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I'm married now but was dating in SF from when I was 22-26 years old before I got serious with my husband. I'm not gorgeous and in fact probably what many of the superficial people on this forum would call ugly (although i'm pretty sure i'm not hideously ugly just not a model type).
I think there have been a lot of stereotypes on the forum including Asians Females only like white guys, Indian guys are discriminated against, other races are discriminated against, SF girls are ugly mean manhating masculine etc. White guys are king etc.
I am 30 now and some of my friends (both male and female) are paired off and some aren't. I don't think there are huge differences in who is paired off based on looks, success etc (although all my friends are well educated professionals so can't speak to those who have not gotten at least a college degree and hold down a professional job). It is always easier to date when you are superficially attractive and have good "credentials" (money, job etc.). This goes for males and females. There will always be people who are really into looks and hating on people they deem not attractive enough or feminine enough or masculine enough or whatever. This seems to be especially true in a city like SF where folks coming here are very concerned with being successful. They want their significant others to be a reflection of their success. I am short and curvy and you better believe I was looked over for taller skinny chicks hundreds of times in my dating career. The same thing is gonna go for those other types too. Sometimes shorter guys might get looked over or Asian guys or Latinos or whatever. Maybe a girl asks you about your salary or whether you own a house and she deems you unworthy. I've heard these kinds of stories all the time.
Easy advice. Just ignore these people and don't get all upset about it. There are so many people in the Bay Area that if you have the right attitude you are going to find one you like who has all the criteria you are looking for. Just focus on being the best you can be. Be kind, don't totally ignore your looks, have a positive attitude and find hobbies that make you feel inspired and happy. Just generally be a kind supportive cool person and it will all fall into place. Also, this is common sense but actively try to meet people. I know guys and girls who are just sitting around hanging out with the same people every weekend in their house and expecting to meet someone. This makes no sense. You either have to online date or go get yourself into a situation to meet new people. I have many friends (male and female) who never stray outside the same group of people and wonder why they can't meet anyone.
I would have to agree with earlier posters that if you can't find someone you like you need to reflect on your approach and make some adjustments.
Bless you for a post that's a breath of fresh air on this forum. And I've found that both here and on the Relationships sub-forum, most of the guys complaining about a dearth of prospects aren't making much effort to get out there and circulate, meet people.
I'm married now but was dating in SF from when I was 22-26 years old before I got serious with my husband. I'm not gorgeous and in fact probably what many of the superficial people on this forum would call ugly (although i'm pretty sure i'm not hideously ugly just not a model type).
I think there have been a lot of stereotypes on the forum including Asians Females only like white guys, Indian guys are discriminated against, other races are discriminated against, SF girls are ugly mean manhating masculine etc. White guys are king etc.
I am 30 now and some of my friends (both male and female) are paired off and some aren't. I don't think there are huge differences in who is paired off based on looks, success etc (although all my friends are well educated professionals so can't speak to those who have not gotten at least a college degree and hold down a professional job). It is always easier to date when you are superficially attractive and have good "credentials" (money, job etc.). This goes for males and females. There will always be people who are really into looks and hating on people they deem not attractive enough or feminine enough or masculine enough or whatever. This seems to be especially true in a city like SF where folks coming here are very concerned with being successful. They want their significant others to be a reflection of their success. I am short and curvy and you better believe I was looked over for taller skinny chicks hundreds of times in my dating career. The same thing is gonna go for those other types too. Sometimes shorter guys might get looked over or Asian guys or Latinos or whatever. Maybe a girl asks you about your salary or whether you own a house and she deems you unworthy. I've heard these kinds of stories all the time.
Easy advice. Just ignore these people and don't get all upset about it. There are so many people in the Bay Area that if you have the right attitude you are going to find one you like who has all the criteria you are looking for. Just focus on being the best you can be. Be kind, don't totally ignore your looks, have a positive attitude and find hobbies that make you feel inspired and happy. Just generally be a kind supportive cool person and it will all fall into place. Also, this is common sense but actively try to meet people. I know guys and girls who are just sitting around hanging out with the same people every weekend in their house and expecting to meet someone. This makes no sense. You either have to online date or go get yourself into a situation to meet new people. I have many friends (male and female) who never stray outside the same group of people and wonder why they can't meet anyone.
I would have to agree with earlier posters that if you can't find someone you like you need to reflect on your approach and make some adjustments.
Disagree, disagree, disagree. And I'm also guessing you're more attractive than you think.
I will hold to my original premise that it's all about numbers. I can assure you BayNative, if (while you were dating) you lived somewhere where the ratio of men to women was 10 to 1, you would become even more attractive than you already are and your dating life would be vibrant. Trust me on this one, Cleopatra, you would have buffed, half naked men with fans, feeding you grapes.
Btw the way, I saw a home the other day in serious disrepair, needed a paint job in addition to some other things. Sold for a million bucks! I'm guessing if that home was in an area where there were brand new homes, they were plentiful, and not in a desirable place to live, it wouldn't sell for half of that. Demand, demand, demand. Works for houses, works for people (Oh you did not go there...actually yes, yes I did....LOL). I got me a pretty little girl!
Last edited by bodyforlife99; 07-11-2016 at 07:41 AM..
I'm married now but was dating in SF from when I was 22-26 years old before I got serious with my husband. I'm not gorgeous and in fact probably what many of the superficial people on this forum would call ugly (although i'm pretty sure i'm not hideously ugly just not a model type).
