its lonely here (San Diego, Nice: fit in, home, law school)

[guineapiggie101]

Originally Posted by MAK802

Welcome to San Diego! We've been here for almost 2 years now and have found people to be very flaky here. Easy to meet them, hard to maintain those relationships. Most refuse to step out of their social circles!

I agree. I've been living in San Diego for over 4 years now and still haven't made any long-term friends. The only long-term friends I have right now are my 2 friends who moved from the Midwest with me (they don't live in San Diego though)

It's not hard to meet people but people don't seem to want to socialize outside of their circles and people seem more "laissez-faire" about their friendships.

Lately, I've started to workout at a gym and hope to meet people there eventually.

[moved]

What kinds of things do you like to do? What are your hobbies and interests? I haven't had any problems making friends and keeping them since I've been here. But I'm sure that's its due to my interests, hobbies and the fact that I've always worked in an office.

[hanna_house]

No offense, but it's only been 3 weeks! Give it some time and with a little initiative you are bound to expand your circle of friends. My husband and I have been living here for over a year and have done well meeting people at church, work, school, meetups and in the neighborhood. Sure, not everyone is going to be a best pal but it's nice to have acquaintances too as most good friends start out that way.

[kettlepot]

A longer range plan for meeting people, and meeting them outside of the Bar/Club milieu, is to join a community group. Many areas of the city have Town Councils and/or Planning Groups. You live in a building, that may have some kind of building association. Yes, the people you meet there will be older, but they also might have interesting advice about places to go that they remember from their younger days. And besides meeting people you will learn more about your neighborhood and city, and maybe over the long term, develop useful business contacts.

[mrmanz]

live in downtown, marina

[moved]

Do some volunteer work. Get a dog and go to a dog park.

[MAK802]

We joined quite a few Meetups and have found that 80% of the people that RSVP yes don't even show up! According to the organizers, it's common around here to say you're coming and just not show. The last Meetup had 16 yes RSVPs and besides the two organizers, we were the only ones to show! They have since stepped down as organizers.

We work from home, so not meeting people at work! Definitely not church kind of people, and neither of us goes to school.

We do have a dog, but dog park politics just might be worse than meeting people elsewhere! We're at the dog park every single night, and most people either keep to themselves and are on their cell phones the entire time, or create cliques, where they hang out with their friends and shun anyone who enters their little area. It's quite, humorous, actually!

Our next step in life is to have a human kid and I hear nothing but horror stories about the mommy wars! Apparently, your decision to formula feed and not use cloth diapers will have you shunned for life at the playground!

[djxpress]

Yes, welcome to San Diego. It is extremely hard to find good people here to be friends with. Not that they don't exist. But, people are very aloof here. Friendly, in a sort of "just going through the motions" sort of way.

When I went up to school in Nor Cal and visited San Francisco, I found people up there to be very genuine and really approachable. Here, people are nice, and you can make friends. But in order to keep them, it's like you really have to work at it. I don't know how many people have fallen off my radar in the last couple of years. It's like every 6 months, I have to go through my cell phone and delete a bunch of people I don't keep in contact with.

I've been to some meetups too, and OP, you got it right, people come to the meetups and do the activity and then leave. I really found them to be sort of like going on a eharmony date (which I admit to doing...once). Both the meetups and the eharmony date were just really awkward.

I think I've learned more about a lot of great people on these forums, than 75% of the people I know in person!

[MAK802]

We should have a San Diego CD Meetup. Apparently, we're the only normal and social people in this city!

[mrmanz]

yup.i i did a basketball meetup, and no matter how much i tried, people just wanted to do the activity.. also did some game meet ups,etc..

anyway im not losing hope yet.. just saying it sucks knowing its friday and im gonna spend the whole weekend again at home..