I don't know your experience, Jules, but I had a friend who grew up with an over-protective mother. (He still had a 9pm curfew when he came home from college, all the way up to his senior year. ) Not a good situation.

--Dim