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well, I'm a size 2 and don't have a prob getting attention from men, so your "lose the extra weight" comment doesn't apply (if it was meant towards me for some reason). I was warning the OP about the guys in SD because I was there for 4 yrs and IN GENERAL that was the very fair assessment. Obviously there are exceptions everywhere you go. I never said I had a problem getting attention (so don't assume ppl on here need to lose weight), I said the quality of men was not very high. As you can tell from the posts before me, I am certainly not the only one with this opinion.
SD is largely a college town and a place for families, so I was refering to the guys out of college in their late 20's and 30's.
If you are a cultured, educated, respectful, quality man in SD, my generalization does not apply to you, so don't be offended. Rather be thrilled because you should have your pick of the women. :-)
Ashlae, I think in your case, my post here (as well as other people's) wouldn't apply so much, because you would be going for college. I think 20-25 is a great age to be in SD. The city itself has lots of benefits and is very pretty with nice weather. Like I said, it's a college town, so if you are in college, I would think it would be great.
The OP was moving in her late twenties - and solely for the men. It is much different living in a city as a post grad professional than a college student. The problem I noticed (as do so many other women I meet), was that being that it is a college town with a college feel, many of the late 20 - late 30 something men seemed to still be in "college mode," so to speak - and their interests and activities never seem to evolve from that of a 21 yr old. According to other posters earlier, this included even some of the 40 somethings, and I am not surprised.
When I said that they aren't respectful of women, I was NOT pertaining to the way they acted in relationship - I was never interested in dating these types, so I wouldn't know. I was referring to a lack of etiquette and manners when they were around other women.
So no woman has to date all - or for that matter ANY - of these types of guys to make an credible observation.
There is a reason so there are so many beautiful, single women in SD: because they can't find men they are interested in dating. (Note: I never said anything about physical appearance or income level of the men - I am referring only to maturity, class and caliber of the person.)
There is a blog on single in SD if you google the "Velvet Rope." There are plenty gripes from the men as well, many valid, IMO. Some of the posts are comically true and worth the entertaining read.
SD is largely a college town and a place for families, so I was refering to the guys out of college in their late 20's and 30's.
That is new to me, I've never considered SD a "college town." To me that applies to somewhere where the atmosphere is largely revolved around the college students like San Luis Obispo or Chico. With ~3.5 million in the metro area, I think it is too diverse to be such.
Also, referring to some previous posts, the military people seem to be in their own social circle. I don't really run into them unless I am in the right spots.
That is new to me, I've never considered SD a "college town." To me that applies to somewhere where the atmosphere is largely revolved around the college students like San Luis Obispo or Chico. With ~3.5 million in the metro area, I think it is too diverse to be such.
Also, referring to some previous posts, the military people seem to be in their own social circle. I don't really run into them unless I am in the right spots.
Windnsea, SD is def. not a college town the way SLO is. It is a major city, but a city packed with 4 major universities and a number of additional smaller colleges. If you go out to PB or the Gaslamp you see a lot of college kids - or kids 25 and under, whom you assume are in or fresh out of college. If you go to a cafe/coffee shop in La Jolla (there is a popular one), it is mainly filled with UCSD students.
Obviously there are 25-40 yr olds, but the young professional scene there is not what it would be in other major cities and the activities and events seem to revolve more around college life. Think PB, drinking beer all day at the beach, "lying out," Street Scene, PB Block party, etc.
In most major cities you see more post-collegiate folk going to art galleries, congregating at coffee houses, wine and cheese parties, art museums, the occasional symphony - more sophisticated venues than what we all did back in college.
There are also a lot of families in SD, understandably so due to the zoo, sea world and animal park. Overall, I don't get a booming "young professional" vibe, and whether I am out at dinner, at the mall, or in the gaslamp, I still feel a college atmosphere and frat boy mentality from the men. (I was Greek once too, but just don't need to live it for 10+ years.)
