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Hello everyone, first post here. I've been reading a lot of the threads, but wanted to get people's advice on the decisions that lie ahead for me. First quick back story:
I am currently living in Ohio, the state I was born in and most of my family is here, but I haven't lived here since I was 12 (moved away to live with my father in va beach, VA). I've come back here to go to college while getting reacquainted with my family (whom before this I had not literally seen in like 4 years, bad I know).
I was in a 4 year relationship with my daughter's mother and we recently separated (at the end of Jan). I have a son that lives with his mother in Wisconsin, she is buying a brand new home, and she found out I was now available and started talks with me about possibly moving out there, getting settled in with her, raise my son (which sounds great), etc.
Problem is with that scenario, I am not truly sure it would work out between us, and I've just come out of a four year relationship and I am not sure if I am completely over her (my daughter's mother). Also, I realized I can not possibly live here in Ohio for the next 4 years to finish this degree. I am just not happy in this Midwest environment, more like utterly miserable. I stay to myself because the people here are just so ignorant and ghetto.
I've always dreamed of living in California, for it's weather, and everything else it encompasses. I used to have neighbors who were from California in VA beach and they were so different than everyone in my court, they were the NICEST people in my court. lol Everyone thought they were up to something "because no one could be that nice" lol it was funny to me. But they gave me the impression of how different the west coast is from the east.
I know Cali has it's own share of issues, I've lived in a ton of different environments from Missouri, to Maryland, DC, Orlando, San Antonio, and Ohio. I just have a dream of being in an environment that has beaches, a ton of things to do outdoors, a place I can express myself and finally obtain my dreams. I'd like to move there and finish out college (I was majoring in Economics but am thinking of switching it to something fitness related).
I plan on getting certified in Personal Training and hopefully attending the San Diego Culinary Institute (as well as city college to finish out my 4 year degree). I have over 10 years in customer service, working as a govt contractor and prior military service (Army). Do you think with my background it would be tough to find a job there? While I attend school
I also would receive about over 1300 a month while attending school full time from my GI bill from the Army, so that will definitely be applied to rent, I know and have heard the cost of living is high, but I managed fine in DC where I was paying about 1200 for a 1 bedroom.
I am so confused because on one hand, who knows, things could work out for me and my son's mother but I would still would have this nagging feeling that I never went to Cali to be a personal trainer, obtain my degree, and become a chef. Plus, living in Wisconsin is still midwest and I just not a midwest person (no offense to those who are, my family is from the midwest and they're good people ). It's very late so this may all be jumbled.
I just have to make a decision, oh! One more thing I may add, I have a brother living in San Diego who said him and his wife wouldn't mind that I come stay with them until I find a job and get on my feet there, which makes this move even more of an option for me.
Schooling shouldn't be a problem for you, the biggest issue though is housing. Like most newcomers from out of state, they are always shocked of how much less of everything you get out here but cost much more money.
You must keep your dreams and aspirations in perspective, don't get too far ahead of yourself. Cali is a nice place to live, but some might find many parts to be fake feeling with a lot of fake materialistic people which is true. San Diego is not as bad when it comes to materialism like Orange County, but we definitely have it. Not everybody is like this though, I'm not like this at all, born in SD and practically raised here.
People are generally happy in San Diego because of the constant sunshine and many people doing financially well. We do have tons of transplants living in San Diego, so you would fit right in, people don't judge you here based on the way you act or by your accent, or the way you walk, because many locals know that this city is full of non San Diegan's which partly is because of the military. Plus we are much more open minded than the rest of the country= California in general.
I have my own personal beef with San Diego that I will probably discuss later, but I'm trying to stay as positive as possible here.
I don't see how you could live off $1300 a month in SD. I mean, after you get on your feet from your bro's pad in all, that's barely enough money for rent, not including food, transportation cost, random bills, etc.
Before you make the big trip out west, make sure you have everything planned before you do anything, this means gathering together enough money for survival, get your schooling set and ready to go when you first get off that plane. You basically want a smooth transition, and try to eliminate as many errors or mishaps as possible.
Schooling shouldn't be a problem for you, the biggest issue though is housing. Like most newcomers from out of state, they are always shocked of how much less of everything you get out here but cost much more money.
You must keep your dreams and aspirations in perspective, don't get too far ahead of yourself. Cali is a nice place to live, but some might find many parts to be fake feeling with a lot of fake materialistic people which is true. San Diego is not as bad when it comes to materialism like Orange County, but we definitely have it. Not everybody is like this though, I'm not like this at all, born in SD and practically raised here.
