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Old 12-06-2008, 06:26 PM
20 posts, read 61,015 times
Reputation: 10


I'm at a really confusing point in my life guys and I need some advice. I was planning on going to live at uni spring semester, but that fell through when they are going to be charging me $5000 more out of state because I don't have a GC and lived in CT for 9 years. I've been living at home for the 1.5 years of college and I totally hate it. I want to move to California for a little badly. I just want to experience living on my own. I visited SD last vacation and it was heaven on earth for me. Now I'm stuck without a job (already gave them 2 weeks, thinking I was going away to school on January). I can't get good courses at the current one and I HATE living at home. I have about $5000 in savings and a good car. My parents really want me to stay home and keep on going to the college at home but I've had this plan for a year now. I really don't know what to do. Staying here will NOT make me happy. I just want to explore and experience living on my own.

- school said I have to pay out of state because of my status in the US
- already gave my job which pays $15/hr 2 weeks because I thought I was going to dorm away in January
- good classes at current classes are already taken
- I'm miserable at home, I want to get away (I can't stand another semester)
- Considering moving to cali for at least a couple of months with my savings ($5000) to get my head on straight
- parents strongly oppose it

Any advice??
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Old 12-07-2008, 08:35 AM
22 posts, read 71,211 times
Reputation: 21
Um, how about asking for your old ($15/hr) job back?
This is only one opinion, but my advice would be to read the other "coming to S.D. unprepared" posts, and reviewing the advice of others.

SD is fairly expensive, you would blow through 5,000 fairly quickly I think.

I'm not there yet, but everything I've read, been counselled and checked out says this is not exactly a budget town...

Consider finishing your degree first. This is paramount. There's many party days ahead, I promise. School should come first. Your definition of a "good class" not available at the current place might not reflect reality, as you're wearing your glasses of "I hate my life here". Take off those glasses, thank your folks for allowing you to stay with them, nurture a loving relationship with them, (they obviously rock, and still support you regardless) and get even more ground under you.

My two cents...hope its eye opening.
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Old 12-07-2008, 03:54 PM
63 posts, read 280,282 times
Reputation: 50
Moving to San Diego absolutely will not make you happy. Only you can decide to be happy and content in your circumstances. Move here, and you'll just bring your problems with you. Get your head on straight where you are, and then look at why or why not to move. Believe it or not, your folks have your best interests at heart, and probably know more about you and your issues than you do. Moving here in your current status would likely be a disaster...
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:10 AM
Location: San Diego native.
470 posts, read 1,682,687 times
Reputation: 118
I spent thousands of dollars moving around this state and others pursuing the "right" college and the "right" job/promotional opportunities. I have come to the conclusion that after twenty years of pursuing this expensive and rootless pattern, it makes the most sense for me to stay put in a location where I have a social network, activities I love, beautiful weather, and a lifetime of memories to cherish from having grown up here. This list is more inclusive of the personal factors I consider in wanting to make San Diego my permanent home.

I believe its worthwhile to be willing to sacrifice and struggle for what you really want. That being said, in an extremely difficult economy such as this one, an expensive move for a vacation interlude probably doesn't make sense. If you are on the other hand committed to remaining in the area after college, it may very well be worth the risk of taking a pay cut in San Diego.

I think it is very practical to attend college in the area you would like to live upon graduation. You will have the opportunity to develop faculty and professional contacts, intern, volunteer, take relevant part-time jobs, and generally network yourself strategically to better the chances of establishing roots in the professional community of San Diego in your desired field.

Best of luck to you, and if you need any assistance in college decision making for the San Diego area, that's my specialty.
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:15 AM
Location: San Diego native.
470 posts, read 1,682,687 times
Reputation: 118
You might also want to consider taking some online general education courses at a lower cost online university while you are in a holding pattern. A couple I would suggest would be Thomas Edison State University (New Jersey based) and Western Governor's University (Utah based)
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Old 12-09-2008, 01:57 PM
Location: Oakland, CA
289 posts, read 1,238,226 times
Reputation: 343
There are very few caring parents who encourage their kid to move out. Even my parents were extremely discouraging when I told them I'm not moving back home after college, and they were huge on teaching me and my siblings on how to be independent. When you're ready to live on your own, you have to ignore their advice and just do it.

My advice is: You only live once. What's life without taking risks? If you have a plan, then go for it. Yes, it's going to be a struggle. That's adulthood.

If you want to finish your degree, which is always a good idea, you only need to live in CA for a year to get residency, and then you can transfer.


Last edited by theh; 12-09-2008 at 02:37 PM..
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