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I think it is easier to make friends with others who are not from the area because you are dealing with the same thing. Most 'locals' (this goes for every place I have lived) still have those home and family ties and aren't usually dealing with the same things and often (not always) don't have the same need for new friends in their lives. They also (sometimes I've found) may have a very different world view as people that have never left home and family.
This is actually one of the appealing things about SD to me, I was checking out meetup groups last night and it just seems like there will be more people my age looking to get out and meet friends who don't already have tons of connections from high school, college, etc. At least more than here in Ventura where there are more born/bred Ventura County people.
Jersey people though, I think are in a class by themselves
The family/friends thing is true anywhere you move. Some people can do it and some can't. It's personal and something everyone has to weigh for themselves and certainly not unique to moving to San Diego. Many people are better off after leaving where they came from (such as myself) and if you try, you can make new friends and continue to evolve in your life -- and its easier than ever to stay in touch. It's a personal decision and different people will have differing levels of difficulty with it -- but most healthy families won't lay guilt trips on children or family members trying to better themselves -- if they are than that right there is a good reason to put some distance between them....but that is my opinion.
In regards to the outdoors -- that is very judgemental as well. Perhaps some people are not but if that is what you do its what you do. To some people it is a huge deal and to be able to enjoy the weather (or not think about it) year round in CA makes a big difference in fitness, mood, and well being for many. Not everyone likes to snowshoe or ski -- then again most places its cold and not enough snow anyway. To suggest everyone who is "outdoorsy" will have just as much quality of life in Iowa year round as they would in Southern California is pretty absurd.
While its true that some people aren't happy anywhere, its not a fair blanket answer that most people should just stay where they are cause its no different.
It's like saying anyone could be happy in Detroit.... everyone is different and for some people the geography, the politics, the city, the activities available there...it all can make a difference to happiness.
I can certainly testify that I get out more year round in CA compared to what I did in Illinois. And its very exciting to me the different micro climates and geographies I can visit which were not available to me easily before. And I do take advantage of it quite a bit, as much as I can afford even by myself. no friends or family along.
It's not a blanket statement. I just hear a lot of people who throw out the "i love the outdoors" statement and then make excuse after excuse why they can't do any of that where they are from or came from. The reality is it's not cold 365 days a year in most places. And maybe you hate the winters and stay inside. But if you like the outdoors and like to hike and like to camp, you'll find ways to do it no matter where you live. I love San Diego and love living here, but at the end of the day, I found plenty of outdoor activities to do no matter where I lived.
It's never really about a place. Yes, there are a lot of great things about San diego, but it's not going to suddenly make you rich or make you happier 24/7. Like I said, if you love the outdoors, you pretty much can find outdoor activities to do no matter where you live in the world. If you find excuses on why you don't do them, just moving to San Diego isn't going to suddenly make you an outdoor kind of person.
A person from NJ complaining about their life is probably still going to be the same person in San Diego complaining about their life. People just assume the grass is always greener.
There are no blanket statements. I didn't like NJ and would never move back. But at the end of the day, I still found a lot of good things to do, good friends, and enjoyed most of my time there while I was there. Same goes for every place I've been. I prefer San Diego and don't want to move, but at the end of the day, San Diego is more like the icing on the cake. Somebody who needs San Diego to be the perfect everything and be all end all of what makes them happy, most likely is going to be somebody who starts complaining about all the bad things in San Diego in a year.
Like I said, whether you live in NJ, Iowa, Miami, South America, or wherever, if you like doing outdoor things, you're going to find a way to do those things. If you don't, you don't. No big deal. But to say you love the outdoors, but cant' do it in Place A, B, C, and D and you will do it all the time in San Diego, is just setting yourself up for disaster. It doesn't snow in NJ 365 days a year.
Like I said, whether you live in NJ, Iowa, Miami, South America, or wherever, if you like doing outdoor things, you're going to find a way to do those things. If you don't, you don't. No big deal. But to say you love the outdoors, but cant' do it in Place A, B, C, and D and you will do it all the time in San Diego, is just setting yourself up for disaster. It doesn't snow in NJ 365 days a year.
