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I feel there are positives and negatives. The weather is nice, it is so pretty here, people are mostly friendly, and there is a lot to do. Great food too.
That alone has sold most on wanting to live in SD.
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However, it is very expensive here, and tends to be materialistic. A lot of people here are rather conservative, and San Diego is not as diverse as I would like.
I've lived in large cities all over the world. SD rent/food/basic COL is not as expensive as NYC, Boston, London & a handful of large Scandinavian cities I've lived. Perhaps you've lived in smaller towns or less expensive states & are comparing COL to those?
Of course, quality of life does depend upon, first & foremost, personal attitude, then your circle of neighbors, coworkers & friends... but in 2-yrs of living in downtown SD & travelling throughout SD County, overall, I'd say it's far less materialistic than most other places I've been. There are pockets of less open-minded folks everywhere, or materialistic, or clannish. In fact, lack of materialism is what made SD so refreshing to me. With the nomadic life I've had, it's the only place I've ever called home & felt that way from the moment I'd arrived.
In regard to your previous post, saying the L.A. area is too whitebread & also complaining that SD isn't diverse... firstly, you must have a different definition of diverse. Both cities have large populations of white, Asian, Hispanic. Are you assuming all white people are the same? If so, that's sad. Even if a city had a predominate white population, as a white woman, I have struggled to find other whites of like mind... to me, meaning my neighbors in those cases, have made it diverse. It's unfair to say all of x are the same, isn't it? I'm curious, would you say a predominately Asian neighborhood is lacking in diversity? A black neighborhood? Hispanic? Or, are you saying only white neighborhoods lack diversity? Maybe you're judging people too much by appearance, rather than taking the time to absorb their cultures or know them personally?
As another said, it sounds as if SD or perhaps CA in general isn't for you. We moved from SD to Denver (for the SO's work) 3-mos ago & will be back in Sept... every single day we bring up returning to CA & are literally counting the days 'til we return. Denver is filled with lovely people, things to do, etc... we just love SoCal for all the reasons you stated when you began this post. So... it sounds as if you're more unhappy with your life's situation that any particular place? Just some food for thought. Good luck & be happy.
That alone has sold most on wanting to live in SD.
I've lived in large cities all over the world. SD rent/food/basic COL is not as expensive as NYC, Boston, London & a handful of large Scandinavian cities I've lived. Perhaps you've lived in smaller towns or less expensive states & are comparing COL to those?
Of course, quality of life does depend upon, first & foremost, personal attitude, then your circle of neighbors, coworkers & friends... but in 2-yrs of living in downtown SD & travelling throughout SD County, overall, I'd say it's far less materialistic than most other places I've been. There are pockets of less open-minded folks everywhere, or materialistic, or clannish. In fact, lack of materialism is what made SD so refreshing to me. With the nomadic life I've had, it's the only place I've ever called home & felt that way from the moment I'd arrived.
In regard to your previous post, saying the L.A. area is too whitebread & also complaining that SD isn't diverse... firstly, you must have a different definition of diverse. Both cities have large populations of white, Asian, Hispanic. Are you assuming all white people are the same? If so, that's sad. Even if a city had a predominate white population, as a white woman, I have struggled to find other whites of like mind... to me, meaning my neighbors in those cases, have made it diverse. It's unfair to say all of x are the same, isn't it? I'm curious, would you say a predominately Asian neighborhood is lacking in diversity? A black neighborhood? Hispanic? Or, are you saying only white neighborhoods lack diversity? Maybe you're judging people too much by appearance, rather than taking the time to absorb their cultures or know them personally?
As another said, it sounds as if SD or perhaps CA in general isn't for you. We moved from SD to Denver (for the SO's work) 3-mos ago & will be back in Sept... every single day we bring up returning to CA & are literally counting the days 'til we return. Denver is filled with lovely people, things to do, etc... we just love SoCal for all the reasons you stated when you began this post. So... it sounds as if you're more unhappy with your life's situation that any particular place? Just some food for thought. Good luck & be happy.
