Just moved to the U.S.- what do the 7th graders like to do? (fit in, credit)

[bzmomofthree]

Hi. My family just moved to California this summer from Asia.
I have three kids- 7th and 5th grade boys and a girl in kindergarten.
We've been moving around in Asia every 3-5 years so my kids didn't really have a hard time adjusting to a new school(English speaking/international schools). They always seemed to make new friends quickly. However, it was especially difficult during this move, because it was the first time my kids were attending a public school in the U.S. and on top of that, the kids had to transfer school AGAIN after one month of school at their new school. It was because of the strict "attendance area" policy and they were initially assigned to a school near our temporary housing (5 miles from our current home) and had to change school when we moved into our current home.

Anyway, my husband and I feel so bad because the kids are now having a hard time making new friends again. It seems to be the hardest on my oldest because in middle school, you keep changing classes and I can't really set up a playdate for him at that age and he's not sure what other kids do here on weekends. Before, my son was participating in sports activities every Sat, but here, we missed out on the registration deadline and he can't even join now!
So my husband and I thought we would organize some kind of a party/activity for him to invite some kids from school and hang out together. So what do 7th grade kids like to do here? I saw some paintball facilities nearby- is that appropriate for middle schoolers? Or is laser-tag game better? Is bowling too tacky for them nowadays??
I heard about a game truck. What is that like? We want to invite some girls too. Will girls like that also?
Also, we were thinking of having it on Halloween. Would they want to go trick or treating more and not come to the party? Do 7th graders go trick or treating??

PLEASE HELP!! Any idea will be helpful. FYI, we live in East Bay.

[Mattie]

Sign-ups for winter sports should be happening in the very near future, so keep that in mind.

Do you think your son would be comfortable inviting kids to a party? Honestly, all of the ideas you listed sound right up the alley of middle schoolers, so as activities, they would likely be successful, IF your son can bring himself to invite kids he hasn't yet formed friendships with. Haunted houses are also popular this time of year. Many 7th graders do still trick or treat, so having anything on that day will be tough.

When you said you and your husband want to organize this, I hope you meant making reservations and paying the fees. I think you would quite possibly cause your son more problems if you tried to set up the guest list for him.

[Hopes]

Even though they moved well in the past, it will only get harder now that they are teenagers. Teenagers don't move well.

I wouldn't hold a party for him to invite strangers. He'll feel awkward inviting them.

It's best to get him involved in sports and extra curricular activities via school. It might be too late to join a Fall team, but it's not too late to sign up for other sports that start later in the year. There are also non-sports related activities at the school. You can find a youth group at a local church. Local community colleges often have non-credit courses for teens of many interests. Other activities that don't have a specific sign up date would be karate classes, etc.

It's most important to get him involved in interests where he can meet other children who have similar interests. It will all fall into place from there. He'll make some friends and they'll start making arrangements to do other things, like going to the movies, etc.

Being his social coordinator and holding parties won't go over well here unless he is the type of kid who is comfortable inviting strangers. Even then, it could go well or it could backfire big time. Don't take the risk until he has made enough acquaintances that it's HIS IDEA to have a party, not yours.

[bzmomofthree]

Originally Posted by Mattie

Sign-ups for winter sports should be happening in the very near future, so keep that in mind.

Do you think your son would be comfortable inviting kids to a party? Honestly, all of the ideas you listed sound right up the alley of middle schoolers, so as activities, they would likely be successful, IF your son can bring himself to invite kids he hasn't yet formed friendships with. Haunted houses are also popular this time of year. Many 7th graders do still trick or treat, so having anything on that day will be tough.

When you said you and your husband want to organize this, I hope you meant making reservations and paying the fees. I think you would quite possibly cause your son more problems if you tried to set up the guest list for him.

Right about the winter sports. He is waiting for the baseball season to start.
Thanks for the tip on trick or treat. I guess my son can go out to trick or treat as well.
And of course, my husband and I are only making reservations for him and stuff. My son will invite whoever he wants to invite.
We just weren't sure what the 7th graders like to do these days...Anyway, thanks for the tip!

[bzmomofthree]

Originally Posted by Hopes

Even though they moved well in the past, it will only get harder now that they are teenagers. Teenagers don't move well.

I wouldn't hold a party for him to invite strangers. He'll feel awkward inviting them.

It's best to get him involved in sports and extra curricular activities via school. It might be too late to join a Fall team, but it's not too late to sign up for other sports that start later in the year. There are also non-sports related activities at the school. You can find a youth group at a local church. Local community colleges often have non-credit courses for teens of many interests. Other activities that don't have a specific sign up date would be karate classes, etc.

It's most important to get him involved in interests where he can meet other children who have similar interests. It will all fall into place from there. He'll make some friends and they'll start making arrangements to do other things, like going to the movies, etc.

Being his social coordinator and holding parties won't go over well here unless he is the type of kid who is comfortable inviting strangers. Even then, it could go well or it could backfire big time. Don't take the risk until he has made enough acquaintances that it's HIS IDEA to have a party, not yours.

I guess you are right about teenagers not moving well. Good thing that we are planning on settling down here ^^
The frustrating thing here is that even the school after school club activities are full! At least for the ones he is interested in. But I get what you are saying about meeting kids with similar interests.
I am sure he will do fine. My husband and I are just feeling so guilty about the whole thing and want to move things along for him by providing him with an occassion to invite his "classmates-but-not-yet-close-friends" to hang out together.
Thanks for you advice. Will talk to him more and wait until he is comfortable.

[no kudzu]

Personally I would not feel comfortable sending my 7th grader to a party where she did not know the kid well and I did not even know the parents.
I was an Army brat and let me tell you it was miserable after grade school. Glad to hear you will be settling down. Your kids should fit in sooner than later especially if they go out for sports and other extra curricular activities. Start of slow and steady with any invites. if a boy makes a friend at school or in sports try inviting that one kid out to eat after the game, or back to your house for food. Inviting a bunch of kids he doesn't really know could backfire in your face with nobody showing up.

[bzmomofthree]

Originally Posted by no kudzu

Personally I would not feel comfortable sending my 7th grader to a party where she did not know the kid well and I did not even know the parents.
I was an Army brat and let me tell you it was miserable after grade school. Glad to hear you will be settling down. Your kids should fit in sooner than later especially if they go out for sports and other extra curricular activities. Start of slow and steady with any invites. if a boy makes a friend at school or in sports try inviting that one kid out to eat after the game, or back to your house for food. Inviting a bunch of kids he doesn't really know could backfire in your face with nobody showing up.

It breaks my heart to hear that "it was miserable after grade school" from someone with a similar experience
But I hope it got better for you as I hope it will be for my son.
I will definitely make sure he gets into sports activities. I talked to him about after school activities and he is interested in this club that is still accepting students- so YEAH!!
Thank you for you advice. I think we will be scratching the party idea.

[Jaded]

OP I'm moving this to the California "Bay Area" forum as parents who live there might be able to offer you specific ideas that are actually in the area where you live. Good luck!

[twins4lynn]

Yes, middle school age kids like paint ball and laser tag!! Also check with either your school or recreation department (whichever handles your middle school sports program), in our school district registration for winter sports basketball is taking place now (until 10/27). I would also check with the school to see what clubs they have that he might be interested in joining. Also, do you have a Leo's club in your area? Lots of kids from our middle and high school (on the peninsula) are members.

[justinbro2002]

It might backfire if your son tries to invite kids he just met to a party it comes across as desperate just let him make friends organically. Sports or other after school clubs might help him meet people with similar interests.