You are right about the military guys, they tend to stick with their own and not socialize with others - even when at a party or event. But I think their presence skews the city data that says that "Man" Diego has more men, which is sort of misleading. If you took the military out, it wouldn't.
well, I'm a size 2 and don't have a prob getting attention from men, so your "lose the extra weight" comment doesn't apply (if it was meant towards me for some reason). I was warning the OP about the guys in SD because I was there for 4 yrs and IN GENERAL that was the very fair assessment. Obviously there are exceptions everywhere you go. I never said I had a problem getting attention (so don't assume ppl on here need to lose weight), I said the quality of men was not very high. As you can tell from the posts before me, I am certainly not the only one with this opinion.
SD is largely a college town and a place for families, so I was refering to the guys out of college in their late 20's and 30's.
If you are a cultured, educated, respectful, quality man in SD, my generalization does not apply to you, so don't be offended. Rather be thrilled because you should have your pick of the women. :-)
No, the "lose the extra weight" wasn't directed towards you. It's my snarky sarcasm that comes across the wrong way to some.
I'm just curious as to what part of town you live in? I bet if you post the same question in other city threads you'll see that people will complain about their dating pools, as well.
No, the "lose the extra weight" wasn't directed towards you. It's my snarky sarcasm that comes across the wrong way to some.
I'm just curious as to what part of town you live in? I bet if you post the same question in other city threads you'll see that people will complain about their dating pools, as well.
Certainly there are pros and cons with every city, but in terms of dating, some are better than others. Men seem to love dating back east, for example, as there are so many women. San Jose doesn't have the same effect on them. lol. If you read my post just above your latest one, you can read where I contrast the culture of SD to most other major cities.
Thanks for clarifying that your "lose the extra weight" jab was not aimed at me. Now that I know this, I will say that I agree with your point that in order to attract someone you need to keep yourself looking your best (without plastic surgery, of course), and put your best foot forward when out and meeting people. But this goes for men as much as women.
Example from a girl's perspective: guy asks me out who lives in PB. I accept. He then tells me to drive out to him and meet him in PB. I ask if we can meet somewhere that's more equidistant to the both of us. He says NO, that he doesn't "leave the area." I ask if he had a car. He says YES. It gets better..... He then proceeds to instruct me on what to wear. "Wear flip-flops and jeans, and don't want you to be dressed up at all." I hadn't even had one date with the guy and he's dictating my wardrobe for dinner?? After continuing to refuse to meet me 1/2 way, I obviously declined this date.
In fairness, I only noticed this behavior with men who lived in PB, but that is a LOT of SD men. Normally, if a man asks us out, women are used to men who offer to pick us up or else meet us where it's convenient. I never experienced otherwise until I moved to SD.
Certainly there are pros and cons with every city, but in terms of dating, some are better than others. Men seem to love dating back east, for example, as there are so many women. San Jose doesn't have the same effect on them. lol. If you read my post just above your latest one, you can read where I contrast the culture of SD to most other major cities.
Thanks for clarifying that your "lose the extra weight" jab was not aimed at me. Now that I know this, I will say that I agree with your point that in order to attract someone you need to keep yourself looking your best (without plastic surgery, of course), and put your best foot forward when out and meeting people. But this goes for men as much as women.
Example from a girl's perspective: guy asks me out who lives in PB. I accept. He then tells me to drive out to him and meet him in PB. I ask if we can meet somewhere that's more equidistant to the both of us. He says NO, that he doesn't "leave the area." I ask if he had a car. He says YES. It gets better..... He then proceeds to instruct me on what to wear. "Wear flip-flops and jeans, and don't want you to be dressed up at all." I hadn't even had one date with the guy and he's dictating my wardrobe for dinner?? After continuing to refuse to meet me 1/2 way, I obviously declined this date.
In fairness, I only noticed this behavior with men who lived in PB, but that is a LOT of SD men. Normally, if a man asks us out, women are used to men who offer to pick us up or else meet us where it's convenient. I never experienced otherwise until I moved to SD.
