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As others have pointed out, some of your points seem to contradict and you (correctly, IMO) mention many negatives that are the same in Bay Area and SD. With all your constraints and the options you presented, there really doesn't appear to be a solution but then I think you kind of know that. As she often does, I think Rosie has hit the nail on the head. What is truly bothering you about the situation in SJ? Did you move away from family to be in SJ?
Thank you all so much for the input! You bring up some great points for me to consider. The reason I didn't mention why I hate the south Bay Area (I'm not including SF in this because, as someone else rightly pointed out, traveling to SF on a regular basis is not an option) is because firstly, I didn't want to offend anyone here with loose generalizations about the people who we've mostly come into contact with, and secondly, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that is so dislikable. I suppose it comes down to the breathless pace of life here, the flashy one-upmanship, the techy superiority (of which, clearly being Googlers we are part of), the lack of good coffee places (joking). It just all feels so new and false, there's no character here and little in the way of culture (I'm not referring to theaters, museums necessarily, although SJ is definitely lacking here). There is natural beauty here but from where we live in the South Bay area, all you see are strip malls and more strip malls. From where we live, it takes 5 hours to drive to Tahoe, on a route which is always jammed with traffic. The beach is a 90-minute trek also in heavy weekend traffic. Everything feels so clogged and claustrophobic.
From day one in Silicon Valley, I felt like we didn't fit in, couldn't find many like-minded people (side note: our closest friends here are also all transplants), whereas the very first day in Seattle felt like home to me. Maybe it's because we're from the UK so it has a lot more in common. Seattle is a lot more laid back and friendlier than San Jose, also a lot more liberal and open-minded. Granted, we've only been here 18 months compared with 6 years in Seattle, but like I said Seattle felt like home from the beginning. BUT, and it may seem like a superficial but, the weather plays an important factor here too. The sunshine is really the only thing I like about the south Bay Area. Abundant beautiful sunshine every day is a phenomenon to me that I did not have growing up and I have to say it makes a huge difference to mine and my husband's mental health.
Good to know about the Google office locations and limited software job market in SD too, thanks.
All our family are in the UK so that's not a factor in the decision making.
Moving closer to the ocean here isn't an option because the commute for my husband is already over an hour each way on a good day. Moving any further away would be impossible.
And I have to address 18Montclair's post above, mainly because it's the last one I can see above as I'm typing but also because it's impolite.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheryllouise
. The things we miss most about Seattle (obviously not the weather) are being close to the ocean
Hahaha say what? Seattle is not closer to the ocean than San Jose. What a crock.
[Have you been to Seattle? It's literally on the ocean. From where we lived in Seattle, we could drive to the ocean in under 10 minutes, Lake Washington in 5 minutes. Where we live in Almaden, south San Jose, we're lucky if we make it to the beach - in solid traffic - in under 90 minutes. So, yes, Seattle is closer to the ocean]
Quote:
and high crime and drug rates.
Not where you live.
[Actually yes where I live. San Jose is only safer than 24% of the cities in US, San Diego is 26% - granted Seattle is 4% Moderator cut: link removed, linking to competitor sites is not allowed
Quote:
Our local K-8 is good but the public high school is pretty sketchy.
WRONG. Leland High is a great school with very high test scores.
[Our local high school is Pioneer, not Leland. The sketchiness I've been told about from local parents, not witnessed myself however]
Quote:
And did I mention that I hate it here.
This is your right, but dont give us reasons that are bogus.
[Not bogus if you're familiar with both cities]
We have a lot to think about here, and I'm grateful for the input. We aren't in any position to make a decision (mainly because we have no job offer in SD) and certainly aren't planning a move in the next couple of years. The reason I posted was to get some broader opinions of the area and to know whether it was worth pursuing in the future, whether it was worth my husband keeping an eye out for jobs in SD, or whether it was worth us trying to firmly put down roots in SJ and make the best of it. Jury's out but I'll take your comments onboard and think more on it. Thank you!
I would definitely recommend you spend significant time in SD before doing something as major as a move. Much of the big name CA places (including Bay Area and SD) are fairly transient feeling. Many people are from other places and many of those are just passing through. At least it can feel that way. Depending on where you go in SD, you can also get some of that fake feeling although I think it's a little different than up north. One nice thing about SD is the different vibes of the various areas and neighborhoods.
