appropriate response to whites asking me in chinese if i speak chinese? (San Francisco: restaurants, versus)

[theunbrainwashed]

Originally Posted by bmw335xi

He isn't assuming you cant speak english, he is just trying to impress you that he can speak mandarin. Most of the Chinese girls I know are so impressed when they meet a white guy who can speak Chinese Geez

Are you not used to being hit on? That's the only way I can see you not getting that he was trying to flirt with you. Is it that shocking someone would be attracted to you? lol

Dude, tell a white girl who is above average in looks that she is really pretty, and she probably will not take well to it. Do you spend much time around women who isn't your girlfriend or wife at all? I do, and if women keep hearing the same thing over and over again they get sick of it. I have several Asian words, some of them women, and they hate it when guys try the same tired lines and ways of trying to talk to them over and over again (highlighting their foreignness). Why is this something so many men can't wrap their heads around, I have no idea. I get sick of that crap too when people find out I'm Puerto Rican, and ask me where in Mexico I'm from or do I speak "Mexican". Hell, even Americans living in Japan get sick of that same treatment after a while! My wife is British and HATES it when people here comment on her accent.

[opossum_]

Originally Posted by BroadwayDiva

As someone who speaks a language other than English, I am personally amused and not insulted if someone else tries to speak in my first language. Granted I'm Asian and oftentimes assume I'm Chinese, I'm not offended at all when that happens simply because I myself am still challenged differentiating the varieties of "whites" - - -British or Nordic or Germanic, etc. It took me a while before I could see the subtleties because I've grew up seeing all Asian faces.

But English is not a Whites' language. It's the official US language. Asians and everyone else speak English, in the US; why try to make a person feel "different" or like "may be you're not from here"..."you just don't look Amerikan enough to me". That guy deserves any kind of harsh response OP would choose; he had crossed boundaries of civility. If he had some knowledge of the OPs background, such as knowing for a fact they had immigrated from China and were a native speaker, and already had some initial communication with OP before, their behavior could pass as clumsy attempt at friendliness or to show off own worldliness--but they had absolutely no information about OP's background and should have kept their assumptions to themselves.

[justmeinca]

Do you speak Chinese?

[opossum_]

"Unbrainwashed" tried to message me "US has no official language" (get a life, please). Guess what? It does have certain official language. It's the language your President uses to address you, the language spoken in courts, the language of the Constitution, pity you. It's the language people of different backgrounds use to unite them.

[bmw335xi]

Originally Posted by theunbrainwashed

Dude, tell a white girl who is above average in looks that she is really pretty, and she probably will not take well to it. Do you spend much time around women who isn't your girlfriend or wife at all? I do, and if women keep hearing the same thing over and over again they get sick of it. I have several Asian words, some of them women, and they hate it when guys try the same tired lines and ways of trying to talk to them over and over again (highlighting their foreignness). Why is this something so many men can't wrap their heads around, I have no idea. I get sick of that crap too when people find out I'm Puerto Rican, and ask me where in Mexico I'm from or do I speak "Mexican". Hell, even Americans living in Japan get sick of that same treatment after a while! My wife is British and HATES it when people here comment on her accent.

First, get off your high horse.

Second, I'm half Asian, my mom moved from South Korea. Most of my friends are female, mostly because the schools I went to were mostly women. Most of my friends are non-Whites and not US born (mostly Asian and Hispanic).

Third, the bottom line is people need to do a better job understanding where people are coming from. If the intentions aren't purposely trying to be insulting, then grow up and don't be an a**hole. This is why the world is becoming so dog eat dog. If you know the person doesn't mean any harm by their words, then don't be a jerk about it. There is always something that someone will say that annoys you even though their intentions aren't bad. Whether it is an Asian woman being hit on by a White male who thinks a good pick up line is "Are you from China" or a person who is from Alaska being asked, "How do you handle winter when it's dark 24 hours a day" etc. People just need to pull the stick out of their a** and be a bit more mature.

[opossum_]

Originally Posted by bmw335xi

There is always something that someone will say that annoys you even though their intentions aren't bad.

There'll be always something that annoys...so that boy should toughen up and learn to like the middle finger in response. Cause OP likes it this way. Middle finger is also a language. She just thinks middle finger is a friendly holla back. When she sees that dude middle finger becomes her "official language"...and there's ain't nothing he can do about that.