I think there have been a lot of stereotypes on the forum including Asians Females only like white guys, Indian guys are discriminated against, other races are discriminated against, SF girls are ugly mean manhating masculine etc. White guys are king etc.
I am 30 now and some of my friends (both male and female) are paired off and some aren't. I don't think there are huge differences in who is paired off based on looks, success etc (although all my friends are well educated professionals so can't speak to those who have not gotten at least a college degree and hold down a professional job). It is always easier to date when you are superficially attractive and have good "credentials" (money, job etc.). This goes for males and females. There will always be people who are really into looks and hating on people they deem not attractive enough or feminine enough or masculine enough or whatever. This seems to be especially true in a city like SF where folks coming here are very concerned with being successful. They want their significant others to be a reflection of their success. I am short and curvy and you better believe I was looked over for taller skinny chicks hundreds of times in my dating career. The same thing is gonna go for those other types too. Sometimes shorter guys might get looked over or Asian guys or Latinos or whatever. Maybe a girl asks you about your salary or whether you own a house and she deems you unworthy. I've heard these kinds of stories all the time.
Easy advice. Just ignore these people and don't get all upset about it. There are so many people in the Bay Area that if you have the right attitude you are going to find one you like who has all the criteria you are looking for. Just focus on being the best you can be. Be kind, don't totally ignore your looks, have a positive attitude and find hobbies that make you feel inspired and happy. Just generally be a kind supportive cool person and it will all fall into place. Also, this is common sense but actively try to meet people. I know guys and girls who are just sitting around hanging out with the same people every weekend in their house and expecting to meet someone. This makes no sense. You either have to online date or go get yourself into a situation to meet new people. I have many friends (male and female) who never stray outside the same group of people and wonder why they can't meet anyone.
I would have to agree with earlier posters that if you can't find someone you like you need to reflect on your approach and make some adjustments.
Yep. The city is very "cliquey" and maybe too much so at times. Look around San Francisco on a daily basis, at work, at lunch places, at pretty much anything and everything and you find cosy tight little self contained groups allover the place. Look and see how exposure to new people or new things , will have members of these little clusters as nervous as Mark Z. when we was starting to do interviews in the media.
Unfortunately , along with the good paying jobs in tech, comes with it a overt sense of "family" as the startup culture typically requires for admission. With that , and it has to be said the tech geek mindset for the large part , sure there is a true extrovert or two there as well, comes an insular thinking which does not always carry over well to everything outside the tech world. Living in the Bay Area of many well paid college grads , it is very easy to get caught in the tech cocoon and have little to no idea of how the "real world" works. So, for many interested in dating , it is of course a natural need for all, chances are much better when looking for some romance within the tech sphere. Probably and in all honesty the only chance for many. Problem is young tech folks are not always fully exposed or experienced in the tough times that come with moving from one relationship to another and the other rather unpleasant realities of affairs of the heart. So for many they are already beginning with a distinct disadvantage. Maybe they got away from such things , before, by immersion in tech pursuits.
Now they are facing a brave new step forward into uncharted territory like never before. Affairs of the heart are even tougher than PHD level calculus for quite a few.
So, there is alot of nit picking and puerile antics engaged by many young techies. Like junior high eq levels coupled with higher iqs. Not always the best recipe for success in dating and romance.
Maybe meeting somebody or romance is a fleeting idea for many a techie anyways. Something that crossed the mind at sometime though never really committed to meeting somebody.
All is not lost , just think of all that money and investments made while working in the Bay Area. Enough to make up for all that time and energy spent immersed in coding and creating the next super app.
Lastly, I think there is no perfect world anyhow. I am sure the average non geek living outside of the tech sphere , with a few failed relationships, maybe a kid or two , involved in divorce and now dating a new person etc....would look at these young well heeled techies and say what are is wrong with them ?. All that money and security in the future and they can't even get a date. On the other hand , the techie would counter , all those relationships and intimate moments in life and those people can't even get a good investment plan for the future.
You have to love living in San Francisco. I do. For all Asian girls in San Francisco, God has answered the male tech geek dreams and given us heaven on earth. There is nothing as happy as a White geek, like myself in the presence of some the greatest women in the World. We can sweat and be socially awkward all we want, we can be geeky, we can be ourselves and feel confident in our Asian wives and gfs.
. I can assure you BayNative, if (while you were dating) you lived somewhere where the ratio of men to women was 10 to 1, you would become even more attractive than you already are and your dating life would be vibrant. Trust me on this one, Cleopatra, you would have buffed, half naked men with fans, feeding you grapes.
That's what the guys on the Seattle forum say: that women are bombarded with attention daily. My niece works in one of those places; it's called Silicon Valley, and her dating life is non-existent. Someone on this SF forum got it right when they said that the tech bros may be thirsty, but without social skills, they can't socialize their way out of a paper bag. (OK, that's not an exact quote. ) There are still plenty of women in Seattle who the thirsties don't seem to know exist. So it just isn't that simple. Granted, you'd think it would be, but humans can work very counter-intuitively. They're not always predictable.
Getting into some very strange turf, B4Life, with your photo riffs.
I was on a roll this morning
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) There are still plenty of women in Seattle who the thirsties don't seem to know exist. So it just isn't that simple. Granted, you'd think it would be, but humans can work very counter-intuitively. They're not always predictable.