I didn't say LA is whitebread. I said OC and San Diego, but especially OC are. Even with the large Latino population in San Diego, it still isn't as diverse as other large cities. As for the high COL, I've lived in DC, which is also expensive, as well as Honolulu. I'm saying that San Diego is also very expensive. I never said it was the most expensive city ever.
As for the second thing I bolded in your post, yes, I would say it wouldn't be diverse. In DC, I lived in a neighborhood where there were Asians, Middle Easterners, African diplomats, White people and South Americans in the same neighborhood. You'd never find this in SoCal. While it's not "segregated" in terms of how the South was in the '60s, and perhaps not for racist reasons, SoCal IS segregated in terms of neighborhoods, as your post implied in terms of "Asian neighborhood", etc. In DC, you'd have people from different ethnic backgrounds with various socio-economic backgrounds. This is not so in SoCal. Most of the wealthy in OC or San Diego are White republicans. Most of the poor are Black or Latino. The poor population and rich population in DC was much more mixed. There was definitely more culture there as well, and it wasn't as conservative as OC and San Diego. So yes, I would say that SoCal is not diverse, except for LA.
As for your comment on "you think all White people are the same", I never said that. I KNOW this isn't the case, as I've lived all over the country. OF COURSE members of one race aren't all the same. What I said is that, racially, San Diego and OC aren't very diverse. And politically, it isn't very diverse either, given that most people in OC vote republican, and San Diego, while more liberal than OC, is also rather conservative.
As for your statement about "SoCal not being for you", you're right. I've lived here for a while, and enjoyed many things about it. San Diego has a lot of positives. But you're absolutely right that SoCal isn't for me, which is why I made my original post on this thread.
In DC, you'd have people from different ethnic backgrounds with various socio-economic backgrounds. This is not so in SoCal. Most of the wealthy in OC or San Diego are White republicans. Most of the poor are Black or Latino. The poor population and rich population in DC was much more mixed. There was definitely more culture there as well, and it wasn't as conservative as OC and San Diego. So yes, I would say that SoCal is not diverse, except for LA.
Isn't LA probably 80-90 percent of SoCal?
Also regarding the diversity in your DC neighborhood. . .theres quite a few of those you described in SD County. Back in my middle school days in Rancho Penasquitos (Black Mountain=stereotypically white) I remember having an equally Asian (Filipino, Chinese) and white balanced home room class. Some Iranian newcomers, an Ethiopian (a crazy last name I could never pronounce or spell), a Japanese newcomer, an Italian exchange student and a couple Samoans. That pretty much covers most of the globe besides Latin America doesn't it? Like your DC neighborhood. And this was, what, almost thirty years ago. And San Diego is even more diverse today.
I suggest you quit yer nit picking. Move and stop being miserable.
That's nice to hear. However, it still lacks the diversity I'M looking for, and pales in comparison to the general diversity in DC. I am looking to move on. I never said I was miserable, I said SD is far from perfect, so I'd appreciate it if you cut the attitude.
As for your statement about "SoCal not being for you", you're right. I've lived here for a while, and enjoyed many things about it. San Diego has a lot of positives. But you're absolutely right that SoCal isn't for me, which is why I made my original post on this thread.
You've misunderstood a bit of what I've said & taken another bit out of context, but it's not worth having a hash-out. All in all, as you've realized yourself, SoCal isn't for you. Nothing wrong in that. Also, if everyone who liked it moved there, the US would tip left & CA, OR & WA would fall into the ocean.
Out of all the places I've lived across the world, the only place I've ever lived & disliked so strongly I'd never return was Boston. Unfortunately for me, that's where I also lived the longest as I had some family & property there. It's considered one of the greatest cities of the world, but so much depends upon COL, salary vs COL, neighbors & in which neighborhood one resides, commuting time, work, relationships/friendships/coworkers/bosses, downtime & what one can afford to do in it... all of those were negatives for me & I could go on for 2 War & Peace sized books, plus an extended volume. But many love that city. They obviously had thoroughly different experiences & perhaps are vastly different people where some of the things which were disagreeable to me were of no interest or concern for them. Fair enough. But, I left when I could & don't spend 1 day of my life or 1 moment of any day thinking about Boston or my past life there. I'm gone. I'm glad. I'm never going back... not even as a tourist. If my plane has a stop or layover there, I'm gonna be Madhatter bonkers.
