How easy (or hard) is it for new transplants to make friends in SF / East Bay? (Los Angeles: law school, living)

[sav858]

What's funny is the NATIVE New Englander's/Northeasterner's on this thread who claim people there are so much more friendly and outgoing when they clearly have a national reputation for the opposite. You gotta lack some serious perspective and critical thinking skills if you can't realize why your experiences and friendships with people will not be the same as where you grew up. No place will ever be able to replicate "home" no matter where imo. This thread has been repeated in so many other forums on here too, it's kind of funny and every time I read one I can help think of that line "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people".

[LLOJ]

The person who said the people in Philly are more friendly than the people in the Bay Area can't be serious.

[PRND321]

Originally Posted by greenmountainex-pat

That's not true of NYC at all. I grew up there, lived there most of my life, spent my time between NYC and New England, and that is just plain not true. NYers are the nicest people on the planet. They make eye contact, smile, interact all the time. NYers LIKE people. That's the difference, I think. SFans don't like people. They're anti-social by nature. They like their tech toys better than people. They prefer contact-via-FB/Twitter/text to real, eye-to-eye, warm, human, personal contact.

LOL
I've been to NYC once, and decided I will not be there again...... This place just freaks me out....... Not kidding...... Really the least friendly city I've ever been to.....

[yogal]

I hear people are pretty friendly in Livermore and I'm considering moving out there to work at LLNL, but I'm single, female, and in my mid-twenties, and a social climate is important to me. Would you recommend living in Livermore, or elsewhere (where)? How can I meet others nearer in age?

[mayorhaggar]

Originally Posted by HockeyMac18

I wonder why there are so many varied opinions here...it seems like people either think that people are friendly here, or they're not...just on the previous page, you have someone claiming this area has the most friendly people in the world, and then the next person says people here are the most rude they've ever experienced...obviously, they both can't be true (???).

I personally feel like it's something in between. It's highly dependent on luck (did you happen to meet cool people right away?), where you live/spend most of your time, what kind of job you have, AND biases of how people "should" act based on wherever you're coming from (the whole "well, where we come from...we don't do it like that, blah blah").

I think you get...

1) suburban or rural people from small towns who can't believe that people in cities have an urban attitude about strangers

2) people who come to SF with a preconceived notion that everyone here is a laid back hippie and then when they move to SF they realize that it's a bunch of busy office workers with crazy junkies and hobos thrown into the mix

3) internet trolls

4) people who knowingly or unknowingly make things up based on claimed anecdotal evidence, put these kinds of people on the internet and they go wild.

[OrangeSunset]

Originally Posted by yogal

I hear people are pretty friendly in Livermore and I'm considering moving out there to work at LLNL, but I'm single, female, and in my mid-twenties, and a social climate is important to me. Would you recommend living in Livermore, or elsewhere (where)? How can I meet others nearer in age?

Yes, people in Livermore are very friendly. All kids of people come to Livermore to work at the labs making it a very diverse place to be. But Livermore is also very family oriented and I am not sure you will find the social climate you are looking for. Maybe someone else can comment on other areas where you can meet like-minded people. Oakland perhaps? The commute to LLNL to/from Oakland is doable since you'll be going opposite of traffic on 580. You can also take the BART to Pleasanton then Rapid transit to LLNL. Lots of buses make the BART/Labs connection during rush hour. There are also lots of bikers making 12 mile bike ride on the Arroyo bike trail from the BART station. It could be a nice way to make friends. There must be a group of people biking together. They are all over the place during lunch hour too. I would look into it. GL!

[UrbanAdventurer]

People worrying about "the people" in a place always cracks me up a little anyway. You get all sorts and types in a city the size of SF and drawing broad conclusions about all of them is a little silly.

Things like climate, cost of living, public transit, professional opportunities, etc. are far more relevant (to me anyway). Get most of that stuff right and you can sweat the small stuff about how the people are "so this" or "so that" if it amuses you I guess.

[legal_eagle]

Originally Posted by UrbanAdventurer

People worrying about "the people" in a place always cracks me up a little anyway. You get all sorts and types in a city the size of SF and drawing broad conclusions about all of them is a little silly.

Things like climate, cost of living, public transit, professional opportunities, etc. are far more relevant (to me anyway). Get most of that stuff right and you can sweat the small stuff about how the people are "so this" or "so that" if it amuses you I guess.

I think the fact that there are readily identifiable areas where people have common beliefs, and that the culture of a community flows in part from those beliefs, contradicts your first point. And a community's culture is reflected in how people treat and relate to each other. So, for example, if you're in a place where personal fulfillment is paramount, you'd be likely to find a less cohesive feeling of community because that can get in the way of personal fulfillment. In fact, I would reverse your hierarchy--to me, if you feel you're part of a community based on how you relate to your fellow citizens, the other things you mention are simply details.

[mayorhaggar]

Originally Posted by legal_eagle

I think the fact that there are readily identifiable areas where people have common beliefs, and that the culture of a community flows in part from those beliefs, contradicts your first point. And a community's culture is reflected in how people treat and relate to each other. So, for example, if you're in a place where personal fulfillment is paramount, you'd be likely to find a less cohesive feeling of community because that can get in the way of personal fulfillment. In fact, I would reverse your hierarchy--to me, if you feel you're part of a community based on how you relate to your fellow citizens, the other things you mention are simply details.

You seem to be expecting a major American city to be some sort of commune. Also pretty much every post I've seen you post here has been about how horrible you think everyone here is so maybe that's why you feel like you don't fit into any kind of "community."

[legal_eagle]

Originally Posted by mayorhaggar

You seem to be expecting a major American city to be some sort of commune. Also pretty much every post I've seen you post here has been about how horrible you think everyone here is so maybe that's why you feel like you don't fit into any kind of "community."

I mention the aloofness and lack of basic politeness displayed by a disproportionate number of SF denizens, which several others also have mentioned, and now I want to live in a "commune" but am thwarted because I think "everyone" here is "horrible"? What an odd response (which in its snottiness, simply tends to affirm my point of view).