Please help single mom wanting to move to San diego (renters, car registration)

[Cantdecide]

Your points have been taken and thank you for the advice, I do appreciate it. I do want to point out that I said I have no retirement saved, what's there is chump change, not even a dent. What I do have is money I saved years ago towards a college fund, and I will not touch that, that is for my boys. If I took the San Diego job I'm sure I would be stretched thin with childcare but my retirement would be double with a federal job. I get I can't make up those years which is why this decision is so important to me to make the right one. I pay a fortune for childcare here too, and according to one post they will be disenchanted and make society suffer. Between the more than doubled salary, increased retirement, better benefits, San Diego and the counselor I hope you can see why this seemed like it could be potentially be a good move for us. But I also know how expensive it is and this is part of why I reached out for others advice and experiences.

[loveautumn]

$2k a month for child care and $2k a month for a 2 bedroom apt = $48k a year right off the top.

[1AngryTaxPayer]

Originally Posted by seain dublin

Look, you sound like a nice person but you need to realistic. Is this counselor going to send you a monthly stipend if you make the move? I don't think so.

First you said you have nothing in retirement, than you said you said you have little. And yes, unfortunately in the case of saving for retirement getting a late start out of the gate(in your 40s) does in fact matter. You can't make it up.

People really need to start a retirement fund in their early 30s. Sounds strange, but just starting 10 years later can mean the difference of six figures in assets when it's time to retire.

That's why some people can retire at 55 and others are working to 72.

There is no point in moving somewhere if you're stretched so tight you can't enjoy life.

I don't know how you feel about FL, I do believe nursing salaries are much lower there. But that is lower cost alternative that gets you out of the cold winters.

For San Diego they need to start a fund asap, even their first job if possible.

[seain dublin]

Originally Posted by loveautumn

$2k a month for child care and $2k a month for a 2 bedroom apt = $48k a year right off the top.

And on 89K a year after taxes, that would leave about 22K a year to live on for 3 people. So forget any savings or putting even 5% of your salary monthly into retirement.

Originally Posted by 1AngryTaxPayer

For San Diego they need to start a fund asap, even their first job if possible.

True, even someone starting at age 25 vs age 35 means a huge difference in what is accrued. The OP is very late to game to be looking at retirement and especially with two very young children to support for more many more years.

[beera]

Originally Posted by loveautumn

$2k a month for child care and $2k a month for a 2 bedroom apt = $48k a year right off the top.

She can find a two bedroom for less than $2k unless she's trying to live in Del Mar or La Jolla or something.

[Cardiff Kook]

Originally Posted by beera

She can find a two bedroom for less than $2k unless she's trying to live in Del Mar or La Jolla or something.

Yes, she will have to go inland. 2k seems like the bare minimum for a 2br 2ba place in the coastal neighborhoods. Many are going for much more than that.

[beera]

Originally Posted by Cantdecide

I do have a stable work schedule and I also pay my parents rent and have a car. The environment we are living in is not great for my kids. Too many different people always telling them what to do and not to do. So many different rules from everyone that he doesn't know if he's coming or going. I also have my son in counseling and his counselor keeps telling me to take this job and start fresh with my kids, that it's better for them not to see their dad so often and that I'm hurting them more living in this environment. I want this to work so bad, I appreciate all the comments. I came here because I am not convinced it's the best decision as my sons counselor keeps trying to tell me, as much as I wish it was. We love San Diego, I never dreamed this is where I would be at this point in my life, and it's not easy getting out of it single with kids. Sounds like it's probably not the best move.

Do you live with your parents?

I think if you can't afford to live on your own in a lower cost of living area, then you probably shouldn't move somewhere with a higher cost of living.

When you say so many different rules, are you talking about rules from YOUR parents? So like you tell your kid no and then your parents say yes? That right there is a problem with your parents undermining your authority as mom.

You can still get a fresh start somewhere else, just probably not in San Diego. There are other LCOL areas that you can be far away enough to get a job making good money and start over.

I think for you, I'd work towards getting out of your parents house.

PM me and I can send you some helpful links when it comes to money and family.

[nightlysparrow]

These hospitals are in many less expensive states. Why not choose one of those?

[Cantdecide]

Part of the reason I considered this was the huge increase in pay, better benefits and better retirement. The place I was looking at to live was a 3br apartment in rancho Bernardo for 2000/month. I know how expensive it can be which is why I came here. I did ask for an increase in salary and they came back with 91k, 9k sign on bonus, and some shift differentials. Compared to 40k here. However, I can see now that even this is not enough by all the comments Beera I would definitely like to see the links you have, I will try to pm you. Again, thanks for all advice!

[1AngryTaxPayer]

Originally Posted by seain dublin

And on 89K a year after taxes, that would leave about 22K a year to live on for 3 people. So forget any savings or putting even 5% of your salary monthly into retirement.



True, even someone starting at age 25 vs age 35 means a huge difference in what is accrued. The OP is very late to game to be looking at retirement and especially with two very young children to support for more many more years.

We have a program that's called something like "late catch up" that allows older workers to dump more of their pay into their 401K. They still have the first 10% put in so it would be a way to get rolling late.