What don't you like about San Diego? (Oakland, Orange: wedding, university)

[10,000Lakes]

Originally Posted by BVitamin
"""I don't know whether this would classify as a San Diego thing but I've noticed whenever I drove down to SD, traffic on the freeways, all cars go the same speed in all the lanes. Usually happens around the Oceanside area, before the 805 forks off. Weird, indeed."""

It clogs up a lot near/in Oceanside because of Camp Pendelton. There are tons of people who live on base and there are only a few ways off the most popular route being the one right of the 5. Also, I think it clogs up a lot near the 78 exit since many people take that. After that it seems to open up a lot until the 805 split which is still around 20 miles I think. Except on Friday afternoon and all day saturdays!

[lrmsd]

And, for me, the opposite: Dislike how SD has grown, even in the last ten years...and has more traffic, more people, etc.
More meth and homelessness (growing problems everywhere).


Yet, you can still hike in the city or go to a beach in off season [sept-may] and have it practically to yourself....the beaches here are just amazing-so many choices, easy access, etc. And, true to CA, no private beaches. free parking.

sure, cuturally, it's not very vibrant-feeling (with the exception of a few neighborhoods-north park, univ. heights, mission hills, etc), esp. coming from NYC, LA or even SFO...but, if you want to live a low key, comfortable life....raise a family, hang out, etc. SD is top notch. (I come from NE originally, and have lived in CO, MT and overseas, as well as SFO.).

Okay, the 'food' in SD is pretty lame-chain restaurants and now with the whole 'foodie movement', you still have alot of mediocre places...places thinking they are 'trendy' and 'avant garde', when they are really just run of the mill-b/c, hey, everything has macademia crusted, panko breadcrumbs with grilled asparagus. Hint: this is NOT new.

Anyway.....other than that, it is what you make of it. You can find decent stuff, and it's actually pretty diverse-people just live their life, bbq, go out, etc. so it doesn't feel 'ethnic' in the way large cities do. And, it's spread out-very spread out-so you don't get 'enclaves' like in dense urban areas. Makes SD feel less 'diverse', so to speak. And, it doesn't have a vibrant feel. Lacks that kind of energy. Everything is 'pleasant', for the most part. But...LA is under two hours drive! And LA has great food!!! Really great. SFO is a short plane ride away-also great food.

Honestly, that's about all I can think of-growing air pollution and traffic is a down side, to me. But it's better than most metro areas-my husband doesn't use the freeway to get to work-he could bike. Most everywhere in SD proper is 'about 20 minutes' from everywhere else, including beaches. Oh, and like others said, it's expensive-but that's housing. Food is not much pricier than elsewhere....year round produce.
The only place I've lived with more and better produce is northern CA.

Anyway, I certainly don't hate these things-too much effort to hate them. lol
so, that's SD for you-it's hard to evoke strong feelings either way, is my opinion. But it's a really nice place and comfortable to live.

Ditto the comment about road conditions-potholes and shoddy patchwork are the norm here. I don't get it-it's a tourist town. But, SD has never been known for long term planning. It's just develop today for a quick buck for the contractor/city. It's also not the most politically 'active' place, if you are looking for college town vibe or protests/involvement-SD is not your place.

[lrmsd]

Originally Posted by sav858

Amen to that! haha

Damn, I understand the flakiness thing but I've never had it as bad as some people like you and others describe it as. That just sounds messed up; not calling back and blowing it off later would p*ss the hell out of me and I'd go off on people like that. I'd do that same anywhere else too. Maybe that's why I don't encounter that too much, my friends know better. I've managed to filter out people with that little of loyalty, morals, and character. I know I can be kind of aggro and blunt with people but it helps keep it real and filter out that flakes and BS'ers very well. I would never even attempt to deal with people with that little of respect.

I have not had that experience in SD at all!
Seriously-i lived here as a college student in 96, left for 5 yrs after meeting my husband (a SD native), and have been back in SD for 8 yrs now. And, in all my varied groups of meeting people, I've only had one flakey friend, and that was definitely her issue, not SD.

I have heard people say that, unlike the East coast, people here and in CA are superficial. [i'm from the NE, so I understand what they are comparing to], but to me, it's perfectly fine to simply have a nice chat with someone, be friendly, and never see or talk to them again. I don't consider it lame, just a different way of interacting/living one's life. But, if you want to have deep, abiding friendships, befriend a native [my husband's family and social circles and other native friends I know, have been intact for decades.]...otherwise, yea, east coast may be more your thing.

But, as far as having constant flakiness, I think that's just this commenter's personal experience. Or, maybe my experience is unique? But, I don't think so-as I haven't heard this from others. And I've hung out with people from different backgrounds, countries, etc. here in SD. Never had this issue. huh.

[lrmsd]

Originally Posted by Gentoo

Wow! It's not just me.

Again, i've NEVER had this experience, also in different, varied groups.
People have different chemistry/karma with different geographical locations-i'm convinced. Check out relocation astrology.
Anyway, having lived in several states myself, this is def. true.

