Why didn't I adjust to San Francisco? (Oakland, Bradbury: home, salary)

[andyadhi01]

Originally Posted by roadwarrior101

-Weather. At first, having cool/mild weather is a nice change if you come from a very hot climate. However, you do begin to miss the summers, where you can lie out in shorts and such. That's one of the reasons I left.

Glad that you managed to escape! The weather is the most fatal flaw in SF.. It's fun for few weeks, then annoying, then depressing and you realize that the only way out is moving elsewhere. And this effects everyone.. I have never seen another city in US where people look more unhappy or have unfriendly/hostile attitude like SF. The brief heatwaves like the one now makes me even more depressed because you realize that outside of few west coast city the entire US enjoy shorts t-shirt weather at least 5-6 months a year.

[modernist1]

'I didn't adjust to San Francisco ...'

[ttocs99]

This is interestesting. Everyone is different and some can handle change, some can't. I had no problem transitioning from NY to SF. In fact, I wound up preferring SF after living there for about a month. Also, I find it hard to not make friends in SF. Like NY, there are so many people living in SF, NOT from SF, lots of transplants from other states/countries, that I made lots of friends, even with the SF natives too. I don't know, I guess coming from NYC, I felt people in SF were much friendlier and outgoing. Now you want to go to a city where people are truly rude, try living in Philly for a while, sheesh.

[LagunaMom]

Despite all the comings-and-goings on the CD Forum, sometimes people simply can't move. There may be physical reasons (ill health) or strong family or career ties or money.

Antonia, there is nothing wrong with you for not being able to adjust to SF. In many ways, it reminds me of Chicago, which I left in '73. Many areas are wall-to-wall people and traffic (except for the ocean and mountains). In the city, people live close together. That means if you are one of those (like me) who simply needs space around you, living in SF--as much as I think the city's terrific--puts it in the category for you of, "a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there."

Second, there's the weather. I'm another one who can't stand a constant diet of overcast skies. It's also an enormously expensive town. My brother, who had a start-up, rented a room in SF during the week but went home to Stockton on the weekends.

Before I could move out West, my hubby and I would take short trips out of town for a few hours on the weekends. Perhaps you could manage that. It'll keep your sanity.

Quit trying to force the proverbial square peg into a round hole. As nice a city as it is, SF isn't your cup of tea, and that's OK. Do what you can to get out-of-town when you can (go "out-of-town" on Earthcam when you can't), and don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. No city is as terrific as the PR says it is.

[HockeyMac18]

Originally Posted by andyadhi01

Glad that you managed to escape! The weather is the most fatal flaw in SF.. It's fun for few weeks, then annoying, then depressing and you realize that the only way out is moving elsewhere. And this effects everyone.. I have never seen another city in US where people look more unhappy or have unfriendly/hostile attitude like SF. The brief heatwaves like the one now makes me even more depressed because you realize that outside of few west coast city the entire US enjoy shorts t-shirt weather at least 5-6 months a year.

Complete and utter malarkey. At best, the months where t-shirts and shortsleeve shirts in the major cities of the East Coast (NYC, Boston) or Chicago is a regular thing is late May to early September. Consistent weather where one would feel comfortable wearing shorts and a t-shirt (Above 75 degrees) for 6 months is a complete fabrication. A more realistic estimate is 3 months (basically June-August).

I think your time in TX skewed your outlook on like (particularly with weather).

[andyadhi01]

Originally Posted by HockeyMac18

Complete and utter malarkey. At best, the months where t-shirts and shortsleeve shirts in the major cities of the East Coast (NYC, Boston) or Chicago is a regular thing is late May to early September. Consistent weather where one would feel comfortable wearing shorts and a t-shirt (Above 75 degrees) for 6 months is a complete fabrication. A more realistic estimate is 3 months (basically June-August).

I think your time in TX skewed your outlook on like (particularly with weather).

The details are irrelevant because 3 months is still a lot longer than 15 days/year!!! And in TX and rest of the south the shorts and t-shirts weather is ~7-8 months/year.

[bigdumbgod]

Originally Posted by andyadhi01

The details are irrelevant.

Ok. Then why mention them?

[veganwriter]

I'm a Bay Area Native... and I MOVED.

I miss the old Bay Area ... but not what it's become. It's no longer the home I grew up in.. but that's okay because life for people like me is about change. Moving around the country (... the world...) has pushed on me in ways I never anticipated.

First Response: PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE BRAINWASHED NIT-WITS WHO KEEP INSINUATING THAT YOU SHOULD GO TO A PSYCH AND TAKE SOME OF THOSE AWFUL PILLS (.. that don't work...) AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.

