Why did you move to San Diego, and do you want to leave? (transplants, short sales)

[NYSD1995]

I didn't move here on purpose, I just sort of landed here because i have a relative who lives here. 20 years later, moving is just too darn difficult.

[CALI BOUND 37]

Originally Posted by earlyretirement

We absolutely LOVE it here and would never dream about moving. I absolutely know 100% we won't move from San Diego. I have having lunch yesterday with a business colleague that also lives here in San Diego and I told him that I could get offered the CEO at Facebook and I would turn it down no matter how much they paid me.

My family loves it here just as much as I do. Moving to San Diego surpassed my wildest expectations. Absolutely will not leave San Diego.

Will turn down millions (CEO for Facebook) just to live here.Now thats heavy.

[CALI BOUND 37]

I think some of us just is tailor-made to be here.

[msgsing]

I was stationed here a couple of times when I was in the military as long ago as the 60's when San Diego was a very different kind of a place. I had family members living here and in the LA area so when retirement came I made the move. No regrets.

[rgb123]

Originally Posted by Pedro2000

it's always tough. As another poster said, people will throw out guilt trips or remind you that you left them behind.
Sometimes it's tough and in the bigger picture, not having family around is a loss. No matter what people say, family and friends are still family and friends. Seeing them 1-2 times a year means you lose that. And if you are close and have a big family, you sacrifice that for a different kind of life. And regardless of how many friends you make, it's different. You have to accept that and not just pretend that it's not a big deal.

But saying all that, I just don't get the "I'm an outdoor person and love...." People use that as a reason to love or move to San Diego and it just sounds like it's full of crap. I was an outdoor person in NJ, in NY, in Philly, in Seattle, in Miami, in Colombia, in Illinois, and so on. No matter where I've lived, I'm an outdoor type of person who finds places to hike, to go, to visit, to explore. Yes the weather might suck in some of those places, but you figure ways to do what you want no matter where you live. I mean go a few miles inland in San Diego and the summer it's like 90 degrees+ in half the places. Go even further and you get hit with 100 degree desert weather. Who the hell wants to hike in that.

But again, I don't comprehend this philosophy that "I'm an outdoor person" except it seems many people aren't that at all, they just visit san diego for a few days and did a couple of things, and then go back home and never leave their houses. I'm not saying the OP is or isn't, but when I hear the "outdoor" comment it's kind of annoying. Like I said, no matter where I've lived, I've always been the same person. I never had problems finding outdoor activities in NJ. So if you're not doing many outdoor activities now, why would you suddenly become that person in San Diego?

The family/friends thing is true anywhere you move. Some people can do it and some can't. It's personal and something everyone has to weigh for themselves and certainly not unique to moving to San Diego. Many people are better off after leaving where they came from (such as myself) and if you try, you can make new friends and continue to evolve in your life -- and its easier than ever to stay in touch. It's a personal decision and different people will have differing levels of difficulty with it -- but most healthy families won't lay guilt trips on children or family members trying to better themselves -- if they are than that right there is a good reason to put some distance between them....but that is my opinion.

In regards to the outdoors -- that is very judgemental as well. Perhaps some people are not but if that is what you do its what you do. To some people it is a huge deal and to be able to enjoy the weather (or not think about it) year round in CA makes a big difference in fitness, mood, and well being for many. Not everyone likes to snowshoe or ski -- then again most places its cold and not enough snow anyway. To suggest everyone who is "outdoorsy" will have just as much quality of life in Iowa year round as they would in Southern California is pretty absurd.

While its true that some people aren't happy anywhere, its not a fair blanket answer that most people should just stay where they are cause its no different.

It's like saying anyone could be happy in Detroit.... everyone is different and for some people the geography, the politics, the city, the activities available there...it all can make a difference to happiness.

I can certainly testify that I get out more year round in CA compared to what I did in Illinois. And its very exciting to me the different micro climates and geographies I can visit which were not available to me easily before. And I do take advantage of it quite a bit, as much as I can afford even by myself. no friends or family along.

[NYSD1995]

Here's what I've noticed about this board over the past 7+ years (scary, I know) about the majority of people who post here about relocating from _____ to San Diego:

- most are young / single / no kids or all / some of the three
- most like the idea living here (weather, outdoors) but have no ties to the area or a real burning need to move
- most are not really career types (although many are navy and being relocated here)

If you have no ties that bind you to wherever you currently are, then moving here is just a practical matter of affording the move and finding a job. If you have a family, career, community, etc, it's just a much, much harder decision.