[thepinksquid]

My only complaint is the cost of real estate/housing vs. salary potential. Considering the population, I don't find traffic to be that bad at all.

Other than that, I absolutely love it here in San Diego and can see myself living here for a very, very long time.

[ladysovereign]

Originally Posted by SoCalBrad

people say flakiness, but I've never had problems with it plus it can't just be a San Diego thing. Not everyone from the "heartland" is nice. My ex friend is from Missouri and she was a judgemental brat, so it works everywhere.
It is really annoying when people label the whole entire Middle America as "sweet" and "nice". That's just as ridiculous as labeling people on each coast as "mean" and "flaky". There are mean people everywhere and yes even in the "Heartland". There are mean and nice people in every city. You can't just label entire regions "nice" or "mean"

This is so very true! There really are mean and nice people everywhere! I was told everyone in NYC is snobby and nasty, yet everyone I dealt with there was genuinely nice. And not everyone in the Midwest is Fat, Happy and Friendly as people seem to generalize also!

[lrmsd]

Originally Posted by SoCalBrad

I apologized in that thread and haven't touched it since. Anyways I'm open to the fair crticisms of SD, but some of them are really off the wall like it's "full of rude people everywhere" "It lacks culture and intellectualism" Those are the kind of criticisms I take hard because they are simply not true and I don't want posters thinking of moving here seeing that and thinking that's how it is for real when those are off the wall statements.

I haven't read that thread, but unfortunately, rudeness is a growing trend everywhere, including SD. And, with SD growing, I have noticed that it's getting more fast paced and urban like, including atittudes that come with it. ):
Sad-my husband is a SD native, and you can feel the difference. I've been here 8yrs and i'ts changed.

For the not intellectual/cultural, SD has improved, and there have always been circles of literary and artistic works...but SD is so laid back, it doesn't go all in your face with it. And SD is spread out, so you don't find it all in one neighborhood. oh yea, and many world class dance troupes/companies relocated from the bay area several years ago, due to out of control rents...so you will most def. find top notch arts in SD. Just not pervasive nor readily apparent to a visitor.

However, honestly, SD is NOT very intellectual like the NE-boston, NY, etc. Sorry-it's just too laid back and people are enjoying their life here. [don't get me wrong, there's a place for this. ANd I'm one of those people enjoying my life here...but as someone from the NE originally, and lived in SFO prior, so cal as a whole is more about image or lifestyle, and less about substance. Sure, UCSD and UCLA certainly have some great stuff happening, but as a culture, this area lacks intellectual substance. You can feel it walking around, vs. going to harvard square. And, yes, I know there's alot of pseudo intellectualism in the world today...but just for contrast, I'm agreeing with this criticism of SD.

I, however, do not think of it as a negative. I think SD is just fine doing what it does best: Being SD. It wouldn't be SD if it was more like NYC, or Seattle, or SFO, or LA, etc. It really bugs when people say SD is like LA's poor little sibling. Makes no sense-like SD's entire raison d'etre is to become LA?

Anyway, for posters who are thinking of moving, the best scenario is to come visit and see if it resonates. SD is unique, just as other cities are. You have to do the cost-benefit analysis, and decide if the trade offs are worth it. [and yes, there are tradeoffs. Again, you don't have to see it as a criticism. It's a subjective, personal decision based on factual criteria. Ie, SD is not super intellectual, relative to city X. personal decision: will that work for me?]

[ladysovereign]

Originally Posted by lrmsd

I haven't read that thread, but unfortunately, rudeness is a growing trend everywhere, including SD. And, with SD growing, I have noticed that it's getting more fast paced and urban like, including atittudes that come with it. ):
Sad-my husband is a SD native, and you can feel the difference. I've been here 8yrs and i'ts changed.

An ex-boss of mine who lives in San Diego has described her experience dealing with people as "cold and unfriendly" and she's "unable to make lasting friendships". Could that be the "rudeness" that others claim to experience in SD?

[Deja Vu Again]

I live here because I have to for the time being. I wouldn't choose it though. I'm nearly 41 years old and would like a little more excitment then what SD can provide.

I find San Diego homogenous and bland. Very vanilla and spread out. I'm not into surfing or Taco Tuesdays for that matter so that kills alot of the "culture" for me

I miss seasons so the weather can bore me to tears at times. I live in North County so it seems even less exciting here. Finding a job has been so challenging that I am close to giving up. I am APPALLED at what some of these jobs pay. Even when I do find work, I don't think Ill be able to advance my career much here.

I'm just doing my "time" for now. I guess you can say living in SD is like living with a frat boy that doesn't want to grow up.

OTOH its a GREAT place to visit especially if you are from Minnesota

I do find the people very friendly here though.

[Oerdin]

Originally Posted by ladysovereign

An ex-boss of mine who lives in San Diego has described her experience dealing with people as "cold and unfriendly" and she's "unable to make lasting friendships". Could that be the "rudeness" that others claim to experience in SD?

It tends, in my experience, to break down along the lines of if someone is a native or a transplant. The natives tend to be pretty darn friendly while the transplants often take the social mores of their native state here with them.