[theunbrainwashed]

Originally Posted by opossum_

"Unbrainwashed" tried to message me "US has no official language" (get a life, please). Guess what? It does have certain official language. It's the language your President uses to address you, the language spoken in courts, the language of the Constitution, pity you. It's the language people of different backgrounds use to unite them.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States

Official languages None at federal level

Go look under the map of the US in the box, and you'll find it official and de facto are 2 totally different things.....lol. Here's a napkin to wipe that egg off your face

Originally Posted by bmw335xi

First, get off your high horse.

Second, I'm half Asian, my mom moved from South Korea. Most of my friends are female, mostly because the schools I went to were mostly women. Most of my friends are non-Whites and not US born (mostly Asian and Hispanic).

Third, the bottom line is people need to do a better job understanding where people are coming from. If the intentions aren't purposely trying to be insulting, then grow up and don't be an a**hole. This is why the world is becoming so dog eat dog. If you know the person doesn't mean any harm by their words, then don't be a jerk about it. There is always something that someone will say that annoys you even though their intentions aren't bad. Whether it is an Asian woman being hit on by a White male who thinks a good pick up line is "Are you from China" or a person who is from Alaska being asked, "How do you handle winter when it's dark 24 hours a day" etc. People just need to pull the stick out of their a** and be a bit more mature.

I'm standing on my own two feet, I'm not on a horse

So what? I'm 3/4 Hispanic (with a Chinese immigrant stepfather), congratulations. You sound just like a typical American guy to me who can't comprehend why a girl would get offended at something. Male is still male regardless of race . That's like people in my culture who get mad and can't understand why American girls don't like it when we whistle and make cat calls to American girls

Maybe she had a bad day, maybe she has heard it 100 times already and is sick of it. I don't like it when people say that **** to me either. I was born in the US too, I'm not foreign, FFS. Stop making me feel like an outsider. You don't know the circumstances of that person whether they were harassed for it when they were young (like me), or whatever.

[LarsMac]

Originally Posted by JustCuriouss

I live in SF, where 33.3% percent of its population is comprised of Chinese, second only to 48.5% whites.I was walking to class when a white dude and i exchanged smiles and nods, and then he said in mandarin " do you speak mandarin?" ( i don't speak mandarin, but i can understand a bit.)

And i took this to be offensive, esp since we have exchanged smiles and nods, which meant that we were in good terms, but the first thing he asked about me was if i could speak chinese in chinese.

If this occurred in Europe or mid US, it is understandable. But SAN FRANCISCO!! There are asians everywhere here, many of them second or third generations who can speak little to no chinese

What would be an appropriate response to such a situation, because in a place in San Francisco, such a question just comes off as mockery to me, and i feel like sticking my middle finger at him.

Maybe the guy is a foreigner, himself, who speaks little English, but speaks several Asian languages fluently, and was hoping to get a conversation going.

[bmw335xi]

Originally Posted by theunbrainwashed

I'm standing on my own two feet, I'm not on a horse

So what? I'm 3/4 Hispanic (with a Chinese immigrant stepfather), congratulations. You sound just like a typical American guy to me who can't comprehend why a girl would get offended at something. Male is still male regardless of race . That's like people in my culture who get mad and can't understand why American girls don't like it when we whistle and make cat calls to American girls

Maybe she had a bad day, maybe she has heard it 100 times already and is sick of it. I don't like it when people say that **** to me either. I was born in the US too, I'm not foreign, FFS. Stop making me feel like an outsider. You don't know the circumstances of that person whether they were harassed for it when they were young (like me), or whatever.

1) You are missing the point entirely and by the way, nice double standard, "oh nobody can stereotype me, but I can make blanket statements like you sound like a typical American guy who can't..." Are you a hypocrite?

Should a White person cause a scene if they go to a Chinese restaurant the server gives them a fork instead of chop sticks like everyone else? This whole thing is so trivial and childish. People get offended by anything these days.

2) What I said is there are always going to be someone who annoys you. It doesn't matter whether you are male, female, White, Asian, Californian, Alaskan, German, Australian etc. There will always be someone who is a bit ignorant or naive. However, if the person doesn't mean any harm by their comments, then you should relax and let it go. I get asked the most stupid questions when people find out I grew up in Alaska, yet I don't take it offensively. It gets annoying, but I understand they are just curious to learn more about it.

[NoMoreSnowForMe]

OP, I think it was obnoxiously presumptuous and it would have irritated the stuffing out of me, too.

What the guy needs is a lesson in what can happen when he behaves that way. In other words, a response that makes him not want to do the same thing again.

Something maybe like, looking at him with the hairy eyeball and then saying, "Yo, Dude, no speekee da Chineee. Get lost."

On second thought, next time, just give him the hairy eyeball. He'll probably think he succeeded if he gets any verbal response from you.