Is living in San Diego worth moving away from friends and family? (Los Angeles: appointed, mortgage)

[Luvs2Trvl]

I echo Beckaboo... In less than 2 years My best friend has visited 3 times, my In-laws stayed once and are already planning on coming for trip #2 in a few months, my sister-in-law once and my brother-in-law once as well. Most people will jump at the chance to come visit and in some ways it's more fun visiting like that.

We felt the same way as you, not wanting to regret not taking a chance on something and we have ended up really liking it. My parents seemed pretty sad to see us move though. We are thinking about selling our home in Colorado that we've been renting out, when my mom heard that she said to me "you're never moving back here are you"?! We love our families but honestly we were ready for some space. We still go home for the holidays and they visit us and so far we're really enjoying being out here! My only caveat would be that yes, you say that you are well aware of the housing/cost of living but I would honestly say you will still be surprised after you move here at how pricey homes are and for what you get. Unless you can afford that bright orange Lamborghini I saw at the grocery store today...

[Windycityrn]

Originally Posted by LuvSouthOC

Simple solution. Bring 'em out here. They'll be glad to have come out.

That I have tried, if they do maybe they'll catch the bug too, then I won't be the only "crazy" one..

[Windycityrn]

Originally Posted by malcorub16

This is true, very true. But in some situations, such was mine, it is better to get away from family, friends and old acquaintances who may be holding you back from reaching your full potential.

Come out here for a while OP, rent, and see if its for you. Your handle indicates you are an RN, you could surely land a job out here easily.

Yes actually my wife and I are both RNs, I recently applied for and received a CA nursing license (little steps at a time) During spring break we actually rented a house in a residential area, and though we did some touristy things(Legoland,etc) the things my wife and I enjoyed the most was just enjoying the weather and being outside. The kids love the tidepools at Point Loma..I'm aware of the real estate prices (at least 2 maybe 3x what we pay here for the same house : but I think its doable for us. The areas I actually liked were inland where its warmer and more affordable (San Marcos..)

[shmoov_groovzsd]

Some see moving away as a positive, others as a negative. YMMV. Clearly only you know how your family impacts your life and only one way to find out.

But it is 2014. Buying a plane ticket is not difficult unless you have family from the Shire or member(s) with disability which may prevent that kind of mobilization.

I have family here that moved out here to be closer. But far enough way in a drive so as not interfere with our lives. The in laws will be staying longer now that we are building a granny flat. But they visit at least 3 times a year from the east coast.

The real question is this: How much do you really see your family if you were working 5 days a week anyway with your own life now?
My wife sees it all the time when she sees her friends back east. Its not like all these friends see their family every day. Its more of the feeling and presence of family being nearby rather than actually seeing them all the time methinks.

As far as the distance. The old saying that it makes the heart grow fonder is true for my wife and I and our families. The first few years her family thought moving to SD was just a short term thing and we always got the 'when are you coming back home?'
After so many years, establishing a career, buying a home etc. That all changed to 'we see why you are happy, we wish you were closer, but you guys are happy.' Totally different tone.

On the other hand. I have a very good friend in Florida originally from Michigan and husband from Ohio. They are looking forward to the day when he is done getting is masters, selling the house and moving back up there to be closer to family (at all levels.) They feel its important for their baby daughter to get to know the family on a more regular basis.

[lrmsd]

Also, keep in mind that although real estate is high in SD, other aspects of COL are not necessarily higher than where you are now. Food=year round, high quality produce grown nearby is pretty reasonable in SD. Gas prices can be higher, but again, depends on where you're coming from. Not needing heat OR A/C nearly year round lowers utility costs. Less wear and tear on vehicles, no need to weatherize them. No need for 2 or 3 clothing wardrobes [I find this cheaper especially as far as kids go since they grow so quickly]. Sales tax in SD is 9%; that's on par with many metro areas, though surely can be considered high-but depends on what one is used to. Property taxes are not the highest in the country, by far. I'm not saying it's cheap, but I am saying that, aside from astronomical real estate costs, SD can be done on par or for less with many other parts of the country-especially major metros and many smaller states [such as VT, ME, CT, etc]. Cost of living comparison calculator (plug in two cities, income and go!)
http://www.bankrate.com/calculators/...alculator.aspx

Also, though you will need to visit family or they come to you, another great aspect of living in SD: Driving proximity to other great places to visit. SD is 3 hours from Big Bear for skiing/hiking, 4 hours from santa barbara, 2 hours from LA, 6 hours to phoenix or northern AZ such as sedona or flagstaff, a little further to Tucson/Saguaro National Park, 5 hours to Sequioa National Park, 3+ hours Joshua Tree, less than 5 hours to Vegas, 7 hours to Zion NP, 8 hours to San Francisco [or an hour flight], 9 hours to Sonoma or Napa and on and on and on....