If you love doing outdoor things, you're probably right. I have to say, though, that I do WAY more outdoor things here than I did back on the East Coast (lived previously in PA, VA, and RI). I hate humidity, and I just didn't want to be in it. The amount of stuff I do outside in the summer here dwarfs what I did back East, where if it wasn't in water, I wasn't doing it.
San Diegans also underestimate how much bad weather plays a part in plan making elsewhere in the country. From April to October you never have to wonder "is it going to rain today?" and ruin your plans. It's roulette in the northeast - - you make your plans for Saturday, it rains on Saturday, you don't get outside. Here, 95 times out of 100 the weather won't get in the way of what you're planning to do.
I'm from Illinois. Half the year it's cold and dark (with a few exceptions and mostly we'd run outside for those days). the snow actually provides some recreation opportunity but the ground is not covered for very long at a time which is why places like MN offer more winter recreation in Illinois, unless you like to hunt there is not much to do. I also used to ice skate but its hard with all the snowmobilers around messing up the ice. There are no mountains there, there is NOTHING to do for a good portion of the year outdoors except for the occasional winter hike when you feel like braving it, or hunting and stuff that not everyone likes to do. I'm not sure why this is hard to understand as it absolutely means there is less to do for an "outdoorsy" person especially depending on their particular interests. I like the outdoors that doesn't mean I like snowmobiles or fishing. I like hiking. you can easily do that year round here. Same with many other things that are simply not options elsewhere.
Again there is not even enough snow most of the time in most places to make for winter recreation, much less topography. Things like biking are downright hazardous half the time with ice, sleet, snow or rain. Trails might be too muddy in the spring or simply not maintained at all in winter due to snow and ice.
I'm an outdoors person and believe me, there's a good portion of time your holed up. This is why Midwesterners often head FURTHER north in the winter, there is at least snow if you want to do snow sports.
If you love doing outdoor things, you're probably right. I have to say, though, that I do WAY more outdoor things here than I did back on the East Coast (lived previously in PA, VA, and RI). I hate humidity, and I just didn't want to be in it. The amount of stuff I do outside in the summer here dwarfs what I did back East, where if it wasn't in water, I wasn't doing it.
San Diegans also underestimate how much bad weather plays a part in plan making elsewhere in the country. From April to October you never have to wonder "is it going to rain today?" and ruin your plans. It's roulette in the northeast - - you make your plans for Saturday, it rains on Saturday, you don't get outside. Here, 95 times out of 100 the weather won't get in the way of what you're planning to do.
exactly, i agree with this post, like today its hot and humid and grey here on the east coast where i love, so i dont want to get outside, yesterday i couldn't go on with my outdoor plans because it rained the entire day. so many times we cancel plans here because of the weather. that is all.
yeah I wasn't even commenting on summer, that is a different story! It tended not to bother me as much since usually there were breaks in the weather, but things like going to an amusement park in 90-100 degree weather was just brutal. I even fainted once.
I'm an outdoors person and believe me, there's a good portion of time your holed up. This is why Midwesterners often head FURTHER north in the winter, there is at least snow if you want to do snow sports.
This is so true! More snow makes day-to-day driving more audacious but increases the winter recreational activities. Having a few hills around to sled and ski doesn't hurt either. A nice sledding option at least compels you go outside a few times on those precious milder winter days.
That said, I'm more of a "slip the sandals on and walk/bike around the neighborhood to see what's up" kind of a person. I'm not a hardcore outdoor person. I don't like hunting, fishing or camping - just nice walks, hikes, picnics and the occasional bike ride. Adding nice sunsets on top of all that is always a major plus. For all of that, San Diego would be a much better place for me than WI. I totally dig the idea of just slipping on the sandals to go get the mail or to visit a neighbor any time of year knowing that it's never an icy cold slip-and-fall situation waiting to happen.
