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Funky, you strike me as someone who is not particularly well-traveled. San Diego a party city? Sure. Vegas, that's a party city. Go out in NYC or Boston on a friday night and the place is hopping. Sleazy sex? Vegas takes the cake on that one, but SF, NYC, and most of Florida could give it a run for it's money.
Reading your posts, you have a lot of contempt for others, especially people you seem to feel are "wealthy", "well-dressed", or "beautiful". I suppose if one was poor, sloppy, and ugly, they would have good reason to be miserable.
I may not be beautiful, but I do make decent money, own a decent home in a middle-to-working class area, drive nice cars, and have nice clothes, and I don't identify myself with the leased-benz-driving set either. I'm not ashamed to own nice things, I have busted my ass for ten years to afford them.
I get the impression you will find the negative and unappealing aspect of anywhere you go and anything you do, so good luck with your move.
I'm going to agree with Monk to a certain extent. I'm a born and raised northeasterner. Most of my family is blue collar Pittsburgh and proud. I ended up livng in San Diego with a Navy guy awhile back, and I was quite unhappy there overall.
At that time, I was 24 and pretty enough to turn a lot of heads, even in SD, the land of the beautiful. The thing is, I never felt comfortable being judged so much on my appearance, even if it got me lots of free drinks or whatever. In fact, the whole image-based culture out there really got in my way of forming any meaningful friendships at all. I missed sitting around playing spades and drinking coffee or bowling on Friday nights. I just couldn't find a group of people my age who were interested in these kind of things. Yes, I am back on the East coast where I belong now and I feel so much more connected.
Maybe if I had lived in SD a little longer, my experience would have been more positive. I was only there for 2 years.
I also lived in Monterey for 2 years before moving to SD. My experience there was completely different. I made great friends there who were much more intellectual and down to Earth. What an awesome place!
Monk, I'd suggest you move up the coast if the opportunity comes up or out of the state altogether. SD brought me down spiritually too. And I'm sure your appearance is just fine!
songgirl, a lot of what you've said is similar to the impressions i've gotten as well. But, I've lived in several states and visited many others (including the east coast), and although the people may be friendlier in other cities (and not worry about materialistic things as much, i.e., especially accessories for women), the weather, climate, beach, mountains, outdoor activities, etc. that san diego provides just outweighs anywhere else for me. I've been to the east coast many times and although it's nice to visit, I couldn't see myself living like that for more than a year. With that said, once I'm out of college and have a job, I think I'd be a lot more open to moving because san diego is a little different than what I'm used to as well...
Monk, why do you continue to post the same rants? We know you hate it in San Diego. I find your comments to be almost amusing because they're always the same, and honestly, I don't see the plastic, shallow, materialistic society that you describe.
I'm going to agree with Monk to a certain extent. I'm a born and raised northeasterner. Most of my family is blue collar Pittsburgh and proud. I ended up livng in San Diego with a Navy guy awhile back, and I was quite unhappy there overall.
At that time, I was 24 and pretty enough to turn a lot of heads, even in SD, the land of the beautiful. The thing is, I never felt comfortable being judged so much on my appearance, even if it got me lots of free drinks or whatever. In fact, the whole image-based culture out there really got in my way of forming any meaningful friendships at all. I missed sitting around playing spades and drinking coffee or bowling on Friday nights. I just couldn't find a group of people my age who were interested in these kind of things. Yes, I am back on the East coast where I belong now and I feel so much more connected.
Maybe if I had lived in SD a little longer, my experience would have been more positive. I was only there for 2 years.
I also lived in Monterey for 2 years before moving to SD. My experience there was completely different. I made great friends there who were much more intellectual and down to Earth. What an awesome place!
Monk, I'd suggest you move up the coast if the opportunity comes up or out of the state altogether. SD brought me down spiritually too. And I'm sure your appearance is just fine!
My appearance is fine, I am a good looking young guy and i'm in great shape, (not to brag) I bicycle for about 10-15 miles each day etc. But my style of dressing, the way I carry myself and my entire appearance and demeanor just isn't up to code for SD, I guess i'm not "San Diego certified". But I don't care.
I actually grew up in Northern California and just moved back to SD from there recently. The culture up there is completely different, it was a breath of fresh air. To be around kind, humble, intellectual and spiritually evolved people again was great. Then last month when I came back to SD again, the attitude and the whole vibe of this city was like a slap in the face, it's been really hard to adjust to this place again. I feel like it's a downgrade in quality of life big time. It's unsettling and hard to feel at home here. I feel like I can relax in my place, but walking out the door into this city is always a test of my patience.
And to Sassberto. You are wrong, i've lived in many different places all around the Western U.S. and traveled quite a lot, and I've NEVER been in a place that has the same kind of fake, arrogant vibe as SD. Orange County and some pats of LA do too, but it's all So-Cal.
I'm stuck in this city right now fo financial reasons unfortunately. When I can afford it I am definantly going to leave this city once again. Evey time I leave So-Cal, I forget how bad it is and think to myself "I could live there, i'm ready for it." But I just don't think i'll ever be ready for it honestly. This place is a soul graveyard.
