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Pedro, thank you for your concern and I do totally understand that the grass is not always greener on the other side. It's always nice to have someone reason with me without always agreeing with me.
My entire life, I have been living in Idaho for almost 10 years. Part of it was because I have been scared to leave my comfort zone (secured job and life style) to go anywhere until recently that I can't do that anymore. Boise sucks up all my energy to enjoy life. I hate the cold weather, and I hate I have to drive 7 hours to land at oregon coast. It's very outdoor state/city, but I don't enjoy mountains and skiing or camping that much. Job market is great here. This state is pretty "white" state (I am not against white people at all, I just want diversity - speaking of which, I am gay. Diverse culture and food = yum). I want city atmosphere, great weather and just minutes from the beach. I love san diego zoo and I enjoy surfing and beach very much. As long as I have these, living frugal would not be that bad and I'm willing to spend money on gas to get to those places. As AZ2SD said "most of the leisure activities can be enjoyed for free" I do agree with that. I have been to 29 states in the US, each time, I saved a lot of money traveling and enjoy free activities each state/city has to offer. I have been scoping out where I want to live and SD is the only one that seems to fit my need. I considered Houston Texas but was there and didn't seem I would enjoy living there. I have to admit though I am indeed worried about the job market in SD.
I think Pedro makes some good points as always.
Along the lines of what Pedro is mentioning, I do NOT think it's realistic for people to budget for the best case scenarios. I mean, it's not exactly realistic or wise to say that you'll just eat cereal. (I know you are kidding...but you know what I mean). I know tons of people that have moved to different cities and even different countries and the biggest cardinal 'sin' I've seen people make that move from lower cost of living areas to higher cost of living areas is to say they will cut weigh back on their spending, etc.
That isn't wise because people often times try to almost justify in their head some fantasy budget. Or they will leave TONS of basic things off their budget or want to almost forget about them. I've mentioned it dozens of times but ANYONE wanting to make the move here should make a very detailed spreadsheet with EVERY single expense that you currently are spending.
And don't cut back anything that you are currently spending. If you go out a lot to restaurants, dates, entertainment, etc. Then add that all in. Don't unreasonably try to justify to yourself that you won't do it here.
Now granted, there ARE a lot of free things to do here. Going to the beach, hiking, and many other things don't cost a penny. But it's not realistic or practical to leave off things off your budget or say you will only eat cereal or cut back on your dining budget. Or if you say you like to travel then budget in a vacation or travel budget because it's probably not realistic if you love traveling that you will cut that out of your budget.
I equate it to a chain smoker that spends a fortune on cigarettes in one city but then budgets for no smoking in another city even though they are still smoking! LOL. Get my point? Just be totally realistic.
I'm totally not saying that you shouldn't move here. Not at all. Quite the contrary, I think if you are a gay male you will really love San Diego. I have a few gay friends and clients here in San Diego and they really love it here. San Diego is an open and accepting city for gay males.
Just be totally realistic with your budget. The great thing is you have a decent amount of savings. I'd just say be totally honest and realistic on budget as it sounds like initially you left a ton of things off your budget.
If you are a gay male you are going to love Hillcrest and San Diego. But having lived in Mission Hills for a bit and frequenting the whole foods and other shops in Hillcrest, the reality is many of the men and women in Hillcrest seem to have tons and tons of money. If you think of South Beach and Miami and the gay community there, you will know many (not just the gay population) are loaded. Everybody else hates South Beach because its too crowded and they can't afford it. Hillcrest is really a smaller version away from the beach of that. Lots of parades. Lots of little nightclubs, and lots of people who seem to party every night. I honestly think Hillcrest is better for gay men then gay women as most of the clubs seem geared more toward the male population.
But in one sense you are going to love it as I don't know what the gay community is like in Idaho. It' s probably not as diverse as California. But San Diego , especially places like Hillcrest and the beaches, are filled with men and women, gay and straight, who either have money or pretend to have money, and who spend a ton of time at the gyms. They also spend a ton of time at nightclubs. I imagine you are going to go from a place, as you say, makes you feel locked down, to a place that offers you far more freedom to do whatever you want.
Maybe you aren't a party kind of guy, but like anybody who moves from a relatively smaller community to a larger one where there are far more options, you are going to get lost in the shuffle at first. And you should. But you'll probably spend money doing so. You say you like Hillcrest and Hillcrest is filled with restaurants and bars. All places that cost money. And many of them aren't all that cheap when it comes to food and drinks. You can cut back and not go to most of those expensive places, but again, if you are coming to the 'big city' so to speak from a smaller community where you feel locked down, the freedom is going to overwhelm you a bit. So it's better to think in terms of "i'll probably spend more than I should the first few months just because..."
The other part about it being "white" in Idaho is kind of funny. There are plenty of people from places like Miami and even Los Angles who say the same thing about San Diego. San diego is really latinos and white. You have pockets of African Americans, but they make up something like 6 or 7 percent and in many places you won't see african americans at all. There are Indians and Asians, but its not like San Fran or Seattle. The truth is, San diego isn't all that culturally diverse. It's not some small town in the middle of nowhere, but it's not even close to LA or SF or NYC or even Seattle. In many areas you will see mostly white people. If you are tired of that in Idaho, not sure what you'll think of it in San diego.