[rxglasshalffull]

Originally Posted by rgb123

The family/friends thing is true anywhere you move. Some people can do it and some can't. It's personal and something everyone has to weigh for themselves and certainly not unique to moving to San Diego. Many people are better off after leaving where they came from (such as myself) and if you try, you can make new friends and continue to evolve in your life -- and its easier than ever to stay in touch. It's a personal decision and different people will have differing levels of difficulty with it -- but most healthy families won't lay guilt trips on children or family members trying to better themselves -- if they are than that right there is a good reason to put some distance between them....but that is my opinion.

In regards to the outdoors -- that is very judgemental as well. Perhaps some people are not but if that is what you do its what you do. To some people it is a huge deal and to be able to enjoy the weather (or not think about it) year round in CA makes a big difference in fitness, mood, and well being for many. Not everyone likes to snowshoe or ski -- then again most places its cold and not enough snow anyway. To suggest everyone who is "outdoorsy" will have just as much quality of life in Iowa year round as they would in Southern California is pretty absurd.

While its true that some people aren't happy anywhere, its not a fair blanket answer that most people should just stay where they are cause its no different.

It's like saying anyone could be happy in Detroit.... everyone is different and for some people the geography, the politics, the city, the activities available there...it all can make a difference to happiness.

I can certainly testify that I get out more year round in CA compared to what I did in Illinois. And its very exciting to me the different micro climates and geographies I can visit which were not available to me easily before. And I do take advantage of it quite a bit, as much as I can afford even by myself. no friends or family along.

i agree with the person i quoted, but not the other person. i say im an outdoorsy person because i am. i always spend time outside at least some time during the winter months (in the northeast) and as much as possible during the summer (when its not insanely humid, when its not raining, when its below 95F). in essence, i try spend some time outside every single day. so yes, i think my outdoor life in san diego will be better than the outdoor life i have now in the northeast. for example, i was going to a theme park with some friends today, but it was cancelled because it rained for like 5 hours today and was grey and humid all day.

[rxglasshalffull]

California is not for everyone. There are people I know in the northeast that never want to go to California (they cant anyway). They love their lives here. But these people I know don't get outside at all and love spending all their free time indoor or out with friends in their houses. What I am trying to say is that they don't get outside much and don't care about that aspect. Everyone is different.

[Jenkay]

Originally Posted by Pedro2000

it's always tough. As another poster said, people will throw out guilt trips or remind you that you left them behind.
Sometimes it's tough and in the bigger picture, not having family around is a loss. No matter what people say, family and friends are still family and friends. Seeing them 1-2 times a year means you lose that. And if you are close and have a big family, you sacrifice that for a different kind of life. And regardless of how many friends you make, it's different. You have to accept that and not just pretend that it's not a big deal.

But saying all that, I just don't get the "I'm an outdoor person and love...." People use that as a reason to love or move to San Diego and it just sounds like it's full of crap. I was an outdoor person in NJ, in NY, in Philly, in Seattle, in Miami, in Colombia, in Illinois, and so on. No matter where I've lived, I'm an outdoor type of person who finds places to hike, to go, to visit, to explore. Yes the weather might suck in some of those places, but you figure ways to do what you want no matter where you live. I mean go a few miles inland in San Diego and the summer it's like 90 degrees+ in half the places. Go even further and you get hit with 100 degree desert weather. Who the hell wants to hike in that.

But again, I don't comprehend this philosophy that "I'm an outdoor person" except it seems many people aren't that at all, they just visit san diego for a few days and did a couple of things, and then go back home and never leave their houses. I'm not saying the OP is or isn't, but when I hear the "outdoor" comment it's kind of annoying. Like I said, no matter where I've lived, I've always been the same person. I never had problems finding outdoor activities in NJ. So if you're not doing many outdoor activities now, why would you suddenly become that person in San Diego?

That made me reread the OP, and What I read is she already *is* an outdoor person and is looking forward to doing outdoor activities in mild weather all year round. And that TOTALLY makes sense.

[Walkthetalk]

Originally Posted by shmoov_groovzsd

This is the #1 reason I hear any northeasterer leave SD.

My wife was struggling like this at first when we moved out here from NJ. She comes from a massive family and there was this Irish guilt thing about 'leaving the family' like its losing an appendage. But the reality was when we were dating in NJ, I pointed out that she was sucked into the vortex of family and was a gloried babysitter for all the drama in the family. Everyone up in each others news etc etc. Basically no true identity outside the covenant.

Well, after almost a decade of living in SD, having a very rewarding life, owning our first home and having solid careers do does her family 'get it'. They dont fully understand the need to live so far away, but they see she is happy and are ok with that. Telephone conversations went from "when are you coming home" to telling the rest of the family "We wish you were closer, but you have a great life".
They only now understand that it was the best move she ever made. After about 6 years did it take to click, but the years prior were brutal. She was trying to create a life here and the parents just couldnt let it go and understand why she couldnt do it out there.

I have the same problem. It's hard to understand the sentiment that the NE is the only worthy place on the planet.