People are generally happy in San Diego because of the constant sunshine and many people doing financially well. We do have tons of transplants living in San Diego, so you would fit right in, people don't judge you here based on the way you act or by your accent, or the way you walk, because many locals know that this city is full of non San Diegan's which partly is because of the military. Plus we are much more open minded than the rest of the country= California in general.
I have my own personal beef with San Diego that I will probably discuss later, but I'm trying to stay as positive as possible here.
I don't see how you could live off $1300 a month in SD. I mean, after you get on your feet from your bro's pad in all, that's barely enough money for rent, not including food, transportation cost, random bills, etc.
Before you make the big trip out west, make sure you have everything planned before you do anything, this means gathering together enough money for survival, get your schooling set and ready to go when you first get off that plane. You basically want a smooth transition, and try to eliminate as many errors or mishaps as possible.
good luck man
Thanks for the info! The 1300 was in addition to whatever I would be paid once I find a job out there. I have a job that starts at the end of this month for 12 weeks working for the US Census Bureau here in Ohio, I figured I could save up to add on to what I already have saved up, plus the extra 1300 per month for the next 3 months then move out there by the end of June early July with that money to my brothers.
Hopefully buy then I will have a job lined up, school set to go, so all I will really need to do is find a place to call my own with the money I have saved up. I am not to worried about running into superficial people, had a lot of those people in Georgetown in DC when I lived there. I'll probably end up keeping to myself for a while, while I focus on getting my roots planted in SD and taking care of my goals.
If I sound like a mom that is what I am. It appears you have moved around a lot, don't seem to find anyplace really right for you and have lots of issues. I think you might be better off examining what it is you really want out of life and then decide where you are going to find it. Right now you have 2 kids to support, are trying to decide what your carreer should be and know nothing about Ca except you had neighbors that were from Ca and really nice. Everyplace has really nice people. Not everything or eveyone in Ohio is ignorant, some of the best colleges in the country are right there in Ohio..
I will also add, if you do come to Ca, go to school full time and plan on making enough money to even begin to makes ends meet you can forget about the enjoying the beaches or any of the other outside activiites. You will be busy every waking hour..
California might eventually be the place for you, but at least get an education first..
I take care of my responsibilities folks, my children receive everything they need from me each month, on top of that they stay with me for months on end when they can. That aspect of my life is already taken care of but thanks for the concern.
I moved around a lot because I was in the military...and I've been around this country enough to know where I want to be. What I really want out of life is to be in San Diego, going to school full time, working full time and getting a lot more done in an environment that makes me happy that I in turn am more productive, more motivated than I am here.
I think your child should come first, even if things don't work out with the ex....at least live close enough so you can be a part of his life. Once you have a child, your desires become secondary. I know that not a very "modern" notion these days, but one day you will regret not seeing your child grow up.
Anyway, do you know how many personal trainers and wanna be chefs there are in SD? Way too many. A friend of mine did attend that culinary school and was placed in a restaurant but the pay was very low.
I take care of my responsibilities folks, my children receive everything they need from me each month, on top of that they stay with me for months on end when they can. That aspect of my life is already taken care of but thanks for the concern.
I moved around a lot because I was in the military...and I've been around this country enough to know where I want to be. What I really want out of life is to be in San Diego, going to school full time, working full time and getting a lot more done in an environment that makes me happy that I in turn am more productive, more motivated than I am here.
Well glad to hear you are taking care of your children, but I still wonder how you think you will be able to find a job that will pay you enough to support your two kids and go to school full time? If you move to Ca you will have out of state tuition to pay..You say people in Ohio are ignorant, can you explain why you feel that way? What do you mean, get a lot more done an enviornment that makes you happy? It sounds more like you think the grass may be greener on the other side...
How often do you think you will be able to see those 2 kids when you are living in California? They need more than financual support, they need to see dad as often as possible.
Now, if you are so sure this is what you want out of life, why did you bother to ask for opinions? Even with the $1300 a month you get right now and what you will make doing census, how are you going to save much when you have child support and how are you doing census when you are in school full time? If you are only doing census part time you really aren't making much money...??
It sounds to me like you will do what you want regardless of what others say. You were hoping to come here and have everyone wish you good luck, it isn't working that way..
You mention being a personal trainer, one of our granddaughters best friends is one in Texas. To get the jobs that pay well you need a bach degree and even a masters. You don't just go to personal training school. Maybe in some places but not in So California...
