Any Single Moms w/ Advice? (San Diego, Escondido: real estate, apartment, to rent)

[NY/CA Bound]

Hi. I'm about to graduate with my Master's this May and am looking to get out of TX by the end of the summer if not the end of they year. Frankly I'm tired of the horrible summers and lack of culture. I don't have a job lined up just yet, but I do know the starting salary in my field is about $55k plus there are annual bonuses and generous annual salary increases.

I'm a single mom of a little boy who will be in 3rd grade soon. I absolutely love NYC but of course am concerned with raising a child there. He loves it too (although it's not his decision of course) and I sometimes think being around all the culture and diversity may be beneficial. CA (San Diego exactly) is kind of a fall back, but it's almost just as expensive there so I don't really know how much I'd be saving there. I think it's a beautiful city and a lot more calm, but not as diverse.

Are there any single moms here on the boards who can offer any advice about raising a child in the city, such as costs I may not be aware of, or even just the hardships?

Thanks!

[sfosyd]

Hi,

In my opinion, NY is the greatest city in the world but it can be tough to live in, and I believe almost impossible for a salary of 55k for one, let alone two. If you must move to the area, I recommend certain towns in New Jersey such as Montclair, Maplewood, or other such areas.

I can tell you that San Diego does not even begin to compare to the New York area in terms of expense. Just to get setup in an apartment in NY, you generally need 15% of a years rent as a broker fee. You also need 40 times the rent in annual income to qualify or have a guaranteer. This would be an $80,000 annual income on a $2,000 a month apartment (impossible to find a 2 bed in Manhattan at this price, tough to find in a decent area outside). The requirements are rigorous and enforced. The school situation in beyond competitive, you would not believe what parents do and pay to get their kids into top NURSERY schools. Seriously. The city automatically takes 4% of your annual income and the state taxes are higher than CA. The commutes are the longest in the country as well. Also, there are more energy and clothing expenses due to the torrid climate. Groceries are much higher priced and less fresh than CA.

It's definitely possible to rent a decent place in a good school district in San Diego for $1500 a month. This is really not possible in NY city....

I think San Diego is a nice place for kids and there is enough culture here including a pretty great theater scene. Don't forget LA is only a few hours away for better museums, shows etc, easily doable for a weekend. Also, I think the suburban areas of San Diego are actually more diverse than the suburban areas of NYC (such as Jersey and Long Island).

Good luck!

[Donna7]

I agree with the above poster. In my opinion, go where the opportunities are and forget the rest. There's problems anywhere you go. You know what you want for you and your child. In my opinion, women (single or married, with or without children) should go where there is opportunity for them to excel and grow. Wishing you the best.

[NY/CA Bound]

Thanks for the advice. I do love NY, but you're right, it probably would be really hard to live there now. Just to mention b/c I didn't before, I would not live in Manhattan. I would go to Brooklyn or Queens where it is more feasible to rent for $1500-1600/mo.

I was looking on Craigslist though at SD apt. listings and some of them also want deposits equal to the first month's rent. I found a really nice apt. in Escondido and they wanted $1350 for the deposit, which was the rent too. This was through a real estate agent though. The only difference I see b/w the 2 cities is that SD has a lot of apt. complexes and NYC doesn't. The complexes are the ones with the move-in specials usually, however, in SD they are very expensive in the nicer, family-friendly neighborhoods.

Besides rents though, my main concern is safety and good schools. I of course want activities for both my child and myself, but they are of secondary importance.

As far as job opportunities go, I have no idea how SD is. I know in NYC, you don't get paid enough to sustain the cost of living, but I've read here SD is the same way.

[LookingtoLeave]

I'm in a similar situation. I wonder how much childcare costs in SD. I'm interested to know if you get any response on that. Best of luck to ya!

[NYSD1995]

Originally Posted by LookingtoLeave

I'm in a similar situation. I wonder how much childcare costs in SD. I'm interested to know if you get any response on that. Best of luck to ya!

We're starting to look into it. 800-1000/mo seems about the norm, it can go much higher.

[cnkad]

Originally Posted by LookingtoLeave

I'm in a similar situation. I wonder how much childcare costs in SD. I'm interested to know if you get any response on that. Best of luck to ya!

depending on the area and age of the child it can run from about 150 a week (this is for full time daycare) to over 200 a week per child.

[NY/CA Bound]

As far as I'm concerned, I only need after school care since my little one is already in elementary school.

[Victoria92008]

Escondido, is not a desirable place to live. What career path are you taking? I was born in San Diego and I can tell you where you should be.

Originally Posted by NY/CA Bound

Thanks for the advice. I do love NY, but you're right, it probably would be really hard to live there now. Just to mention b/c I didn't before, I would not live in Manhattan. I would go to Brooklyn or Queens where it is more feasible to rent for $1500-1600/mo.

I was looking on Craigslist though at SD apt. listings and some of them also want deposits equal to the first month's rent. I found a really nice apt. in Escondido and they wanted $1350 for the deposit, which was the rent too. This was through a real estate agent though. The only difference I see b/w the 2 cities is that SD has a lot of apt. complexes and NYC doesn't. The complexes are the ones with the move-in specials usually, however, in SD they are very expensive in the nicer, family-friendly neighborhoods.

Besides rents though, my main concern is safety and good schools. I of course want activities for both my child and myself, but they are of secondary importance.

As far as job opportunities go, I have no idea how SD is. I know in NYC, you don't get paid enough to sustain the cost of living, but I've read here SD is the same way.

[Victoria92008]

Escondido is not a desirable location for a single mom, the schools are terrible.