How do you know (San Francisco, Orange: new home, job market, pros and cons)

[WannaBNorCal]

This moving to the Bay area is pondering me. I booked a flight up after Thanksgiving to look at places to live. How do you know if it's the right thing to do? What factors do I really need to consider? I may be missing something(s). This may sound a little sad, but I have no one saying to me, "Come back up here, (I spent a year up there)-or "it would be great to have you close by, yada yad yada". Does that mean that I have really no one who wants me up there? Does that mean I'm depending on others' approval/liking of me? Also, how do you leave the only place you "really know? I was born and raised in Orange County, been there, done it - and on these boards, I see that a lot of people want to know about the cost of homes, the job market, the culture, what not, but on an emotional level - how does one truly decide to move, do I question my motives?
This may seem corny, but I wanted to post about it, because I really need others' points of view/input/opinions, etc.

Thanks so much in advance

[Tallysmom]

Originally Posted by WannaBNorCal

This moving to the Bay area is pondering me. I booked a flight up after Thanksgiving to look at places to live. How do you know if it's the right thing to do? What factors do I really need to consider? I may be missing something(s). This may sound a little sad, but I have no one saying to me, "Come back up here, (I spent a year up there)-or "it would be great to have you close by, yada yad yada". Does that mean that I have really no one who wants me up there? Does that mean I'm depending on others' approval/liking of me? Also, how do you leave the only place you "really know? I was born and raised in Orange County, been there, done it - and on these boards, I see that a lot of people want to know about the cost of homes, the job market, the culture, what not, but on an emotional level - how does one truly decide to move, do I question my motives?
This may seem corny, but I wanted to post about it, because I really need others' points of view/input/opinions, etc.

Thanks so much in advance

My husband always wanted to live here, because when he was nine he visited San Francisco with his parents and he thought the touristy trap Chinatown junk shops were way too fun!

I moved here because I love my husband.

We moved from PA during the death and burial of the steel mills (1984) -- there were no jobs, no prospects and no hope. However, there were 50 cent drafts at the Silver...


It's also very possible to over think and over analyze things. Look -- my husband was laid off from a job he was burnt out on...and worked as a janitor for a friend for a while to regain some mental stability. After a year of doing this, and looking for work in his field and not finding it, he looked at me and said I want to start my own janitorial company.

So we did. Nine years later, we're making more money than ever, we work part time and we enjoy ourselves.

Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. What's the worst thing that could happen? You go back to Orange County a little older and a little wiser?

And as for people begging you to come back -- sometimes people aren't understanding, sometimes they are too busy to give you what you want. It's okay to stand on your own. When we moved out here, my uncle and aunt also lived out here, and my mother said I couldn't depend on them.

Well --she was right -- I called them once to find out who they took their TVs to when they needed worked on, and they had no idea. They just bought new ones. They called me a few times for advice on where to go for home improvement stuff!

[Milliano]

You'll be wherever you go. There's this thing about human psychology - we're bad at thinking over choices when there are a lot of choices, when the situation isn't vital. We are naturally biased and heavily influenced by considering opportunity costs. How this relates to choosing a location is... these days, for some people, they basically can choose from and endless number of choices on where to live. And it's natural but biased thinking to think like "if only I didn't move *here*, and moved *there* instead, things would be better" or "I can't decide, there are too many choices". These scientists I've read talk about these things tend to suggest it's best if we just pick a "good enough" choice, and stick with it without focusing on the option to change our minds or back out later on. And in the short term, people tend to regret the things they *did* do, but in the long term people tend to regret what they *didn't* do.

So I dunno, but if I was trying to give my opinion, I'd say something along the lines of just ... if you think you want to try it, just go for it. It's probably not going to make you significantly more happy or less happy, and if it doesn't work out then you can just move back home.... and in the long run, even if you disliked it, you might still be happy that you tried it.

