So you're dead broke and you wanna move. Impossible? (San Jose: for rent, mortgage)

[Road Map]

Check out the CaretakerGazettedotorg.

Why not apply for a position as a caretaker for a nice property? San Francisco has alot of wealthy people who have more than one home (estate).

Some gigs provide room/board AND a nice salary in exchange for a warm body to keep watch on the premises.

That way you won't have to worry about paying rent or dealing with roommates...

[kindafedup]

Wisteria! Your post is such an inspiration to me. Just reading you say that you made it with no job and little pocket money and everything worked out keeps my hope alive. I was beginning to lose hope.

I have a VERY strong pull to SF. I've always known I was supposed to be in California but I never knew where. When I was young I thought Hollywood or Beverly Hills, then L.A. as a teen. I'd never even considered Northern California. But when I was researching it, it just all seemed right, now I'm dead set on making that my new residence!

You're right I'm young and single with no kids, no ties, no baggage, There is nothing holding me here. I've got nothing to lose. I had forgotten that for a moment.

Plus I've got energy and motivation in excess! lol.

But on the other hand Tallysmom, you make good points. I've gone and sold alot of things that I know that can be replaced when I move and am selling my broken car for parts. I really could do without the extra phone (funny how I cling to backups). It seems the smartest thing to do is to get a little more money for the move, but I was hoping it wouldn't be months. My initial travel date was Late August, then September, then October just to come and check it out first dip my toe in the water. But looks like it will be next year before even that happens. So it's disappointing to think I might not move until next year.

Plus I have this annoying reminder echoing in my subconscious that I'm not getting any younger. lol.


Also how do you go about approaching someone to consider being your roommate? Just 'hey you wanna be roomies?' seems intrusive. I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they had to say yes. Is there a selection process? Any Pointers?

[kindafedup]

Originally Posted by Road Map

Check out the CaretakerGazettedotorg.

Why not apply for a position as a caretaker for a nice property? San Francisco has alot of wealthy people who have more than one home (estate).

Some gigs provide room/board AND a nice salary in exchange for a warm body to keep watch on the premises.

That way you won't have to worry about paying rent or dealing with roommates...

OMG I am ON it. thanks

[veganwriter]

words of wisdom: "Wherever you go, you take yourself with you."

you can take a chance ... but if you do ... follow your FIRST DrEAMS! Don't take an "easier softer way out."

If you're ladies ... DO NOT let men use you ... and DON'T think you'll get away clean if you use them via sex. (It leaves a mark, dear ... deep ... scars.)

Better to get some skills ... even a non-traditional trade you can fall back on ... like ... something out of Job Core...

Do your homework. It's dangerous out here. People get lost easy these days.

Good luck ... but yes ... plan to move. Don't waste your time in places that don't feed your soul. Just ... do it wisely if you can.

[kindafedup]

See thats what always scares me. It is dangerous out there (anywhere but home) in so many ways. How can you know who to trust? Gut and instinct can only get you so far. Apart from the obvious, I can think of more than one way to get lost and misled. a person has to be very careful.

thank you for your words of wisdom.

[ComfortablyNumb]

Yeah, as sad as it is, gut and instinct have landed many a girl on the bottom of a lake. You can never be too careful.

[Wisteria]

Comfortably Numb and KindaFedUp, I don't know which of you is male or female, nor your precise ages, however, just keep in mind that millions of people in this country move every year. A lot of what happens will be attitude. I don't mean to be contrite, but there is "danger" everywhere, and there are "opportunities" everywhere.

SF was not the only city I went to with very little -- just my little car packed with some clothes, my stereo, a few books, some dishes/silverware, and a few other things. I am not materialistic, so it was never a big deal to me to have "things." Plus, every single city I moved to (so far, Phoenix, AZ; Boulder, CO; San Francisco; Seattle; Tempe, AZ; and now Santa Cruz, CA), I acquired all my stuff in that city. There are so many great deals out there in thrift stores, yard sales, etc. People give me things, too. I never worried about that kind of stuff. And cable, cell phones, etc., all seem like they are necessities, but they're not. They can be done without and you can still survive and then just get them later.

As a female, I've always been vigilant, but I've also been open. There are just people you can tell you click with and who are "okay." I met many of my new friends through other people, taking classes, through neighbors, at my jobs, etc. I usually started work at a temp agency in many cities. In some, I lucked out with a job right away. I also eventually took tests for government jobs and got better pay that way.