SD does feel more laid back (i.e., slower pace) and not everyone in the coffee shops is excitedly talking about their series A funding, angels, et cetera. You might consider if the Google job is somehow imparting some of that frenetic pace to your overall life -- it can be surprising how much work affects your non-work life, especially if there's a mismatch in an important area. Making a lot of money is great, but it's not worth being unhappy in the long run.
Thank you all so much for the input! You bring up some great points for me to consider. The reason I didn't mention why I hate the south Bay Area (I'm not including SF in this because, as someone else rightly pointed out, traveling to SF on a regular basis is not an option) is because firstly, I didn't want to offend anyone here with loose generalizations about the people who we've mostly come into contact with, and secondly, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that is so dislikable. I suppose it comes down to the breathless pace of life here, the flashy one-upmanship, the techy superiority (of which, clearly being Googlers we are part of), the lack of good coffee places (joking). It just all feels so new and false, there's no character here and little in the way of culture (I'm not referring to theaters, museums necessarily, although SJ is definitely lacking here). There is natural beauty here but from where we live in the South Bay area, all you see are strip malls and more strip malls. From where we live, it takes 5 hours to drive to Tahoe, on a route which is always jammed with traffic. The beach is a 90-minute trek also in heavy weekend traffic. Everything feels so clogged and claustrophobic.
From day one in Silicon Valley, I felt like we didn't fit in, couldn't find many like-minded people (side note: our closest friends here are also all transplants), whereas the very first day in Seattle felt like home to me. Maybe it's because we're from the UK so it has a lot more in common. Seattle is a lot more laid back and friendlier than San Jose, also a lot more liberal and open-minded. Granted, we've only been here 18 months compared with 6 years in Seattle, but like I said Seattle felt like home from the beginning. BUT, and it may seem like a superficial but, the weather plays an important factor here too. The sunshine is really the only thing I like about the south Bay Area. Abundant beautiful sunshine every day is a phenomenon to me that I did not have growing up and I have to say it makes a huge difference to mine and my husband's mental health.
Good to know about the Google office locations and limited software job market in SD too, thanks.
All our family are in the UK so that's not a factor in the decision making.
Moving closer to the ocean here isn't an option because the commute for my husband is already over an hour each way on a good day. Moving any further away would be impossible.
And I have to address 18Montclair's post above, mainly because it's the last one I can see above as I'm typing but also because it's impolite.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheryllouise
. The things we miss most about Seattle (obviously not the weather) are being close to the ocean
Hahaha say what? Seattle is not closer to the ocean than San Jose. What a crock.
[Have you been to Seattle? It's literally on the ocean. From where we lived in Seattle, we could drive to the ocean in under 10 minutes, Lake Washington in 5 minutes. Where we live in Almaden, south San Jose, we're lucky if we make it to the beach - in solid traffic - in under 90 minutes. So, yes, Seattle is closer to the ocean]
[b]Quote:
and high crime and drug rates.
Not where you live.
[Actually yes where I live. San Jose is only safer than 24% of the cities in US, San Diego is 26% - granted Seattle is 4% Moderator cut: link removed, linking to competitor sites is not allowed/B]
Quote:
Our local K-8 is good but the public high school is pretty sketchy.
WRONG. Leland High is a great school with very high test scores.
[Our local high school is Pioneer, not Leland. The sketchiness I've been told about from local parents, not witnessed myself however]
Quote:
And did I mention that I hate it here.
This is your right, but dont give us reasons that are bogus.
[Not bogus if you're familiar with both cities]
We have a lot to think about here, and I'm grateful for the input. We aren't in any position to make a decision (mainly because we have no job offer in SD) and certainly aren't planning a move in the next couple of years. The reason I posted was to get some broader opinions of the area and to know whether it was worth pursuing in the future, whether it was worth my husband keeping an eye out for jobs in SD, or whether it was worth us trying to firmly put down roots in SJ and make the best of it. Jury's out but I'll take your comments onboard and think more on it. Thank you!
Re: crime, Cheryl, Irvine, the southern most city where Google is located in California, is also America's safest city. See here.
As for being close to the ocean, Google in Irvine is VERY close to the ocean.
It just all feels so new and false, there's no character here and little in the way of culture (I'm not referring to theaters, museums necessarily, although SJ is definitely lacking here). There is natural beauty here but from where we live in the South Bay area, all you see are strip malls and more strip malls. From where we live, it takes 5 hours to drive to Tahoe, on a route which is always jammed with traffic...heavy weekend traffic. Everything feels so clogged and claustrophobic.
