appropriate response to whites asking me in chinese if i speak chinese? (to live, vacation)

[bmw335xi]

Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe

But, you don't walk up to someone like me, who looks Irish, and assume I can't speak English and say hello in Gaelic.

It is different.

It has nothing to do with thinking you don't know English, it's more about hey I'm going to surprise this person by actually speaking their native tongue instead of being the typical American who only knows English because America is the center of the world and the only country that matters.

[Malloric]

Originally Posted by JustCuriouss

I live in SF, where 33.3% percent of its population is comprised of Chinese, second only to 48.5% whites.I was walking to class when a white dude and i exchanged smiles and nods, and then he said in mandarin " do you speak mandarin?" ( i don't speak mandarin, but i can understand a bit.)

And i took this to be offensive, esp since we have exchanged smiles and nods, which meant that we were in good terms, but the first thing he asked about me was if i could speak chinese in chinese.

If this occurred in Europe or mid US, it is understandable. But SAN FRANCISCO!! There are asians everywhere here, many of them second or third generations who can speak little to no chinese

What would be an appropriate response to such a situation, because in a place in San Francisco, such a question just comes off as mockery to me, and i feel like sticking my middle finger at him.

Growing up.

[Stephen1110]

Originally Posted by bmw335xi

It has nothing to do with thinking you don't know English, it's more about hey I'm going to surprise this person by actually speaking their native tongue instead of being the typical American who only knows English because America is the center of the world and the only country that matters.

That's what I'm thinking.

Originally Posted by JustCuriouss

I live in SF, where 33.3% percent of its population is comprised of Chinese, second only to 48.5% whites.I was walking to class when a white dude and i exchanged smiles and nods, and then he said in mandarin " do you speak mandarin?" ( i don't speak mandarin, but i can understand a bit.)

And i took this to be offensive, esp since we have exchanged smiles and nods, which meant that we were in good terms, but the first thing he asked about me was if i could speak chinese in chinese.

If this occurred in Europe or mid US, it is understandable. But SAN FRANCISCO!! There are asians everywhere here, many of them second or third generations who can speak little to no chinese

What would be an appropriate response to such a situation, because in a place in San Francisco, such a question just comes off as mockery to me, and i feel like sticking my middle finger at him.

The best part of learning a language is speaking it to those who speak the language. If anything, it's a show of respect and admiration for someone else's native culture. It's an enriching and beautiful experience.

[silverkris]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

For Those Who Don't Get It: Being addressed in a foreign language tends to make people who were born and raised in the US (with families going back generations, in the US) feel like foreigners, made to feel like they don't belong. It happens a lot in NM, where I currently live; people see a Hispanic face, and start speaking Spanish to someone whose lineage goes back 5oo years in NM.

OP, maybe you could discuss it with other SF-Chinese students. See what they think. Maybe someone will come up with a suggestion for a group strategy or response.

Very good point - that resonates a lot if you're Asian American, because at times even if you're native born, you're made to feel like perpetual foreigners. As a 2nd generation Chinese American, I've lost count of the times I've been complimented on my English and asked when I came to this country.

But I'm not really offended if a non-Chinese person tries to speak Chinese to me (I am fluent in Mandarin and know some Cantonese)- as I like it that someone is breaking out of that monolingual American know-nothing attitude about languages.

Now for the OP, it could be a case of a patronizing guy with yellow fever and I'd understand the reaction.

[Brucifer]

Oh the horror this thread would be if OP was Japanese or Korean.....

At least the first thing out of his mouth was if you spoke the language. If he had started to talk about the weather or school or directions to somewhere right off the bat, then I could see more of an offense. I'm sure Ruth4Truth gets thrown into the middle of a conversation more than a simple 'Espanol?' to start things off and I can see where that would be annoying.

If this occurred in Europe or mid US, it is understandable. But SAN FRANCISCO!! There are asians everywhere here, many of them second or third generations who can speak little to no chinese

Is there some sort of armband that shows generational status? I would see more offense if this would of occurred in Europe or mid-US: assuming any Asian is a native-born speaker (that is if they even picked the right nationality). He is in SAN FRANCISCO!! where 1/3 of the population is Chinese. What are the chances he finds the only uptight one in the bunch?

Was he flirting? Dunno. Wasn't there, but by your account, there was some agreeable non-verbal communication that occurred beforehand, so that could be interpreted as a invitation to a verbal exchange. Next time just keep your dǒulì a little lower over your eyes.

[Bonez765]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

It happens a lot in NM, where I currently live people see a Hispanic face, and start speaking Spanish to someone whose lineage goes back 5oo years in NM.

The underlined part is an actual ignorant and offensive thing to say Ruth. You are saying only darker skinned mestizos are somehow Hispanic when that isn't the case at all. But again, what do you expect from a know-it all arrogant SWPL.

[stan4]

Originally Posted by bmw335xi

It has nothing to do with thinking you don't know English, it's more about hey I'm going to surprise this person by actually speaking their native tongue instead of being the typical American who only knows English because America is the center of the world and the only country that matters.

Uh.

My native tongue IS English.

That's the whole point. The assumption that everyone who doesn't look like you is a foreigner.

[G Grasshopper]

I think this whole discussion boils down to people's tendency to take offense rather than treating others with kindness. If the OP was taken aback by the other person's inappropriate use of Mandarin, the kind thing to do would have been to correct him - to thank him for trying, but in fact English is the correct language, and perhaps he should not make assumptions based on how people look. It could have ended up being a normal conversation with some learning, perhaps on both sides. But people who are quick to take offense cut off the normal give and take of human beings learning about each other. I'm not saying that one should NEVER take offense, but that we might live more peaceful lives if we assume that most people want to be good people, and that we can have civil conversations, and so hopefully correct any errors of perception and behavior.

[Ralph_Kirk]

Being offended at someone who is trying to be friendly is a rather peculiarly American problem (although I understand Parisians are prone to it as well).

There are so many deliberately obnoxious people to be offended by, it makes no sense wasting offense energy on people who are trying to be friendly.

[Ralph_Kirk]

Originally Posted by stan4

Uh.

My native tongue IS English.

That's the whole point. The assumption that everyone who doesn't look like you is a foreigner.

I suspect there is something in the way you look or dress that suggests you are a foreigner, especially if this has happened more than once.

If it has happened to you only once, then for sure you've got your panties in a wad over nothing.