Family of 4 struggling in Santee (San Diego, Paradise: apartment, renter, condos)

[MrsDavidson]

My family and I are in a bit of a pickle. Due to unexpected circumstances, we are currently getting ready to leave our apartment after 6 years in search of a (minimum) 3 bedroom home in Santee. However, we seem to be struggling quite a bit with getting the ball rolling. We didn't have a lot of notice available for this move, and at the time we were ok with living off of 1.5 incomes. We have spent the last couple weeks scrambling to 1) get 2 full time incomes, and 2) find a place that didn't require an arm and a leg for a deposit ON TOP of the rent. We do have our deposit from our current place that we are going to apply to a new place, but because we've been here for so long and the rental costs have skyrocketed over the years, our current deposit probably wont even cover half of the new one we'll need.

Here's a little financial backing to help give a better idea as well. We both (now) work full time, and make roughly 5300 a month. We do not have any crazy expenses either; VERY little debt, utilities, one car payment, and that's about it. I'm not entirely sure what is going wrong here, but we cannot seem to make it work. As it stands, most of the 3 bedroom homes in Santee range from about 2300-3000. We don't need anything fancy, but would prefer to find a SFH rather than another apartment. We're even open to condos or town homes, but those seem to be even MORE expensive than the SFH. I don't understand how that is possible. We are at the point of considering having a family member (who is also looking for a place) to just move in with us, because 3 incomes are better than one, right? But the fact that we have to rely on a roommate just to have a decent home for our family, isn't fun. Our concern is what happens if this family member decides to move out and get their own place in a year? Then what? We're right back to square one, and things will likely be even more expensive.

What I am trying to figure out, is HOW do families of 4 make it work on what is considered "good" income out here? And, better yet, how is it that there are sooo many stay at home moms in Santee?! How does everyone manage to afford these ridiculous costs on one income? 10 years ago, it was totally doable, but now I just can't figure out how to make it work.

We have considered moving out of San Diego, but we run into a few problems that primarily revolve around our kids and the fact that we share custody of them with their other parents. So moving even out of east county (sadly) is not an option. We are doomed to forever live in Santee. Or until our kids move out, then it's buh bye to California for us!

If anyone has any tips or tricks, or knows of any properties that are more affordable in the area, then please, please, please share all the knowledge you can give. Thanks!

[hitman619]

Originally Posted by MrsDavidson

My family and I are in a bit of a pickle. Due to unexpected circumstances, we are currently getting ready to leave our apartment after 6 years in search of a (minimum) 3 bedroom home in Santee. However, we seem to be struggling quite a bit with getting the ball rolling. We didn't have a lot of notice available for this move, and at the time we were ok with living off of 1.5 incomes. We have spent the last couple weeks scrambling to 1) get 2 full time incomes, and 2) find a place that didn't require an arm and a leg for a deposit ON TOP of the rent. We do have our deposit from our current place that we are going to apply to a new place, but because we've been here for so long and the rental costs have skyrocketed over the years, our current deposit probably wont even cover half of the new one we'll need.

Here's a little financial backing to help give a better idea as well. We both (now) work full time, and make roughly 5300 a month. We do not have any crazy expenses either; VERY little debt, utilities, one car payment, and that's about it. I'm not entirely sure what is going wrong here, but we cannot seem to make it work. As it stands, most of the 3 bedroom homes in Santee range from about 2300-3000. We don't need anything fancy, but would prefer to find a SFH rather than another apartment. We're even open to condos or town homes, but those seem to be even MORE expensive than the SFH. I don't understand how that is possible. We are at the point of considering having a family member (who is also looking for a place) to just move in with us, because 3 incomes are better than one, right? But the fact that we have to rely on a roommate just to have a decent home for our family, isn't fun. Our concern is what happens if this family member decides to move out and get their own place in a year? Then what? We're right back to square one, and things will likely be even more expensive.

What I am trying to figure out, is HOW do families of 4 make it work on what is considered "good" income out here? And, better yet, how is it that there are sooo many stay at home moms in Santee?! How does everyone manage to afford these ridiculous costs on one income? 10 years ago, it was totally doable, but now I just can't figure out how to make it work.

We have considered moving out of San Diego, but we run into a few problems that primarily revolve around our kids and the fact that we share custody of them with their other parents. So moving even out of east county (sadly) is not an option. We are doomed to forever live in Santee. Or until our kids move out, then it's buh bye to California for us!

If anyone has any tips or tricks, or knows of any properties that are more affordable in the area, then please, please, please share all the knowledge you can give. Thanks!

Are you originally from San Diego?
How do you know of some many SHAM living in Santee? Word of mouth, Personal knowledge, Stats
And why do you want to personally live in, Hot A$$ over Built Santee

[Spartanacus]

$5,300 a month net or gross? If gross, that's only $63K a year between the two of you. Many struggle making twice that. We do okay, but to survive with a nice standard of living (being able to not get in debt while being able to pay for our kid's club sports, etc.) in a 5BR home in a good area (PQ), my wife's two sister's live with us. Not ideal, but one is never there (she basically just stores her stuff at our place for $700 a month and stays with her boyfriend) and the other one helps with our pets and cooks for us. Good luck to you guys. It is pricey as hell to live in Paradise.