I think SD is a great place to raise kids [hence why I am here]. We do not own a home and salary is not particularly high; we live in Carmel Valley and yet we get by. It doesn't feel like San Francisco or Manhattan, that's for sure. I'm originally from the NE and I never fully understand the 'CA is so expensive' thing. It's pricey, and some areas more so than others, but there are numerous other locales that are just as high or higher. I think the trade off is worth it, regardless, though.

Sounds like you have all but decided and remember that you can always move back. A few years in SD is not a bad option, and neither is a lifetime. (: My advice is not to try to convince others to move out. That takes a lot of effort and keeps you stuck in their reality and/or the past. Make your move clean and then let people visit. Anyone interested will then consider moving out. Otherwise, you don't want to feel responsible for the lives of others, once they are out here anyway. Do it for yourself and your immediate family. San Marcos has great schools and is a good location. Awesome that you are both RN's.

Southwest airlines often has great deals. And there are several so cal airport options, too.

Good luck!

[AceOfHearts]

Originally Posted by LuvSouthOC

Family > any place in my opinion (yes, even San Diego).

You obviously haven't met my family.

[AceOfHearts]

Originally Posted by shmoov_groovzsd

Some see moving away as a positive, others as a negative. YMMV. Clearly only you know how your family impacts your life and only one way to find out.

But it is 2014. Buying a plane ticket is not difficult unless you have family from the Shire or member(s) with disability which may prevent that kind of mobilization.

I have family here that moved out here to be closer. But far enough way in a drive so as not interfere with our lives. The in laws will be staying longer now that we are building a granny flat. But they visit at least 3 times a year from the east coast.

The real question is this: How much do you really see your family if you were working 5 days a week anyway with your own life now?
My wife sees it all the time when she sees her friends back east. Its not like all these friends see their family every day. Its more of the feeling and presence of family being nearby rather than actually seeing them all the time methinks.

As far as the distance. The old saying that it makes the heart grow fonder is true for my wife and I and our families. The first few years her family thought moving to SD was just a short term thing and we always got the 'when are you coming back home?'
After so many years, establishing a career, buying a home etc. That all changed to 'we see why you are happy, we wish you were closer, but you guys are happy.' Totally different tone.

On the other hand. I have a very good friend in Florida originally from Michigan and husband from Ohio. They are looking forward to the day when he is done getting is masters, selling the house and moving back up there to be closer to family (at all levels.) They feel its important for their baby daughter to get to know the family on a more regular basis.

I'm going through this right now with my wife. We are moving from the northeast (NY/NJ) to San Diego within a few months. The only major sticking point was her family, and how living in San Diego will be "so far away." Yes, she is much closer with her mother and her sisters than I am with my own parents and brother. However, we currently live in central New Jersey, which is easily two hours away from her sisters and mother on Long Island. How often do you think her family comes to visit us in New Jersey? The answer is "almost never." My wife, on the other hand, goes to Long Island to see them roughly every six weeks.

Our son is considerably younger than his cousins in NY. Couple the age difference with being two hours away, and he's just not ever going to be close to them like some cousins are. Sure, it's great to spend time together with family, regardless of the children's age. But to pass on an opportunity to create a better life for your own immediate family, simply because you want to be within a few hours drive of extended family, just doesn't make sense. Same goes with my son's relationship with my parents. We live ten minutes away and they currently see him every week. As much as I appreciate that my parents love my son, and he loves spending time with them, it's not enough of a reason to continue living in a place where we can't enjoy life to it's fullest.

[oddstray]

Originally Posted by AceOfHearts

You obviously haven't met my family.

Are we related? Distance works best for my family, too.

[Cardiff Kook]

This is a really subjective question. My immediate family lived in San Diego so moving here was easy for me. I still miss my friends back east but they will be visiting soon. My wife moved away from all of her family back east so the first month or two was pretty hard for her

[rgb123]

Originally Posted by AceOfHearts

You obviously haven't met my family.

LOL

me too -- I miss the place I'm from -- that does not mean is was healthy for me to be in close proximity to them and a big factor for me in being free to roam the country...

Most healthy adults should be able to put some space between themselves and family unless it really is against their culture to do so, it could be very hard (some cultures live in the same house into adulthood, etc.)

It is good for many people to move away from family at some point even if it is not permanent.