This guy who wrote a book called Stumbling On Happiness... I watched this presentation/lecture he gave on a video clip online... he was talking about all these things that we think will make us happy, but really tend to have very little if any actual effect on happiness/well being/satisfaction with life. He had an example list of maybe a dozen things, and one of them was "moving to California". Hehe

[Tallysmom]

Originally Posted by Milliano

You'll be wherever you go. There's this thing about human psychology - we're bad at thinking over choices when there are a lot of choices, when the situation isn't vital. We are naturally biased and heavily influenced by considering opportunity costs. How this relates to choosing a location is... these days, for some people, they basically can choose from and endless number of choices on where to live. And it's natural but biased thinking to think like "if only I didn't move *here*, and moved *there* instead, things would be better" or "I can't decide, there are too many choices". These scientists I've read talk about these things tend to suggest it's best if we just pick a "good enough" choice, and stick with it without focusing on the option to change our minds or back out later on. And in the short term, people tend to regret the things they *did* do, but in the long term people tend to regret what they *didn't* do.

So I dunno, but if I was trying to give my opinion, I'd say something along the lines of just ... if you think you want to try it, just go for it. It's probably not going to make you significantly more happy or less happy, and if it doesn't work out then you can just move back home.... and in the long run, even if you disliked it, you might still be happy that you tried it.

This guy who wrote a book called Stumbling On Happiness... I watched this presentation/lecture he gave on a video clip online... he was talking about all these things that we think will make us happy, but really tend to have very little if any actual effect on happiness/well being/satisfaction with life. He had an example list of maybe a dozen things, and one of them was "moving to California". Hehe

That's very true -- years ago, I was told by an investment advisor to find an investing strategy and stick with it. Best advice in the world. Turns out no matter what you pick to do, if you don't change it all the time you're ahead of the game. If you keep changing your strategy, any small gains you get are eaten by fees and loads.

[mysticaltyger]

Hi Jean,

Nice to see you here. This is Tyger from the Frugal living forum

[Tallysmom]

Originally Posted by mysticaltyger

Hi Jean,

Nice to see you here. This is Tyger from the Frugal living forum

Hi! Now we can start beating up every one to make them save and invest!

[Macrina]

Originally Posted by WannaBNorCal

This moving to the Bay area is pondering me. I booked a flight up after Thanksgiving to look at places to live. How do you know if it's the right thing to do? What factors do I really need to consider? I may be missing something(s). This may sound a little sad, but I have no one saying to me, "Come back up here, (I spent a year up there)-or "it would be great to have you close by, yada yad yada". Does that mean that I have really no one who wants me up there? Does that mean I'm depending on others' approval/liking of me? Also, how do you leave the only place you "really know? I was born and raised in Orange County, been there, done it - and on these boards, I see that a lot of people want to know about the cost of homes, the job market, the culture, what not, but on an emotional level - how does one truly decide to move, do I question my motives?
This may seem corny, but I wanted to post about it, because I really need others' points of view/input/opinions, etc.

Thanks so much in advance

Where are going to visit on your post/Thanksgiving trip and/or where are you thinking of moving? Have you done a pro/con list?

Ponder this ~ from the emotional standpoint, are you 'running to' or 'running away.' Not that you'd need to give any answers here

Moving is expensive, so it needs to be worth the expenditure. Although it's possible that money isn't an issue for you.

Your OP sounds a bit equivocal, do you want to say more about how you feel. I guess I'll say I'd be more excited about the possibilites for you, if *you* sounded a little more enthused. But perhaps that will come after your trip.

Come back here to tell us!


I just found your other thread and read your OP there: Now that I know you were in Sonoma County, I'll say I lived there for 20 years & loved it.
It's a great environment, weather is great, and the people are very friendly and open. When I moved there it was without knowing Anyone just
a few contacts I'd spoken to on the phone. A really good friend lived east on the other side of Mount Saint Helena, but that was 45 min. away from my new home.

I'm biased, but I can't figure out why anyone would Not want to live in Sonoma County...Had I a choice, I'd be there now...

[MaggieZ]

yeah, make a list of pros and cons and really be honest with yourself...You'll know where you feel at home. When I go to San Francisco I feel like I'm going home, I never get that anywhere else in the world. That's why I want to move back. Good luck.