I do know, however, that if I venture over to the Boston board & write the above, hardcore Bostonians will give me a rabid tongue lashing, write surly, sarcastic responses & chase me out of the forum with lighted torches. (So, please, shhhhh...) They're a surly lot... & you can tell them I've said so... Honestly, a public forum is where one can voice opinions & those who've disagreed with you in this thread have done so with respect & a far more friendly attitude than I'd expect from er, umm... other towns. I'm grateful to see that, as it only reinforces my personal views & experiences with SoCal & it's inhabitants... that it's home for me.
When I first arrived, I found some very helpful posters on the SD board who helped me with local directions, recommendations & overall opinions... TonySD, Shmoov, ClevelandGal, AngryTaxPayer, Hitman, JenKay & a handful more whose full monikers don't come to mind quickly enough as I write. But, I will tell you that you're wrong in assuming such vast counties, Orange, SD or otherwise, don't have something you'd find agreeable & could nicely settle into. You have a tendency to over-generalize, imho. As an example, TonySD lived next door to me... maybe he'll pop in & give his views, which are normally spot on... our apt complex, which borders on the downtown/Gaslamp/Seaport/Marina neighborhoods in SD were very diverse in color, age, country of origin, sexual orientation, etc. Just walking 2 blocks to Ralph's I used to say, "I saw one of everything".
In any event, I hope you'll either return to D.C., which you seem to like, or as your moniker suggests, perhaps HI. My SO lived in HI & loves it, but, I'm dragging him back to SoCal just as soon as our lease expires. Fortunately, after a dip in the LaJolla waves, a cocktail on Coronado Island & a bite to eat in Little Italy, I made him fall in love with SD. Best of luck to you. I hope you find your new home soon.
I do like SoCal, and will spend many vacations here when I move. I'm sure you're right that I can find somewhere here to live. I really love LA, even more than NYC (overrated IMO). But it's too sprawled and dirty, and rather expensive. I would like to experience somewhere new. I wish you luck here in San Diego, and am glad you like it.
That's nice to hear. However, it still lacks the diversity I'M looking for, and pales in comparison to the general diversity in DC. I am looking to move on. I never said I was miserable, I said SD is far from perfect, so I'd appreciate it if you cut the attitude.
Wait a minute.
You say that San Diego isn't diverse, and then you talk about how DC is more diverse?
You've GOT to be kidding me.
There are more black people in the DC area than here, but there are fewer Latinos and Asians.
Off the top of my head, I think in the DC area, the population is about 10-15 percent Latino, around the same for black people, and about five percent Asian.
Here, the Latino population is about a third, Asians are 15 percent, and black people are about five.
And I won't even go into the self segregation that goes on in DC.
I do like SoCal, and will spend many vacations here when I move. I'm sure you're right that I can find somewhere here to live. I really love LA, even more than NYC (overrated IMO). But it's too sprawled and dirty, and rather expensive. I would like to experience somewhere new. I wish you luck here in San Diego, and am glad you like it.
Hawaii... I normally don't look at profiles (just never think of it), but I did click on yours & see you're a high school lad. Being from a military family & coming from such a wonderfully rich & diverse background, you've got a lot going for you... yet I do understand your need to feel as if you fit in. That's normal for most, especially at your age.
I've lived all over the world... 4 continents, 7 countries (2 where English wasn't spoken... in fact, English is my 3rd language although I was born in the US) & 9 states, so I can empathize with feeling out of sorts at times. No matter where I've lived, people continually ask me where I'm from... my accent is different, I look different, dress differently, etc... I just get a plethora of comments about how I seem as if I'm not from 'here', wherever that happens to be. Also, I'm white, but a mix of 3 nationalities (2 very rare), so have always felt under scrutiny by others trying to figure me out but not succeeding. It was about your age when I decided to not let it bother me anymore. People still ask me, almost daily, where I'm from... I normally just tell them the last place I've lived, otherwise I feel as if I'm being interviewed, but also, I've learned to feel grateful that they've noticed & are interested enough to ask.