Yeah, that guy sounds like a winner . Sounds like a wierdo to me. If I was going to dictate a woman's wardrobe, it won't be jeans and flip flops. It would be short skirts, high heels, and nylons even on a hot summer day . I'm just joking of course, I wouldn't make a girl dress like that, it is rather just my preference. Unfortunately, not many girls wear that style in San Diego nowadays, at least not when I was there a few years ago. It was more in style back in the 90's. Most girls nowadays in San Diego prefer to be bare legged, even in the winter months, and the climate is more comfortable for it.
Certainly there are pros and cons with every city, but in terms of dating, some are better than others. Men seem to love dating back east, for example, as there are so many women. San Jose doesn't have the same effect on them. lol. If you read my post just above your latest one, you can read where I contrast the culture of SD to most other major cities.
Thanks for clarifying that your "lose the extra weight" jab was not aimed at me. Now that I know this, I will say that I agree with your point that in order to attract someone you need to keep yourself looking your best (without plastic surgery, of course), and put your best foot forward when out and meeting people. But this goes for men as much as women.
Example from a girl's perspective: guy asks me out who lives in PB. I accept. He then tells me to drive out to him and meet him in PB. I ask if we can meet somewhere that's more equidistant to the both of us. He says NO, that he doesn't "leave the area." I ask if he had a car. He says YES. It gets better..... He then proceeds to instruct me on what to wear. "Wear flip-flops and jeans, and don't want you to be dressed up at all." I hadn't even had one date with the guy and he's dictating my wardrobe for dinner?? After continuing to refuse to meet me 1/2 way, I obviously declined this date.
In fairness, I only noticed this behavior with men who lived in PB, but that is a LOT of SD men. Normally, if a man asks us out, women are used to men who offer to pick us up or else meet us where it's convenient. I never experienced otherwise until I moved to SD.
That stinks that you have had multiple bad experiences out here in SD with men. I think though if you would have ventured more outside of the big party areas like PB and the Gaslamp District, however, you would have met a decent man. You are not going to find many winners in the big party areas in ANY city (including LA).
Funny thing is that I live in SD, I' am 25 years-old, in the military, and mature for my age (many of my friends tell me that I act more like a married 40 year-old man than a single 25 year-old sailor), and I only date older women (including young professionals) and I say the exact same thing about all of the young women (18-25 year-olds) out here in San Diego that you say about all of the men. I feel that it's hard to find a good woman out here in SD under a certain age.
BTW, congrats on being a size 2 (if you are in fact, really a size 2). It would be safe to say that only 10 percent of all women in this entire country achieve that size. Of course, you don't have to be really thin to get guys (and I mean DECENT & RESPECTABLE guys) to notice you. It really ticks me off when people care more about superficial crap like looks, money, and possesions than how a person is on the inside. I' am not saying that you are like that at all ; it just seems like that is what our society is becoming (i.e. a superficial garbage dump).
Anyway, there are dirtbags everywhere. Just be patient and the right one will come along. There are plenty of guys out here in SD and everywhere else besides me who are mature and don't think that life is just one big party.
Location: Proud home of the Parkview Little Leaguers
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I dated one that had me driving from Chula Vista to Encinitas every Friday at 6 p.m. (what a fool I was), but then along came the one (he was "the one") who picked me up at my door, opened the car door for me, and left a rose on my car seat. There are guys like that--you just have to keep looking
I dated one that had me driving from Chula Vista to Encinitas every Friday at 6 p.m. (what a fool I was), but then along came the one (he was "the one") who picked me up at my door, opened the car door for me, and left a rose on my car seat. There are guys like that--you just have to keep looking
Reminds me, my friend's mom and step-dad have been married around 15 years now. They were in the area to visit, and he still opens the car door for her.
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. Sounds like a wierdo to me. If I was going to dictate a woman's wardrobe, it won't be jeans and flip flops. It would be short skirts, high heels, and nylons even on a hot summer day 
. I'm just joking of course, I wouldn't make a girl dress like that, it is rather just my preference. Unfortunately, not many girls wear that style in San Diego nowadays, at least not when I was there a few years ago. It was more in style back in the 90's. Most girls nowadays in San Diego prefer to be bare legged, even in the winter months, and the climate is more comfortable for it.
I feel that it's hard to find a good woman out here in SD under a certain age.
