Dining Solo Question--Personal Space (home, restaurant, to move)

[sdurbanite]

Originally Posted by elchevere

you are absolutely correct and hit the nail on the head....I live here for the weather and because my career has been based out here. Guess I'm east coast/old fashioned/old school (common sense/common courtesy with Type A mixed in) trapped inside my head....share one more East Coast v West Coast story with you--at a sports bar, here, and one of the wide receivers on my fave football team made a half ass effort at catching the ball. I shout out to my friends, from the East Coast as well--what a pus*y. A couple of guys, probably not from East Coast, told me something to the extent, "careful, there are women here"....I had to explain to this guy(?) that I was referring to the football game, not women's anatomy....it's like I speak a foreign language.

What, did you just graduate from a Big 10 college or something? I don't know, it's pretty much common sense and not really an East Coast thing that one shouldn't shout p*ssy to your friends. It just makes you look like a douche. I guess you did it to get a reaction and got one that you didn't like? Would a parent call their child a p*ssy?

[elchevere]

Why not?...should I save it for the Joffrey Ballet?..This was in a freakin sports bar for crying out loud...I grew up with one of my movie heroes being Charles Bronson..let me guess--out here guys grew up with Bronson Pinchot as one of their heroes?...you guys out here are way too PC sensitive. (No kids were in the sports bar, BTW and Cornell class of 1981 to answer your ?...how about you?).

I was talking to my friends when I made the comment, which they agreed with and I had zero interest in seeking attention, when some stranger I did not know was the one who chimed in/eavesdropped into our conversation....I fail to see the connection with lack of effort on a football field prompting my comment and parent/child???...can I use the word suck out here or will people's minds drift towards intimacy?...were Charger fans 100% supportive of Ryan Leaf and NEVER used derogatory terms???--gimme a break...if the sports teams take on the personna of the local population, I can understand now why there are zero professional sports championships in this town.

[oddstray]

Originally Posted by elchevere

Why not?...should I save it for the Joffrey Ballet?..This was in a freakin sports bar for crying out loud...I grew up with one of my movie heroes being Charles Bronson..let me guess--out here guys grew up with Bronson Pinchot as one of their heroes?...you guys out here are way too sensitive.

Ha. That's rich, you calling us sensitive, given that you're the one that's all messed up about people facing you in restaurants.

I'm still goin' with mental issues.

[elchevere]

I just find that strange from a personal space issue (re: restaurant). On the other matter in the sports bar, had I used a word that starts with a letter much earlier on in the alphabet, I could see your point but then the application of that word would be specific to anatomy and have nothing to do with a weak effort by a player on the football field.

Originally Posted by oddstray

Ha. That's rich, you calling us sensitive, given that you're the one that's all messed up about people facing you in restaurants.

I'm still goin' with mental issues.

[Jenkay]

Originally Posted by elchevere

Why is it, when I am dining solo at a casual restaurant, 9 out of 10 times the person (stranger, whom I do not know) who sits at the table in front of me decides to sit facing me as opposed to with their back to me--many times breaking protocol in which most other solo diners are sitting back to face.

Is there some type of sexual fetish I am missing out on about watching another person chew food?...if it were at night and I wanted to socialize, I would sit at the bar--not at a table. Is this the same type of person who takes the treadmill at the gym directly next to you when there are 15 other machines available or the same person who takes the bathroom stall directly next to you when you will be there "for an extended time" when there are 4 other empty stalls? ...is this the type of person who needs to sleep with the assistance of a night light because they are still afraid of the bogey man?...if a Victoria Secret model did this I would stare at her the entire time--think she would enjoy this?

I don't know--i happen to like my personal space. Anyone observe this and feel the same way or do I have mental issues and need help?

What on earth... I eat solo all the time and have for as long as I can remember, and was completely unaware of there being any sort of "protocol". I bring a book and read while I eat. What you or anyone else is doing is completely irrelevant.

