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Old 02-26-2016, 09:21 PM
 
1,099 posts, read 896,614 times
Reputation: 734

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post

Just saying that the OPs post saying the son needs to find a woman who knows she'll have to work - really got my goat.
Wow. That couldn't be further from my intentions in making the comment that both parties would need to work. That turned into a very vicious comprehension on your part (honestly, none of what you said...all the way to not sharing duties around the house...has anything to do with my comment). If I offended you, my apologies. I just don't know how all of that could transpire from what I thought was an innocent, matter of fact, comment. That's one heck of a tangent.
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Old 02-26-2016, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,813 posts, read 32,322,822 times
Reputation: 38565
Quote:
Originally Posted by bodyforlife99 View Post
Wow. That couldn't be further from my intentions in making the comment that both parties would need to work. That turned into a very vicious comprehension on your part (honestly, none of what you said...all the way to not sharing duties around the house...has anything to do with my comment). If I offended you, my apologies. I just don't know how all of that could transpire from what I thought was an innocent, matter of fact, comment. That's one heck of a tangent.
"Marry a woman than understands that buying a home here requires both partners to work - This has been the case for years so any lists talking about a family with a single income earner not being able to afford here are just stupid (virtually no profession on its own could buy a house here). The average household income in SF is roughly $105K. You and your wife will need to earn at least 1 1/3 of that amount. Shoot for that goal. If that means picking up an extra 8 hours on a weekend for a side job, so be it. Keep in mind, even if your debt ratio on the mortgage ends up being in the low 40% range, that remaining amount is still much higher than most areas of the country. You'll survive (we did and we started off at roughly 42%)."

Well, the fact that you wrote the above at all says to me you won't understand my point. But, you're including a workhorse wife as part of the plan. I just find that so archaic.

Like an ad for a wife back in the pioneer days. Must be able to bear children, have all her teeth, cook, able to chop wood and handle a plow.

I just think including finding a workhorse wife as part of a plan for a son to be able to buy a home in the SF Bay Area is ... really wrong.

Plus, there's no quality of life in that picture. Maybe you should really advise him to go somewhere else.

Last edited by NoMoreSnowForMe; 02-26-2016 at 10:31 PM..
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Old 02-26-2016, 10:37 PM
 
1,099 posts, read 896,614 times
Reputation: 734
Don't see it (or the word "workhorse"...your word not mine) but my apologies nonetheless. I could have substituted two men in the scenario or two women and the comment would have been the same, and as far away as possible as the meaning you took.

Last edited by bodyforlife99; 02-26-2016 at 10:58 PM..
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Old 02-26-2016, 11:30 PM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,390 posts, read 11,558,280 times
Reputation: 7544
Quote:
Originally Posted by bodyforlife99 View Post
Wow. That couldn't be further from my intentions in making the comment that both parties would need to work. That turned into a very vicious comprehension on your part (honestly, none of what you said...all the way to not sharing duties around the house...has anything to do with my comment). If I offended you, my apologies. I just don't know how all of that could transpire from what I thought was an innocent, matter of fact, comment. That's one heck of a tangent.
I think if he falls in love with a woman and she doesn't work or works in a job she likes that doesn't pay as much as your instructions say he'll be fine moving. I also think you should have replaced instructions with advice. You follow instructions and you choose to take advice.

You'll be one hell of a mother in law.
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Old 02-26-2016, 11:32 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
18,965 posts, read 32,477,524 times
Reputation: 13615
I would also say stop trying to look for your "forever home" in the best/good school districts as your FIRST house, especially if you don't even have kids yet or if they're not school aged. My parents first home was in Vallejo but I grew up in Walnut Creek from 3rd grade on. We hope to upgrade to a better school district later on down the road but private school is about the same as childcare for us anyways. Personally I think a good Middle School and High School are a lot more important than elementary anyways.

Last edited by sav858; 02-26-2016 at 11:44 PM..
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Old 02-26-2016, 11:36 PM
 
1,099 posts, read 896,614 times
Reputation: 734
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppySead View Post
I think if he falls in love with a woman and she doesn't work or works in a job she likes that doesn't pay as much as your instructions say he'll be fine moving. I also think you should have replaced instructions with advice. You follow instructions and you choose to take advice.

You'll be one hell of a mother in law.
lol, I guess I would since I'm not planning on having a sex change any time soon. I always wondered what I'd look like in heels.
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Old 02-27-2016, 12:01 AM
 
30,872 posts, read 36,800,350 times
Reputation: 34446
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Well, the fact that you wrote the above at all says to me you won't understand my point. But, you're including a workhorse wife as part of the plan. I just find that so archaic.
It's not archaic, just the reality of the situation if you want a modest SFH in the Bay Area. Both parents usually need to be workhorses. Not what I would want. I'd say either skip the kids or move somewhere cheaper, personally.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Plus, there's no quality of life in that picture. Maybe you should really advise him to go somewhere else.
Yep, like I said.
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Old 02-27-2016, 12:14 AM
 
1,099 posts, read 896,614 times
Reputation: 734
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
It's not archaic, just the reality of the situation if you want a modest SFH in the Bay Area. Both parents usually need to be workhorses. Not what I would want. I'd say either skip the kids or move somewhere cheaper, personally.



Yep, like I said.
Unfortunately, your comment and many of the others make an assumption of a stagnant income. In most scenarios I've seen based on friends and family of similar background and education levels, incomes rise and guess what...your mortgage payment stays the same. So do things typically get easier as time goes by? Of course. Is there more money for savings (i.e. retirement)? Of course.

Not to mention, what happens to rents over that length of time (at least in this area)? They go up. It's why I have to laugh at the naysayers that just keep pounding the table on how no one can buy a house, but somehow they have money to pay exorbitant rent prices. Maybe you can explain how that's possible. No one else seems like they want to touch that. I just keep seeing the ol' dodge and deflect.

Last edited by bodyforlife99; 02-27-2016 at 12:23 AM..
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Old 02-27-2016, 12:57 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
18,965 posts, read 32,477,524 times
Reputation: 13615
Surprisingly CA has a relatively high percentage of SAHM's. But not sure what the stats are for the Bay Area specifically.
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Old 02-27-2016, 05:24 AM
 
Location: Elk Grove, CA
3 posts, read 4,270 times
Reputation: 10
And talk to a Realtor who is Certified in Down payment assistance. There are so many state, federal and government programs that the general population doesn't even know about! Why pay more than you have to on a down payment or closing costs? Save that money in a nest egg for the future.
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