With your incredible background, I was thinking what a great opportunity you have to be an inspiration to other students, particularly younger ones or foreign exchange students, who feel a bit awkward, normal at their ages, for the former & in their situations, or the latter. We all find middle & high school challenging in one way or another. If you've a penchant to write, speak, play music, sing, act, dance, write poetry, paint... what a great teaching tool you've got to reach others to help them feel more comfortable in their own skins. Perhaps reaching out to others in an inspiration way, teaching, guiding or performing, either through your school or community group, will help you to feel more as if you fit in, as well. I've moved around enough to know that when I don't like a place I'm in, accepting the positive & fun things about it, until I can move on, is far more comfortable than rattling over in my head how much I dislike it (& I've done the latter, too... it doesn't feel good).
I realize this is a bit off-topic, but your frustration is felt & experienced by many. The best way to rid oneself of it is to act upon it, in whichever way would make you feel better. You've a whole lifetime ahead of you, many rich opportunities & many places you can explore. Best of luck! Keep us posted on the positive things you find along the way.
There's more Asians in the DC Area, and self-segregation? I never experienced any. Here in San Diego, people I walk past don't even say "hello" or "how are you?". Neighborhoods are segregated here as well.
Besides, I'm not just talked racial diversity. Religious diversity, socio-economic diversity, and diversity of though are ALL far superior there!
Hawaii... I normally don't look at profiles (just never think of it), but I did click on yours & see you're a high school lad. Being from a military family & coming from such a wonderfully rich & diverse background, you've got a lot going for you... yet I do understand your need to feel as if you fit in. That's normal for most, especially at your age.
I've lived all over the world... 4 continents, 7 countries (2 where English wasn't spoken... in fact, English is my 3rd language although I was born in the US) & 9 states, so I can empathize with feeling out of sorts at times. No matter where I've lived, people continually ask me where I'm from... my accent is different, I look different, dress differently, etc... I just get a plethora of comments about how I seem as if I'm not from 'here', wherever that happens to be. Also, I'm white, but a mix of 3 nationalities (2 very rare), so have always felt under scrutiny by others trying to figure me out but not succeeding. It was about your age when I decided to not let it bother me anymore. People still ask me, almost daily, where I'm from... I normally just tell them the last place I've lived, otherwise I feel as if I'm being interviewed, but also, I've learned to feel grateful that they've noticed & are interested enough to ask.
With your incredible background, I was thinking what a great opportunity you have to be an inspiration to other students, particularly younger ones or foreign exchange students, who feel a bit awkward, normal at their ages, for the former & in their situations, or the latter. We all find middle & high school challenging in one way or another. If you've a penchant to write, speak, play music, sing, act, dance, write poetry, paint... what a great teaching tool you've got to reach others to help them feel more comfortable in their own skins. Perhaps reaching out to others in an inspiration way, teaching, guiding or performing, either through your school or community group, will help you to feel more as if you fit in, as well. I've moved around enough to know that when I don't like a place I'm in, accepting the positive & fun things about it, until I can move on, is far more comfortable than rattling over in my head how much I dislike it (& I've done the latter, too... it doesn't feel good).
I realize this is a bit off-topic, but your frustration is felt & experienced by many. The best way to rid oneself of it is to act upon it, in whichever way would make you feel better. You've a whole lifetime ahead of you, many rich opportunities & many places you can explore. Best of luck! Keep us posted on the positive things you find along the way.
Thanks for your kind words! I can also relate to the "interview" thing you talked about. My dad's a Russian Jew, my mom's Black, Native American and Irish, and people often ask "what are you?" or think I'm Polynesian or Asian because of how I look (LOL).
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Just some food for thought. Good luck & be happy. 
Honestly, a public forum is where one can voice opinions & those who've disagreed with you in this thread have done so with respect & a far more friendly attitude than I'd expect from er, umm... other towns. I'm grateful to see that, as it only reinforces my personal views & experiences with SoCal & it's inhabitants... that it's home for me. 
I normally just tell them the last place I've lived, otherwise I feel as if I'm being interviewed, but also, I've learned to feel grateful that they've noticed & are interested enough to ask. 