... such numbed-out ... um... ah ... "people" ... are a big part of the problem. Spiritually zoned-out and so emotionally flat that they need "more-more-more" sex and "things" and Narcissistic supply just to give them a sense of being alive. It began to feel like the Bay Area was being over-run by the WRONG type of people... so many that they pushed out the more open, friendlier, accepting Native Californians that made the place what it was.

Second: Two quotes spring to mind...

1. "An unlived life is not worth living"
2. "Everything you want is on the other side of fear."

San Francisco and the much of the Bay Area (not all) has become a business.
Real Estate speculators and Marin County absentee landlords ... Universities as businesses (instead of really caring for the next generation), stores and shops that open solely for the business owners and not for the neighborhood inclusiveness... but such is Capitalism... and most people will learn something from the experience.

Solution! Don't live an "un-lived" life.
This is what your post really speaks to. You sound like you're not doing the things that really jazz you.
Julia Cameron's book, "The Artist Way" is great for helping people become aware of .. and moving through their creative blocks.

Ya gotta do what NURTURES you. It's not the place.

(By the way... I LOVE THE BAY AREA WEATHER !!!) ... Cool enough to wear a classy jacket but no snow!

If you're doing the right things.. the things that you really want to do, then the right people will appear.
FRIENDS.

Sometimes we have to help others to feel rewarded ... but NOT in a Co-Dependent way.
If a person is bored... chances are... yup... they're boring. So what do you read? Do you spend a lot of time watching TV instead of getting off the couch and going hiking?

Frisco Vs. San Francisco
I grew up during a time when S.F. was still, "Frisco." Italian farmers bringing their produce to market. Chinatown bristling with activity in the early morning. Black and working class Longshoremen coming and going from the wharfs. Navy, Army, Marine, and Airmen walking up and down Market Street in uniform visiting the penny arcades and movie theaters before being shipped out.... it was a different time...

Everyone lived in each other's back yards and "Pride of Youth" and economic racism weren't such major themes. Instead of today's culture wars... it was an interest in each other's cultures. To have someone crash your party could be a honor.. because no one would imaging carrying a gun to a party, and smiles were the ticket in. Hey... even the Hippies left...

I drove cab for two years back in the 80s.
Let's face it... San Francisco will always be "The Barbary Coast."
There's always been a seedy, soft, lascivious underbelly to San Francisco. Many of the 49ers were gay. Sailors actually shanghied men who woke up aboard ships in the middle of the ocean ...

At one time, the Commandant of the Presidio was a known Satan Worshiper.
There was a LOT of darkness connected to the upper brass of the Presidio over the years. <-See link)

I've been called to bars to pick up fares and seen men standing quietly in groups... dark blue and black walls with various devil masks with bulging eyes and long tongues hanging from walls. It's estimated that at least one person a night "disappears" from the streets of San Francisco ... including young runaways. And all the stuff people took advantage of on the weekends that left them jagged pieces of glass on Monday mornings. Hey.... "it's the City"...

Darkness & Light
The Pacific Rim ends at the California coastline.
San Francisco and the Bay Area is ALSO a place where you can find pratictioners of every spiritual path on the planet. Enlightenment and demonic insanity uses the same energy located in the 1st and 2nd Chakras. We can either decide to dissipate it into the gutter (symbolized by the devil's tail pointing downward) or discipline it with Yoga and Meditation and prayer and lift our consciousness upwards.

HINT: "When the part of the brain associated with awakening opens in an un-disciplined body-mind, insanity can occur." ~ Gophi Krishna

Of the symbolic ... "Seven Deadly Sins" ... it's said that Sloth is the worst.
If a person cannot break through sloth... they won't have the energy to break through the other six.
Move a muscle.
Face your fears.. ALL your fears.
Live your life.

[clongirl]

Originally Posted by bigdumbgod

Ok. Then why mention them?

...And why is he still living here rather than in Texas (or anywhere else for that matter) after complaining and whining for like 7 years now about San Francisco? I couldn't imagine living such a life of misery for so long-- especially when he's not married, has no family or even kids to tie him down to this place.

[andyadhi01]

Originally Posted by clongirl

...And why is he still living here rather than in Texas (or anywhere else for that matter) after complaining and whining for like 7 years now about San Francisco? I couldn't imagine living such a life of misery for so long-- especially when he's not married, has no family or even kids to tie him down to this place.

Because some of us are employed in fields where it is difficult to find equivalent jobs in most parts of the country and earn a high enough salary where certain lifestyle compromises (such as living in a dump called bay area) are necessary... This might be a hard concept to grasp for stay at home types living out in the boonies