It kind of creeps me out when people are dining solo and just staring at everyone else in a restaurant instead of reading a book or magazine or something, though- so yeah, apparently it takes all kinds.

[BBslider001]

Originally Posted by elchevere

Cardiff and Oddstray-I think you're on to something...they are unaware, or oblivious, to this situation.....probably similar to people who walk in with their non service animal to food establishments, the person doing 50 MPH in the left hand/passing lane on the freeway who refuses to move over, the person who gets on the elevator before they allow you to get off, the guy or gal in the gym who works out in tank top and sweats all over the equipment without wiping it off for others when they leave, the person who comes up to you and I who are already engaged in a conversation and begins talking with you as though I am not there by not acknowledging my presence with an excuse me....these and a dozen or more examples I can share of being unaware and/or only concerned with themselves...if this makes me strange or rude, then I'm glad to be an outcast....guess this falls under one of my previous threads of common courtesy and common sense, of which there is a shortage these days.

This is extremely odd. My wife and I talk about these very things just about every day, in just the way you described them here. If you have mental issues, than I guess a lot of us do to a certain degree. I was getting coffee the other morning and while I was making it, I swear the guy next to me was standing no more than 6 inches from me when he had about 4 feet of room to use for himself, reaching over me for stuff, etc.... He noticed I was kind of mad dogging him and he says "I guess Californians have a much smaller personal space than Midwest Chicagoans". I just said, "no, just common courtesy not to breathe over someone when you have enough space not to do so". He looked at me like I had just said "F*** off" which I guess I kinda did. I really think people's awareness issues are out the window anymore. It's not just here either. It seems to be anywhere there is congestion of people,but worse some places than others.

Sorry for the rant.

[rosa surf]

Originally Posted by CNYC

Yes and No.

The other day I "faced" the same situation while dining in TJ but we ended up having a conversation that lasted over 30 minutes. He was a nice guy from LA that wanted to chat.

People are way nicer in SD. He probably had no idea what you were tripping out on. Only NY'ers get like that.

Personally I like getting along with other people and being friendly. It's a cruel world out there so any positive interaction between humans is appreciated.

NYC on the other hand is an ice palace. I got tired of catering to cranky people.

...my two centavos.

In Latin America it is VERY normal to strike up conversations with strangers, talk to strangers, etc...personal space doesn't really exist. Lol

At least with Mexicans and Brazilians.

[malcorub16]

Originally Posted by rosa surf

In Latin America it is VERY normal to strike up conversations with strangers, talk to strangers, etc...personal space doesn't really exist. Lol

At least with Mexicans and Brazilians.

In Mexico, while boarding an elevator with other strangers, I get the customary "good morning/evening" and then the "have a good day" upon exiting. Some, not all, will strike up a conversation.

In the US, 90% of the time people whip out their smart phones real quick and avoid eye contact at all costs. Ocassionally I will be pleasantly surprised with a smile and nod. This custom may be different in small town USA, but in SoCal and NYC personal space rules.

[BBslider001]

Originally Posted by rosa surf

In Latin America it is VERY normal to strike up conversations with strangers, talk to strangers, etc...personal space doesn't really exist. Lol

At least with Mexicans and Brazilians.

Well in the USA, it's very normal to not do these things. Personal space DOES exist by all means. It's good to show common courtesy and respect in any culture one visits, especially when you are an outsider or not a native.

[rosa surf]

Originally Posted by BBslider001

Well in the USA, it's very normal to not do these things. Personal space DOES exist by all means. It's good to show common courtesy and respect in any culture one visits, especially when you are an outsider or not a native.

Well I was talking about Tijuana, responding to a post about starting up a conversation in Tijuana.

Yes, it is good to show common courtesy and respect in the culture one visits, so, if you are visiting Mexico or Brazil, make sure to look at strangers, greet people, and strike up conversations with people you don't know.