I hope no one who lives there takes this the wrong way, but from what you're describing, I am not sure that the communities you mentioned in San Diego would be all that different to you than San Jose, aside from being closer to the ocean and *maybe* a tad more laid back about keeping up with the Joneses.
I often suggest that people who are thinking about relocating try to do a "real life" visit to the place they're considering. Rent a "regular" house or apartment for a week or two, shop in the local supermarkets, drive in traffic, visits the local schools, have your kids play in the local playground and just lives as much as a local as possible. Obviously, two weeks "living" some place won't be the same as actually living there, but it does help give one a better sense of how a place "lives" than staying in a hotel and doing fun, vacation things.
All that said, I definitely hear how unhappy you are in your current location, so I understand why you would like to escape. But, perhaps this is a case where considering a few different locations might be a good idea instead of rushing just to move again. Is there any chance of moving back to Seattle again? Or perhaps to a different part of the Bay area that feels more "like home" to you? Or perhaps other cities besides San Diego? Or maybe other areas in San Diego County (for example, I think you might like the Mission Hills area in the City of San Diego, which has something of a "Seattle" feel.)
In any case, I wish you and your husband luck with your decision!
Where we live in Almaden, south San Jose, we're lucky if we make it to the beach - in solid traffic - in under 90 minutes. So, yes, Seattle is closer to the ocean]
No, Seattle is not
Quote:
and high crime and drug rates.
Not where you live.
[Actually yes where I live. San Jose is only safer than 24% of the cities in US, San Diego is 26% - granted Seattle is 4% Moderator cut: link removed
[/quote]
Nope, The Almaden Valley does not have high crime nor is it known as a haven for drugs.
And now that you see that Seattle has more crime, why are you still talking about the issue? Both SJ and SD are safer overall.
Quote:
Quote:
Our local K-8 is good but the public high school is pretty sketchy.
WRONG. Leland High is a great school with very high test scores.
[Our local high school is Pioneer, not Leland. The sketchiness I've been told about from local parents, not witnessed myself however]
Pioneer had an API score of 825(good) and by sketchy do parents mean students pull pranks and do stupid kid stuff?
Quote:
Quote:
And did I mention that I hate it here.
This is your right, but dont give us reasons that are bogus.
[Not bogus if you're familiar with both cities]
We have a lot to think about here, and I'm grateful for the input. We aren't in any position to make a decision (mainly because we have no job offer in SD) and certainly aren't planning a move in the next couple of years. The reason I posted was to get some broader opinions of the area and to know whether it was worth pursuing in the future, whether it was worth my husband keeping an eye out for jobs in SD, or whether it was worth us trying to firmly put down roots in SJ and make the best of it. Jury's out but I'll take your comments onboard and think more on it. Thank you!
Maam,
you can leave or stay, Im not really losing sleep over it, I just dislike when people make comments such as yours that arent really true statistically speaking.
Say 'I dont like the cookie cutter look of Almaden Valley'--FINE that's your opinion.
Say 'I am uncomfortable around Mexicans'--FINE that's your opinion.
Say ' I dont like the lack of trees compared to Seattle'--FINE that's your opinion.
etc....god bless u for having an opinion.
But dont say something so outlandishly FALSE like Seattle is closer to the Ocean than San Jose...how absurd. Seattle is on the Puget Sound, that's not the ocean and it is most certainly NOT closer to the ocean than San Jose is. Nope.
Last edited by Count David; 01-12-2016 at 06:30 AM..
Reason: link to competing site
Your post is funny because we are a family of 4 that lived in South San Jose first for 5.5 years, then Bellevue/Issaquah for 5.5 years, and now we live in north San Diego in the Poway School District and have been here for over 2.5 years now. So, all your locations have been our entire family history for the past 14 years or so.
In a nutshell, we felt exactly as you do about South San Jose...boring, didn't fit in, didn't feel like home, TERRIBLE traffic, etc, etc. When we left San Jose for Seattle, I swore I would never come back to California because of the high cost of living, traffic, etc.
I actually liked Seattle but we all HATED the weather so much with a passion that we had to get the hell out. The traffic in Seattle was also terrible, and I honestly wasn't crazy about a lot of the people...but found enough friends to be happy in that regard. I do miss the snow skiing for sure, but I hated that I couldn't go biking or hiking (without cold/rain) for so much of the year.