Being a chef is a great goal, I wish I had persued this more, but right now this is the hottiest thing going, everyone is going to go to chefs school, get out, work in a top restautant, open their own or maybe get on TV. For 1000 who have these dreams maybe 1 will be successful enough to make a really good living. I assume you are an excellant cook already and have experience, right?
To the original poster; do whatever you want. Don't listen to anyone, especially to people that tell you what to do and judge you even though they have no clue who you are and what you are about. By the way, I've lived in OH for almost 40 years; I know what you are talking about the "Midwest mentality". You don't have to convince me. If you are taking care of your kids (like you say that you are), you are the best judge of your situation. Please do not listen to negative people; they are always out there trying to steal someone's dream away in order to make themselves look so important. I have friends that live in CA, people who have moved from various parts of the Midwest and they are doing quite well for themselves; they are all entrepreneurs and have done quite well for themselves. They aren't exactly "young" either; most of them are in their 50's and 60's. If you're going to spend your life striving towards your dreams; do it where you're happy. Go wherever you heart takes you and do what others tell you you cannot. Life is too short to listen to dream-stealers.
Well glad to hear you are taking care of your children, but I still wonder how you think you will be able to find a job that will pay you enough to support your two kids and go to school full time? If you move to Ca you will have out of state tuition to pay..You say people in Ohio are ignorant, can you explain why you feel that way? What do you mean, get a lot more done an enviornment that makes you happy? It sounds more like you think the grass may be greener on the other side...
How often do you think you will be able to see those 2 kids when you are living in California? They need more than financual support, they need to see dad as often as possible.
Now, if you are so sure this is what you want out of life, why did you bother to ask for opinions? Even with the $1300 a month you get right now and what you will make doing census, how are you going to save much when you have child support and how are you doing census when you are in school full time? If you are only doing census part time you really aren't making much money...??
It sounds to me like you will do what you want regardless of what others say. You were hoping to come here and have everyone wish you good luck, it isn't working that way..
You mention being a personal trainer, one of our granddaughters best friends is one in Texas. To get the jobs that pay well you need a bach degree and even a masters. You don't just go to personal training school. Maybe in some places but not in So California...
Being a chef is a great goal, I wish I had persued this more, but right now this is the hottiest thing going, everyone is going to go to chefs school, get out, work in a top restautant, open their own or maybe get on TV. For 1000 who have these dreams maybe 1 will be successful enough to make a really good living. I assume you are an excellant cook already and have experience, right?
Ok, now you can start blasting me away...
I think my resume has more than enough qualifications that I won't be stuck in some retail job making minimum wage, and if I can find time to see my children here (when they are at least an 8 hour drive away both ways, west and east) then I will definitely find time for them in California.
My children are my motivation and they come first in my life. Have you ever lived here in Ohio? My ex and I were an interracial couple (she's white, I am black), to give you an example of the ignorance here, we went to Dennys to eat breakfast.
The servers were busy, so the manager came over he greeted her, made eye contact with her, and only took her order before he proceed to walk away! If this isn't blatant ignorance and you only thinking I am seeing what I want to see then I am sorry. It's not just the white people here either, the rate of crime here is unheard of, it seems like all the black youth here are either selling drugs or robbing people to make ends meet.
Dayton, oh is the 8th rank in the cities that are dying in America and you think it's roses here and I should tough it out and do what? There are no jobs here whatsoever, way too much crime, even hate crime. I might as well live in Detroit because these two cities have no difference.
I am not looking for opinions that side with mine, but if you ask me questions as to why I have this notion of being in California I am going to tell you how it is. I do not care with everyone else is doing, these are my own dreams, I love to cook, I have a passion for it, so I want to be a Chef.
I love fitness, I love taking care of my body's needs through exercise and eating right, if I can help others then that's what I will do. This country obesity rate isn't going any where no time soon, so there are plenty of people to help reclaim their lives away from poor health choices, regardless of the saturation of people who will be competing in the same industry.
Plus I am working on my bach in a fitness related major so I can have that edge other than my personal training certification. Finally, if you must know more about my financial background other than my own investments that still provide cash flow (legally, before any one jumps down that path) I can take care of my financial obligations.
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). It's very late so this may all be jumbled. 
I have a job that starts at the end of this month for 12 weeks working for the US Census Bureau here in Ohio, I figured I could save up to add on to what I already have saved up, plus the extra 1300 per month for the next 3 months then move out there by the end of June early July with that money to my brothers. 
