Leaving San Francisco Bay area (San Diego, Fremont: rent, mortgage, house)

[bananaskin]

Hi all.
Any comments from people who have lived or currently live in SF Bay area please?

I am single, middle aged, heterosexual woman, no kids, healthy, fit.

I have lived here from 2010 to present.
I am currently leaving for 4 months to San Diego for a temporary job.
I may stay away because it feels so difficult to live in the SF area.

I almost feel like I am fleeing SF because...

1. rent is ridiculously high and increasing yearly, good housing difficult to find as more and more people are trying to get the same housing (I am paying 2k/month for a rundown 1-bedroom on the Peninsula, and this is deemed a 'deal')
2. because of housing and other living costs here (transportation, parking) I can not afford to buy a house here ever, difficult to build any savings here
3. the weather is unpredictable and a little dreary for someone whose emotions are affected by fog and cold,
4. aggressive drivers who honk at you the nanosecond the light turns green and you have not stepped on the gas,
5. the dating scene here appears to be lively, however, if you take part in it a woman will likely find it difficult here......that the men here do not take part in long term evolving relationships but are most often interested in short term fun filled encounters and seem to have other interests that preclude relationships such as working round the clock or are here only for 1-2 years for work or seem to have such short attention spans regarding all the dating options etc...; so many other men are socially unskilled and perhaps this is associated with the techie category? (I have gone to singles groups, meetups, had on average 1 date per month in the 5 years I have been here, and still have managed to stay unattached because of the above issues)

Again, input from people living here or have lived here is desired.

[04kL4nD]

Sounds like you've made up your mind and made the right choice for yourself. High five?

[bmw335xi]

If you are unhappy for whatever reason, there doesnt even have to be a reason then move locations. It's so easy to move these days, so no there is no point in forcing yourself to think of reasons why you should stay if you aren't tied down. You've lived here since 2010, which is more than enough time to know whether SF meets your wants.

[Chekhov]

Time to move on. This is not a town to find a mate. It will break your heart, and it is now too expensive anyway to live here. I have lived here since 1976, and I know. Move on.

[clongirl]

You don't need anyone's permission to leave. Not sure why you need to explain why or are you just here to complain?

[ccm123]

One of my female colleagues who relocated from Orange County (SoCal) spent 2 years here, and came to the exact conclusion. Everything was too expensive, weather was too cold and the dating scene was terrible for her. She found a position back in Irvine, CA and is happier. Everyone has the places that they like and it sounds like you have your heart set out to leave.

[gray horse]

I'm a single gal who left 10 years ago after living there all my life. Couldn't take the COL, moved to Oregon where the quality of living is a lot better for your dollar. Wouldn't work for you since you like nicer weather.

I have family in the Bay Area, and my mother is still laying the guilt trip on me to move back...hah, that would involve a $200,000 - $300,000 mortgage just to get a little house. It's not happening.

San Diego sounds like a great place for you... there really isn't anything keeping you in the Bay Area like family.

Best of luck!

[Ruth4Truth]

It sounds like the Peninsula isn't a good fit for you. And even though rents are higher there than elsewhere, rents aren't stable anywhere in the Bay Area right now. The East Bay is sunnier than the Peninsula, though. A 1-br in Fremont is much cheaper, and much sunnier.

There are dating websites for those who are marriage or LTR-minded, just saying.

Try out San Diego. If you like it, move. Where are you from, btw?

[ColinC02]

I would honestly just move. I'm planning on doing the same thing at the end of the year. Lots of people love the Bay Area and it's easy to respect that, but it's not for everyone. There's no point in paying one of the highest costs of living in the country if you don't absolutely love it. I'm moving for the same reasons you've mentioned regarding weather and cost of living. I'm not from SoCal, but I lived there for 3 years before moving up to the Bay Area and I really liked it a lot more. The weather was a big factor of that, and the fact that I didn't have to become a workaholic to keep up with the cost of living. It was much more laid back and the people weren't nearly as stressed all of the time. Good luck with your decision!

[mini_cute]

Originally Posted by bananaskin

Hi all.
Any comments from people who have lived or currently live in SF Bay area please?

I am single, middle aged, heterosexual woman, no kids, healthy, fit.

I have lived here from 2010 to present.
I am currently leaving for 4 months to San Diego for a temporary job.
I may stay away because it feels so difficult to live in the SF area.

I almost feel like I am fleeing SF because...

1. rent is ridiculously high and increasing yearly, good housing difficult to find as more and more people are trying to get the same housing (I am paying 2k/month for a rundown 1-bedroom on the Peninsula, and this is deemed a 'deal')
2. because of housing and other living costs here (transportation, parking) I can not afford to buy a house here ever, difficult to build any savings here
3. the weather is unpredictable and a little dreary for someone whose emotions are affected by fog and cold,
4. aggressive drivers who honk at you the nanosecond the light turns green and you have not stepped on the gas,
5. the dating scene here appears to be lively, however, if you take part in it a woman will likely find it difficult here......that the men here do not take part in long term evolving relationships but are most often interested in short term fun filled encounters and seem to have other interests that preclude relationships such as working round the clock or are here only for 1-2 years for work or seem to have such short attention spans regarding all the dating options etc...; so many other men are socially unskilled and perhaps this is associated with the techie category? (I have gone to singles groups, meetups, had on average 1 date per month in the 5 years I have been here, and still have managed to stay unattached because of the above issues)

Again, input from people living here or have lived here is desired.

You say you are thinking of fleeing the SF Bay Area, but when you describe the fog and cold it sounds to me like you have only lived in SF (many parts of the Bay Area do not have fog), which then means you are fleeing just SF city. Have you tried living in other places in the Bay Area with lower cost of living and more sunny?

I have lived in San Diego, and you may very well love it. Personally, it wasn't my cup of tea and not very inspiring for me. But I can imagine there are people who like it. It is less expensive to live there, but still expensive nationally. I also think you may have a very easy time meeting men there. It is male dominated like SF, but they don't consist of the techie nerd never-had-a-date types. So perhaps they would be more your type.