Why do people look at you like you're crazy when you say "hello"? (San Francisco: home, neighborhood)

[jade408]

Originally Posted by mr bolo

I noticed the races / ethnic groups dont intermingle much, everybody stays with their group

in smaller towns people tend to intermingle more with each other, even if they are not from the same ethnic group

the more crowded or bigger the city the more people only socialize with their own people / peer group.

If I were to say hello to another person and they found out I wasnt from their ethnic group they might not be so friendly or want to talk.

In my experience community size has no relationship to how much different groups intermingle.

But their are some cultural norms where people tend to say hi to their own ethnic group more. This sums it up really well!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0Zn4NCsP9Q

[ohhwanderlust]

In SF, there's just so many people crowded and so little personal space, that I think people just want to preserve as much personal space as possible. That and you can't possibly say hi to everyone you pass, so people just decide not to bother altogether.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by Lockdev

I'm originally from the south, where everyone says hello to everyone.

Some people here say hello back here, but most seem to start the scurry-away-from-you dance or just stare at you like you cussed out their mum or are about to rob them. You can literally see the fear in their eyes.

This is a serious question, but is there a high level of autism in the Bay Area?

Why are people just so unfriendly?

Because they're from Seattle. ( j/k, but not really....) In most of the Bay Area, it used to be normal to say hello to people, to be neighborly. It was, and still is with some people, normal to share a chat and a laugh while waiting in line at the cashier stand. I can only assume that people who aren't comfortable with that are transplants from elsewhere.

[scirocco]

The reason why?. You are living in the United States. One of the first things a euro ex pat like me notices when living here is the true lack of friendliness , nay just everyday common courtesy shown by many americans. Almost like you have a small group of pretty normal socially competent individuals, nothing extraordinary by european standards. Then you have that group of embattled souls caught up in their own private wars with an element of paranoia and social impairment that goes along with developing viewpoints some will consider ready to die for. Are all americans in this category of the above. No. Just enough to make us all worry at some point for their own safety and the safety of others.

Sad day when a casual hello on most American streets is construed as a potential threat or opening up a pandoras box of possible meanings. The hyper analysis that goes into an innocent hello is quite amazing.

Safe to say, many americans do not trust something as simple as a hello to a stranger. There has to be something else going on there. Nothing can be that simple , can it ?. We can't show too much niceness or kindness. That's only for the weak and the wimpy.

[RMESMH]

Originally Posted by G Grasshopper

The people there were VERY friendly

Yep. IMO, one of the best things about Texas.

[RMESMH]

Originally Posted by Lockdev

Lafayette/Moraga/Orinda on the other hard is different. It really feels like I'm living in a city full of oddballs that are from another planet. The social norms around here are very hard to understand.

I had to chuckle at this. You don't know the half of it. I'm a Lamorinda native. Unless you plan to live there for a long time and feel you need to figure out this puzzle in order to have a fulfilling life while living there, I wouldn't bother/would suggest not wasting your time. You might not end up liking your conclusions.


Last fall, I got into a conversation with two baristas at a new Starbucks here in Texas about Starbucks in different areas. I was explaining Peet's and the difference in attitude/perspective, IMO, between garden variety Starbucks customers and garden variety Peet's customers. One of the baristas said he agreed completely, adding "and I just spent the entire summer in the Bay Area living with my uncle in Orinda". His uncle is a "Peet's person".

[Greymatter46]

People who inhabit cities or other larger metro areas fall out of the small-town, hello-to-everybody habit because it is unsustainable.


Try doing that in Times Square and you'll get what I mean real fast.

[RMESMH]

Originally Posted by Greymatter46

People who inhabit cities or other larger metro areas fall out of the small-town, hello-to-everybody habit because it is unsustainable.

.


Hello-to-everybody....no.
Exchanging smiles, opening doors, random conversations in general stores, Starbucks, Panera Bread, bookstores, etc......yes....at least in the Houston metro.

Try doing that in Times Square and you'll get what I mean real fast.

I have to agree with that .

[DMenscha]

Originally Posted by jade408

Most people say hi back to me. But yes, initiating a hello isn't part of the culture of CA.

It is where I live in the foothills. Eye contact and a smile too!

[eureka1]

Hasn't been my experience.