[saibot]

I think the bottom line is that $63k is no longer a "good" income for a family of 4 in San Diego. It's one thing if you bought or started renting 10+ years ago, another thing if you are trying to find a new rental today.

I understand you'd prefer to have a 3-bedroom SFH, but you may have to compromise on that and go for an apartment or a 2-bedroom place, even if temporarily.

The custody issue is a beast. I know other people who are struggling with it. Sorry about that.

[Liz_7]

You may already know this, but the rule of thumb for rent to income is 1/3. (Although in this market some landlords will accept 1/2.5) The minimum rent for a 3-bed you listed is 2300. 2300/5300 is over 40%. So even at the low end of your rent range, there's an argument to be made that rent is already too high to leave enough for your other expenses. Unfortunately it seems that the housing market is your #1 problem.

If you're willing to live with a family member, it's not a zero-sum game--even if they move out after a time, you've still saved money that you wouldn't have if they didn't live there at all.

[nightlysparrow]

Do your kids really need to have their own bedrooms? That seems like a luxury you can't afford. You could put up a room divider instead and get a 2-bedroom.

[GSR13]

Originally Posted by nightlysparrow

Do your kids really need to have their own bedrooms? That seems like a luxury you can't afford. You could put up a room divider instead and get a 2-bedroom.

I imagine that would depend if the kids are the same gender or not.

[MrsDavidson]

Originally Posted by hitman619

Are you originally from San Diego?
How do you know of some many SHAM living in Santee? Word of mouth, Personal knowledge, Stats
And why do you want to personally live in, Hot A$$ over Built Santee

Because I've lived here most of my life, have two children that have gone to school in Santee for the last 6 years, and was a SAHM a few years back There are LOTS of SAHMs in Santee, living in really nice condos and homes. We had considered buying one a few years ago, but after doing some research and delving into the market for a bit, we decided against buying in San Diego. And I want to live in Santee because my kids' school is here. It's just easier for us to stay close by rather than backtracking between three places (home, school, work). It's definitely not ideal, but it's what we need for now. The problem we seem to be having, is just finding someone who is willing to work with us on a rental. We can afford a higher rent (preferably no more than 2600), but trying to come up with a deposit on top of the rent is what's difficult. Unfortunately, we don't have the option of waiting until we're more prepared either.

[MrsDavidson]

Originally Posted by Spartanacus

$5,300 a month net or gross? If gross, that's only $63K a year between the two of you. Many struggle making twice that. We do okay, but to survive with a nice standard of living (being able to not get in debt while being able to pay for our kid's club sports, etc.) in a 5BR home in a good area (PQ), my wife's two sister's live with us. Not ideal, but one is never there (she basically just stores her stuff at our place for $700 a month and stays with her boyfriend) and the other one helps with our pets and cooks for us. Good luck to you guys. It is pricey as hell to live in Paradise.

That's roughly net. My husband's paychecks can fluctuate much higher depending on things. I'm thinking that is the route we're going to have to go, tbh. It's not ideal, but it will benefit us all in the long run. The family member that wants to move in with us is young, just out of college (though already has a great job), and has only ever lived at home. So this is their chance to feel a little more independent while having a little safety net, and also to build up some good renter history for when they're ready to move out on their own. Plus, we'd have some help with our kids when need be, so that's a bonus. My concern is what happens when the year is up and they want to leave, but the rent has increased another couple hundred. We'll be back to square one. I'm hoping we'll be in the position to take on the full rent ourselves at that point, but that's tricky with how quickly the cost of rentals is going up out here. I've watched listings on Trulia increase by quite a bit just over the last 2 weeks. It's terrible. And honestly, I don't know if I would call San Diego "paradise" :/ Not that I don't love this place, cuz it's been my home all my life. But out of all the things that make it a so called "paradise", we never get to experience it because we're too busy working to be able to afford living here. If we had the option of moving out of state, we would do it in a heartbeat. If only just so we could afford to actually LIVE and not work 24/7. It's sad.

[MrsDavidson]

Originally Posted by saibot

I think the bottom line is that $63k is no longer a "good" income for a family of 4 in San Diego. It's one thing if you bought or started renting 10+ years ago, another thing if you are trying to find a new rental today.

I understand you'd prefer to have a 3-bedroom SFH, but you may have to compromise on that and go for an apartment or a 2-bedroom place, even if temporarily.

The custody issue is a beast. I know other people who are struggling with it. Sorry about that.

Unfortunately, that's why we need the 3 bedroom. We have one girl, and one boy, and they can't share a room. They have been since they were toddlers, but now it's apparently not allowed. So we're in a bind.