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Old 04-23-2010, 03:06 AM
 
Location: Malibu/Miami Beach
1,069 posts, read 3,272,213 times
Reputation: 443

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Buy a Harley and join HOG.
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Old 04-23-2010, 11:45 AM
 
88 posts, read 206,415 times
Reputation: 35
Go and dine out at restaurants by yourself. You can meet people that way.

Or else work out at a gym.
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Old 04-23-2010, 01:09 PM
 
137 posts, read 277,675 times
Reputation: 77
i've been in the same spot. you need to think outside the box. you're better off finding things you like to do and doing them. or join a social club. or if you're single, try online dating. you might meet a friend through someone you meet on there. don't be too hard on yourself. just be yourself. remember, no one is expected to be your tour guide. you gotta be your own tour guide. you also gotta think it's not so much the first person you meet, but the person that introduces you to the next person, etc etc etc. rome wasn't built in a day, as they say.

Last edited by swishplace; 04-23-2010 at 01:24 PM..
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Old 04-24-2010, 04:46 PM
 
402 posts, read 1,021,184 times
Reputation: 244
Quote:
Originally Posted by think first View Post
Contrary to popular belief, there's nothing wrong with going up to a complete stranger and saying Hi. You'd be surprising what that one simple word can do.

There's many people in the same boat as you and would love to have you start a conversation with them -- whether at a bar, a gym, the beach, a grocery store or whatever.

I've lived in nine different states and have never had a problem making friends. I'm the type person that could start up a conversation with a fire hydrant.

Anyway, attitude is everything. Put a smile on your face and get out there and start approaching people with that two letter word.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
That is the best advice he has gotten yet! You have to open yourself up, Manz . . .
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Old 04-25-2010, 01:11 PM
 
80 posts, read 159,357 times
Reputation: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrmanz View Post
its been 3 weeks and i still dont really have people to hang out with.. any tips? this is starting to suck.. almost seems like its impossible to make good friends here unless u grew up/went to school here
San Diego is a small town. It can be hard to make friends depending on what your looking for. Once you start to put yourself out there you will make friends. Most people in SD are smart and open minded. Tell them your new to town and your looking to connect. SD people are proud of their city and think highly of themselves. You'll make friends, just be open.
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Old 04-25-2010, 01:45 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,317 posts, read 22,385,663 times
Reputation: 18436
3 weeks? My God, you need to adjust your expectations. It takes time to get the feel of a new place. Get settled in, find your niche. Be happy and content being with you. You will eventually find some acquaintances, naturally. If you're very, very lucky you may even develop a close friend or two.

Maybe SoCal is different. I moved to NoCal 21 years ago and have no close friends here. Plenty of acquaintances, but no close, deeply satisfying friends I can trust and confide in. Took me a couple years to realize that if I was going to stay in this state, I'd have to get used to putting up with an ever-changing series of shallow, meaningless acquaintances whose associations with me end when the event that defines our commonality does.
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Old 04-25-2010, 02:03 PM
 
76 posts, read 315,056 times
Reputation: 60
Alexus I think you need to look in the mirror and work on YOU. If you are "friendly" you can make true friends anywhere. To say you haven't made a single close friend in 21 years because ALL the 10+ million people in NoCal are a certain way is a little silly don't you think?
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Old 04-25-2010, 06:30 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,317 posts, read 22,385,663 times
Reputation: 18436
Quote:
Originally Posted by limitup View Post
Alexus I think you need to look in the mirror and work on YOU. If you are "friendly" you can make true friends anywhere. To say you haven't made a single close friend in 21 years because ALL the 10+ million people in NoCal are a certain way is a little silly don't you think?
No I don't have to work on me. Not my fault that you can't appreciate 21 years of wisdom, experiences, and observations. Hopefully, the OP considers all perspectives.

So I suppose your definition and criteria on what constitutes a "true friend" is exactly the same as mine right? You don't know a thing about me. I stand by my observation. Plenty of acquaintances, but real friends are hard to come by.

It takes more than simply "being friendly." Get real, man. This is not "The Wizard of Oz."
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Old 04-25-2010, 09:41 PM
 
76 posts, read 315,056 times
Reputation: 60
Quote:
So I suppose your definition and criteria on what constitutes a "true friend" is exactly the same as mine right?
The definition of "true friend" is irrelevant. I was referring to the fact that you can't make a true friend (whatever that means to you) after living in the same place for 21 years. As I said, blaming it on where you live is silly.
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Old 04-25-2010, 11:08 PM
 
9,526 posts, read 30,477,668 times
Reputation: 6435
I've lived here 15 years and have exactly one true friend in San Diego - my wife. Now I have family, in-laws, neices and nephews, so I don't necessarily need too many new friends in my life.

San Diego is transient and people are flaky. I had some good friends in my 20's, some of which I still keep in touch with, but all of them have since moved away.
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