If you are a gay male you are going to love Hillcrest and San Diego. But having lived in Mission Hills for a bit and frequenting the whole foods and other shops in Hillcrest, the reality is many of the men and women in Hillcrest seem to have tons and tons of money. If you think of South Beach and Miami and the gay community there, you will know many (not just the gay population) are loaded. Everybody else hates South Beach because its too crowded and they can't afford it. Hillcrest is really a smaller version away from the beach of that. Lots of parades. Lots of little nightclubs, and lots of people who seem to party every night. I honestly think Hillcrest is better for gay men then gay women as most of the clubs seem geared more toward the male population.
But in one sense you are going to love it as I don't know what the gay community is like in Idaho. It' s probably not as diverse as California. But San Diego , especially places like Hillcrest and the beaches, are filled with men and women, gay and straight, who either have money or pretend to have money, and who spend a ton of time at the gyms. They also spend a ton of time at nightclubs. I imagine you are going to go from a place, as you say, makes you feel locked down, to a place that offers you far more freedom to do whatever you want.
I have tons and tons of gay clients. And they actually do have money. The thing with my gay friends and especially clients is all of these people are typically well educated, have decent/great jobs, making fairly good salaries, and they don't have kids and never will. They don't have to worry about school districts, college savings plans, upgrading into a bigger place, expensive activities for the kids, etc.
So they actually do have a fairly good amount of disposable income. Almost all my gay friends and clients are married so they have dual incomes as well so it's just double the money with none of the responsibilities or expenses of worrying about kids. The ones in San Diego that I know are no exception to this.
If you are coming from Idaho something tells me you will be in for some fun times in San Diego.
I have tons and tons of gay clients. And they actually do have money. The thing with my gay friends and especially clients is all of these people are typically well educated, have decent/great jobs, making fairly good salaries, and they don't have kids and never will. They don't have to worry about school districts, college savings plans, upgrading into a bigger place, expensive activities for the kids, etc.
So they actually do have a fairly good amount of disposable income. Almost all my gay friends and clients are married so they have dual incomes as well so it's just double the money with none of the responsibilities or expenses of worrying about kids. The ones in San Diego that I know are no exception to this.
If you are coming from Idaho something tells me you will be in for some fun times in San Diego.
But this is what I'm trying to say to the OP. Hillcrest is filled with people who have a lot of disposable income to frequent restaurants and bars and clubs and gyms and clothing stores. If the OP strikes up conversations and forms relationships with a lot of people there, he's going to either be left out or try to keep up with his new friends. And there goes that budget.
And really places like San Diego and Miami are also filled with lots of pretenders who try to keep up with their friends or pretend friends. So you have people with tons of disposable income and people who dump their entire paycheck just to impress others. This isn't just a San Diego thing, but it is one of those "Move from small town to big city" kind of things.
But this is what I'm trying to say to the OP. Hillcrest is filled with people who have a lot of disposable income to frequent restaurants and bars and clubs and gyms and clothing stores. If the OP strikes up conversations and forms relationships with a lot of people there, he's going to either be left out or try to keep up with his new friends. And there goes that budget.
And really places like San Diego and Miami are also filled with lots of pretenders who try to keep up with their friends or pretend friends. So you have people with tons of disposable income and people who dump their entire paycheck just to impress others. This isn't just a San Diego thing, but it is one of those "Move from small town to big city" kind of things.
But look on the bright side. Maybe the OP will find a rich San Diego 'sugar daddy' to take care of him. Ha, ha. (Just kidding).
But seriously, yes I do know what you're talking about Pedro. I've seen the same thing in other cities. Especially with people moving from a lower COL smaller city to more expensive and more exciting bigger city.
That's why I also mentioned, to budget to spend more not less than he is now. San Diego is NO Idaho.
Last edited by earlyretirement; 06-11-2013 at 08:55 PM..
But look on the bright side. Maybe the OP will find a rich San Diego 'sugar daddy' to take care of him. Ha, ha. (Just kidding).
But seriously, yes I do know what you're talking about Pedro. I've seen the same thing in other cities. Especially with people moving from a lower COL smaller city to more expensive and more exciting bigger city.
That's why I also mentioned, to budget to spend more not less than he is now. San Diego is NO Idaho.
Sugar daddy? lol that's possible haha.... aside from jokes, I do realize that SD is way more expensive than Idaho, and that's why I created this thread in the first place to ask about expenses. I appreciate all the answers. But moving there is not mainly because of gay things per say, hillcrest is still debatable if I want to live there or not. But the whole thing is because I cannot find another major city that is warm, has city atmosphere and can allow me to surf and few minutes from strolling at the beach. I love honolulu but way too far to go main land. Houston is not ideal, Miami was good but hurricane scares me. SD has natural disaster too but I just have to trade of that :-) Have any other cities to recommend? hehe.......
I am originally from Indiana a small town middle of no where, then I moved to Boise for school due to scholarship, and I was in shock because boise is bigger than where I was from LOL so I understand how it feels to move from small town to big city and it takes time to get used to it.
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