If every person lurking around the corner were an axe murderer, we'd all be dead. I took logical precautions like not walking alone in the dark, making sure I walked against the traffic so cars couldn't just pull up along side me and someone jump out and snatch me. I met people whom I just knew were okay because of what other people told me, or the jobs they were doing, or what they were involved in.

And there are lots of other people looking for roommates. Depending on your age and interests, you could browse the university bulletin boards, or put an ad in yourself. You may even look for a boarding house in the beginning. Look at bulletin boards in "safe and cool" places like health food stores, or book stores or places like that. You'd be surprised how many people are looking for roommates out west. Check out the ads in the "Good Times" magazines, and browse or put an ad on Craig's List. There are many places to look.

I also agree that a woman shouldn't try to seduce or otherwise use her charms on a man to get something - get it on your own. In every town I've lived in, I've maintained life-long friends.

Just working will give you immediate access to other people who know other people, who know other people. Hit some gallery openings, if you're into art; hit some anime conventions, if you're into manga; go to places with music and meet people there. Strike up conversations with people selling crafts or other things in fairs. You'd be amazed at all the places you can meet people.

And don't keep pushing up those deadlines to move -- usually that's a fear factor that's involved, and then life happens, and other things come up and suddenly your dream is just a faint memory.

Keep in mind that many people do this. Most people I know have lived in many places and have enjoyed those various experiences. Many of us have traveled what we call the "circuit," of "cool" or "nice" places -- often the more liberal, open, arts and musical places, with lots of culture, great food, and all kinds of things going on.

My daughter is almost 18 and is looking forward to going to college next year and then living in another country (which she's already done for 6 months last year as an exchange student). I've encouraged her to follow her passion. Of course, as a mother, I've also taught her many ways to deal with situations, how to assess people, how to keep herself as "safe" as possible, but she also has to be her own person, and I realize that, although I'd rather have her here with me. But I did it, too, and I had many great adventures, met wonderful people, had my share of tears and sadness, but all-in-all, I know that I have lived a life much fuller than many people I know, and especially my family members.

Is your glass half empty....or half full???

Good luck!

[WannaBNorCal]

I'm right where you're at, minus the job I don't have, dues to health issues.
Have you tried visiting for a week? Maybe longer if possible.
That may give you an idea of what you do want, and what you don't want.
Thare are dangers and opportunities everywhere, I totally agree with Wisteria - well said.
L.A., to me is not the place to live what-so-ever.
Similar to veganwriter, "Wherever you go, there you are".
If it helps, try craig's list:
craigslist: san francisco bay area classifieds for jobs, apartments, personals, for sale, services, community, and events

I'm finding it very helpful.
Tallysmom's post was fantastic, some great wisdom!
"Don't sell off the stuff that has meaning, then again -- don't give meaning to all your stuff."--

Looking forward to reading how you're coming along.

[ComfortablyNumb]

Just wondering KindaFedUp. How old are you? I'm only 22 so I figure I still have some time.

[kindafedup]

Comfortablynumb, I'm 27, Female. You have plenty of time. Funny I've never cared about the age factor until now. Thats because part of my dream is to return to college after settling in. I don't want to be too far in my 30s having to start all over entry level, so the sooner the better.

Wisteria you are a very wise woman and you give good tips. You're right people do this all the time. I'm not the first person to try it out. It fits right with my usual mantra "I know that it can be done".

My glass has always been half-full but sometimes I'm pumped and roaring to go, then other times I doubt myself and start to let the fear of the unknown sink in.

Hi WannaBNorCal that's what I'm trying to do now, get enough to come visit for 2 weeks so that I can use that time to look for a job, network and make face to face contacts.

I've been using alot of craigslist but not getting any responses from the jobs. I think it's because I'm out of state and they have so many people instate vying for the job so it's a bit discouraging. But I'm not giving up on it, nothing in life worth having comes easy.

When I finally go, I'm calling it a vacation because how can it not be? lol but the main priority is finding a job. The way I see it, after I get one, all I will need is a one way ticket and 2-3 weeks accommodation.

I'm selling alot of things that I won't need or can replace in SF. At worse, I'll shorten it down to 1 week if I don't get enough. My last resort will be taking a temporary job here to rebuild my savings, but I know how I lose sight of my goals when I get distracted by new responsibilities. So that will be the final resort.

I will definitely be posting my progress here. These CityDataforums are the best source of information I have found to date. It's amazing how many people are so helpful and willing to assist. So I'll have many more questions and once settled, may be able to guide someone else toward their dream as well.