The fact that people are writing to agree with what I said, and the fact that people are slamming So-Cal in just about evey other state's forum might actually mean something......
Also ask aound the country what they think of So-Cal people, and you'll hear the same thing that i've said from others. This isn't just my imagination Sassberto, San Diego has a lot of social dysfuntion.
Not everyone who complains is just sour, sometimes the complaints are vaild. And since other people walk on eggsheels and try really hard to be polite, i'll be the one to just say the truth in clear language. If it's too real for you, don't read it.
Last edited by FunkyMonk; 01-06-2008 at 02:19 AM..
Monk, why do you continue to post the same rants? We know you hate it in San Diego. I find your comments to be almost amusing because they're always the same, and honestly, I don't see the plastic, shallow, materialistic society that you describe.
I'm probobly going to stop posting in these forums soon. I've said what I had to say.
But the reason why I do it is because I got interested in these forums right before I moved here last month. And now i'm here in SD and I just can't believe the way things go down here. It's like blatent ego-mania and materialism that is so intense I find it ridiculous and laughable, it's a world of illusion that people are lost in. Yet people just do it every day, truely lost in their own hype....
I'm trying to see if other people see these same things that I do, and apparently i'm not the only one who hold these opinions about SD. In Northern California, SD always had a reputation for being fake and pretentious. And if they found out you were form So-Cal down there they would immediately suspect you might be mindless and lacking in real culture, which is often true on Southern Californians.
I'm finding that yes, lots of people are also seeing what I see down here. Not only out-of-towners, but people who live in SD right now too.
If you don't see the plastic, shallow and materialistic side of SD then well. You must have grown up in a very sheltered envionment, you must not be street-smart, savvy or good at detecting the real vibe of a place.
I'm just telling it like it is, telling the truth, and people are ageeing with me left and right. I want to tell the awful truth about San Diego and what's really hapening in this stange city. This isn't my opinion, it's a fact that these ignorant people need to look in the mirror and face.
Last edited by FunkyMonk; 01-06-2008 at 02:14 AM..
Like my neighbor who drives a new Cadillac Escalade and is always buying all kinds of other stuff like expensive electronics. Always going out to the nicest places to eat. Trying to turn his place into a posh bachelor's pad. I figured he must be well-off from his lifestyle. Then I realized he actually works an entry-level position at Home Depot and he's plunging himself into debt, just to appear to be successful and live that Playboy life. That's what people in SD are all about. A competition of whose got the best and the most toys. So shallow, so pathetic.....people around here don't know how to just live a simple, humble life.
Man! You are living around/associating with the wrong people if you think that everyone in SD is so shallow, so pathetic and do not know how to live simple, humble lives.
I'm truly sorry that you haven't met the kind-hearted, genuinely good people that inhabit this city - they are here.
Quote:
If you don't see the plastic, shallow and materialistic side of SD then well. You must have grown up in a very sheltered envionment, you must not be street-smart, savvy or good at detecting the real vibe of a place.
I really don't see what you're talking about but I think that's also because I'm married, older, about to become a mom and have different priorities in life. I grew up in/around NYC and would not categorize myself as any of things you described above. Perhaps having worked in the entertainment field in NYC for a few years also gave me a different perspective of what plastic, shallow & materialistic is, too.
But I do view myself as one who can look at a situation or group of people, decide "this is not for me" and move on - whether physcially or in my mind.
BTW - why do you even care that others around you live beyond their means or drive fancy cars & eat at posh restaurants? Their lives, their decisions, their consequences to deal with (if they can't afford it) and if they CAN afford it - again, why do you care?
As I've posted before, travel beyond the west coast because you'll see pockets of what you've described in every city in the US and in the world. SD doesn't have a monopoly on these attitudes and certainly has its share of wonderful, ethical and generous folks.
Funky Monk, Just a little food for thought!I lived very briefly in San Diego in 1991. I really loved it! Whenever, I think about relocating, I ponder returning to San Diego.
I was 24 almost 25 when I was there. Everyone I met was from Ohio, Colorado, PA, AZ, etc… The place was the most laid back I had ever encountered. Sex Yes! Drugs weed and Meth Yes! Never pushed on me! Just done and people knew it! Wealth I did not see that competition. In fact most of the people I met California were (What I call system suckers) Workman’s comp., Disability, Food Stamps etc.. I saw a lot of people not trying to work. They wanted to hang out, smoke weed, Meth weekends, work under the table. Room mates to afford housing! (Dumpster Diving),which I never heard of until I got there for furniture. In 1991, I was in Clairemont.
The people I met were from everywhere but San Diego! That may explain the attitudes you are encountering! People are the same everywhere! SD is a melting pot!
The city was beautiful and I believe still is! Life is what you make of it! meet like minded people! I am sure there are preserve San Diego groups, City planning groups! Clean up SD groups etc…
The competing with the Jones’s complex has been around forever. Just don’t get sucked in and enjoy all of the people who are not!
[b] Life is what you make of it! meet like minded people! I am sure there are preserve San Diego groups, City planning groups! Clean up SD groups etc…
The competing with the Jones’s complex has been around forever. Just don’t get sucked in and enjoy all of the people who are not!
EXCELLENT post!
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