For example, last winter, my car was parked on my inclined driveway turned off and in park. It snowed overnight. As I was digging it out the next morning, it just slid down the driveway and into the street. That would never happen in San Diego. [Won't happen to me again here either as I now live in a new home with a two-car garage]
This is so true! More snow makes day-to-day driving more audacious but increases the winter recreational activities. Having a few hills around to sled and ski doesn't hurt either. A nice sledding option at least compels you go outside a few times on those precious milder winter days.
That said, I'm more of a "slip the sandals on and walk/bike around the neighborhood to see what's up" kind of a person. I'm not a hardcore outdoor person. I don't like hunting, fishing or camping - just nice walks, hikes, picnics and the occasional bike ride. Adding nice sunsets on top of all that is always a major plus. For all of that, San Diego would be a much better place for me than WI. I totally dig the idea of just slipping on the sandals to go get the mail or to visit a neighbor any time of year knowing that it's never an icy cold slip-and-fall situation waiting to happen.
For example, last winter, my car was parked on my inclined driveway turned off and in park. It snowed overnight. As I was digging it out the next morning, it just slid down the driveway and into the street. That would never happen in San Diego. [Won't happen to me again here either as I now live in a new home with a two-car garage]
while what pedro says is in some cases true -- there are people out there with rose colored glasses of how their life will be perfect when they move and move and are unhappy (I agree with others most likely they will be unhappy for financial reasons or because they are maybe young and never moved away from family and friends before and are unable to cope)
It won't likely be the weather making someone depressed of course you might get bored with the nice weather as I sometimes do and I miss thunderstorms that said its not a bad trade off...
I lived in Texas for awhile (unbearable summer almost turned into winter like depression from being holed up).
So anyway I've been in CA for 2 years or so. I live in Ventura which is a little cooler than San Diego but not too different.
I went home to IL last year during the summer and it was humid and upper 90's and 100's. I could NOT HANDLE it anymore. I've really adapted to the mild weather and am now a total baby in anything outside the small range of temps we have here! It's amazing how quickly the body adapts but its much easier to go FROM the hostile environments of the Midwest or Texas TO CA and not the other way around!!!
Yes it is amazing how much I already take it for granted that I never have to think about the weather or walking to my car any extra maintenance. I miss thunderstorms a lot but its a different life for sure to just be able to go do things without thinking about it the impact of the weather!
The funny part is too I'm now used to the subtle temp differences that make up summer and winter! There is actually a summer and winter here and now I feel it but at first I was like huh? People here really act like its winter in winter, lol.
It does get cooler but the RANGE of temps is much much much smaller and you get used to living within that range and your body notices the subtle 5 degree differences etc.
But winter is actually a nice time to do all the hiking around here as its cooler in the mountains and deserts. Outside the coastal areas you get more of the real seasons and you can find thunderstorms too!
Those who find "the place" for them to live are very lucky. I've lived in SD 36 years (came out here out a whim) and will probably have to move out of state because the COL in retirement would be difficult, and CA taxes all your retirement money (except SS). You all sound very confident but you never know what will happen in your life...marriage, children, divorces, loss of parents, family, job changes, health problems, age, earthquakes, will you be able to handle the freeways when you're 75-80? All sorts of things that will determine whether you will be able to stay here forever (not want to stay here but be able to). I can't imagine what the COL will be here in another 10 years. IMO, money is the primary reason that people leave. Most of you posting are pretty young so enjoy CA to the fullest but never say never. If you truly want to stay here forever, then don't blow your money, put away for retirement, buy a home, plan for your future as best you can, so you hopefully will be able to stay here when you get older.
As a side note, I did leave here in the early 80's (during a very bad recession) and did end up coming back. I've always been blessed with good jobs here and that's probably the primary reason I stayed as long as I did.
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everyone is different and for some people the geography, the politics, the city, the activities available there...it all can make a difference to happiness. 
That would never happen in San Diego. [Won't happen to me again here either as I now live in a new home with a two-car garage]