On to San Diego. We are in love with this place and never want to leave. The elementary school where my kids go is amazing. My commute is super easy (reverse commute)...20 minutes. The weather is unparalleled. The coastal towns and scenery all over the county is beautiful. Housing is pricey, no doubt...but it's NOTHING like the Bay Area. You can get a really nice house (4/2.4, 2400 sq ft) for $750-$800K in an awesome school district. I can go on and on. San Diego destroys the Bay Area and Seattle, no contest. Granted, it's all our opinion so take it with a grain of salt. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have.
I was born and raised in Palo Alto. I also lived in Saratoga and Los Gatos. I am very well acquainted with the Bay Area. I left because I HATED the traffic! I also love the beach, but it is not convenient to get to any old time you please and even then is not always nice (or even often for that matter). The Bay Area has some beautiful areas for sure. With respect to tech jobs they are a dime a dozen in the Bay Area. Did I mention I am a veteran real estate agent with 38 years in the business?
I never imagined San Diego as affordable. But, compared to the Bay Area it is! And, the beach is close even if you live inland 7 miles (15-20 minutes to great beach). Traffic (which I still HATE) is bad in certain areas at certain times, however life is about priorities. There are lovely communities here in San Diego where traffic is not bad, prices are reasonable, there are tech jobs, schools that are award winning, and the beautiful warm beach is only 15-20 minutes away. Your dream for such a quality of life is achievable. I am not saying these gems are hard to find, but I have always been able to find them for my relocation clients for the past 6 years to realize that same dream. I haven't failed yet. And none of my clients have regretted their move.
My husband is an electrical engineer who is also from Palo Alto. While we love Palo Alto, we would not give up our quality of life here in San Diego. I was very skeptical when I first relocated 6 years ago. But, I found so much natural beauty here, and I go to the beach for lunch nearly everyday! By the way, I don't live in a Million Dollar house, which I did in the Bay Area. And I am happier than I've every been. Also, my husband has never had any problem securing 6 figure tech jobs down here, and he's been here 30+ years.
Thanks, metoque - that is super helpful and kind of sums up how I was feeling about the three destinations. The weather in Seattle unfortunately is enough to keep us from ever moving back there now that we've sampled the California weather. If things move forward, I'll definitely inbox you with some questions
18montclair - goodness, we have got a bee in our bonnet, haven't we. It's funny because you really do sound like you might be losing sleep. Do you know what I do when I read a post that irks me? I ignore it and move on with my life. But since you seem to have taken umbrage with me and my opinions, and, based on your high reputation here you're clearly not a nasty troll, so let me assume your personal attack is due to a bad day and address your points again.
18montclair, have you actually been to Seattle? I lived there for 6 years so I know a thing or two about it. The city is surrounded by water on almost all sides. It's splitting hairs to say the Puget Sound is not ocean. Ocean, Sound - it's the same thing. We lived in North Seattle and could drive in under 10 minutes and be sitting on Golden Gardens, a sandy beach with waves, sand dunes, tide pools, seals, sailing boats, beach umbrellas, ice cream, the whole shebang. Google Map it if you still refuse to believe me. It's not California beaches, but it is still beaches. To get to the beach from where I currently live, we have to drive 90 minutes in heavy traffic. 90 minutes vs 10 minutes. I'm not sure if I can say it any other way. Seattle is closer to the ocean than San Jose. But in any case, my original post was not comparing distance to Seattle beaches vs distance to Bay Area beaches; I'm comparing distance to SD beaches vs distance to Bay Area beaches.
Crime in Almaden is at an all-time high: 176 Burglaries in 90 Days: Residents of San Jose's Almaden Valley Neighborhood Say They're Under Attack | NBC Bay Area
Comparing Almaden crime rates with Seattle is futile and personally does not bother me as, again, I'm not comparing Seattle and SJ, I'm comparing SD and SJ. My original post stated that the crime rates for both SJ and SD are similar. And if you think Almaden Valley doesn't have a drug problem, you're hallucinating.
Your opinions are valid. Racism is not. Nowhere did I state any feelings about being around Mexicans (your choice of word). Sir, that is funny and perhaps a reflection of how you feel about SJ? If that was in any way true, why would I be looking to move to a city that is 20 minutes from the Mexican border? I think you're just teasing me.
These are your opinions and you're entitled to them, but don't confuse how you feel about a city with how I might feel about it.
Sleep well.
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